I’ve always been the understanding one, the supportive one, the attentive one, the compassionate one. I’ve stood by Clark throughout his outrageously expensive studies to move his career forward, his long hours at the office, his business venture that sucks up any of his free time, and his recent distant demeanor. This is how he repays me.
I don’t know if I’ve ever gotten mad at Clark over the six months we dated and the twelve months we’ve been living together. I’ve been pretty good at eating my emotions to avoid rocking the boat… especially since he got his big promotion at work.
He’s been cold with me. He even makes sure to linger in front of the television until I’ve fallen asleep before coming upstairs. I’ve noticed, I just chose not to say anything. I honestly hoped it was something I had done or that he was overwhelmed by his new responsibilities. Being faced with the reality of his treachery is a bitter pill to swallow. I’ve always bitten my tongue when it comes to Clark, but in this moment, I snap.
I’m not joking. I go apeshit on him. I grab the first thing I can from the dresser to my left and throw it across the room, praying I hit him smack between the eyes. He ducks just in time and the oversize wax candle smashes against the wall behind him.
“Ali, honey, calm down.”
He did not just call me honey.
“How can you possibly explain this, Clark?” I spit. “You can’t worm your way out of this one.”
I’m so enraged, I’m unable to speak. The humiliation of his words while his cock was buried deep inside Paula is devastating. I guess I’m not his ideal woman since I don’t have a “hot body” and our sex life has been “boring vanilla” since I don’t “appreciate sex”. His voice is still ringing so loudly inside my head, it’s robbed me of my power to tell him how I feel about him. I grab another candle and fling it at him and he jumps back in bed, trying to take cover under Paula’s body. Coward.
Both Paula and Clark are hovering under the sheets I saved for months to afford and I’m toying with so many ways of unleashing my fury on both them. I take a step forward and both of them gasp in fear. Instead of attacking them, I head to my closet and I grab an old duffle bag my big brother Dave gave me so many years ago when I moved to New York to go to college. I unzip it and I throw in an armful of clothing. I’m in such a rush, I don’t bother removing the hangers. I turn around to the other corner of the closet to grab piles of folded jeans and sweaters. I dump everything in my bag. I slam shut the closet door and I storm past the two idiots watching my every move speechless like a Trappist monk and nun who have taken a vow of silence. I get to my dresser and I pull every drawer out like a wild beast and I shove in as much as my bag can take. I don’t need to have eyes at the back of my head to know that Paula and Clark are shaking and praying I don’t slash their throats for their betrayal.
Once my bag is overflowing, I straighten up and turn on my heel to face the two people I hate the most in the world right now. I’m sure the expression on my face must be telling because Clark’s eyes are as big as satellite dishes. Are those beads of sweat on his balding forehead? Yeah, asshole, you should be scared. I take a deep breath to steady my voice before speaking.
“I’ll be back later this week to pick up the rest of my stuff and I’ll mail the keys to you.” My comment is directed at Clark, but my eyes are glued on Paula. She’s always wanted him. She’s never been clever enough to hide it. Well, now she can have him.
I walk out of my former bedroom with my head held high and my shoulders pulled back. I won’t allow him to see how much he’s hurt me. I go down the stairs and grab the small suitcase I left near Paula’s hot-pink strappy sandals and I step outside in the middle of the night. I drop my bags on the top step and I reach out for the handle to shut the door.
The minute my fingers interlace around the metal handle, I lose it and a torrent of tears start pouring down my face. I’ve been such an idiot. I exhale and I slam the door shut so hard behind me I’m surprised I don’t shatter the glass into a million pieces.
CHAPTER TWO
ALLISON
Ten weeks later
The last few weeks have been a turning point for me both personally and professionally. I’m still having nightmares of Paula and Clark fucking. I know they say time helps you forget, and I wish I could erase that bad memory faster. As if walking in on my boyfriend’s betrayal weren’t enough, I lost my job as a junior graphic designer at Big Digital Communications. I had been with this agency for nine months and although I can’t say I loved my job—heck, I can’t even say I liked it—it was a steady paycheck. The hours were daunting and the competitive nature of the business did eat at me, so in some ways I’m not all that crushed about not having to show up there and pretend I was as gung-ho as so many of my other colleagues.