“Any woman in your situation would feel the same way, even if she were wafer-thin. It’s still no reasons to lower your expectations. You’re already convinced neither of these two studs would be interested in you because you’re not as thin as Keira Knightley, but you don’t know that for sure, do you?”
“I guess not,” I say, curling my lips down.
“Honey, I’ve told you before you left, Colorado is a fresh new start for you.”
“Thanks for lifting my spirits. You’re right. It’s all behind me now. No point in getting all depressed in the face of the recent fiascos in my life.”
“Exactly. You didn’t accept Riley’s offer just to relive every moment of your disastrous relationship with that asshole. Not when there are so many dangerously sexy men looming close by. Holy shit, imagine if it gets so hot, the men have to walk around with their shirts off… all. Day. Long. Imagine the eye candy.”
“You sound like my new boss.”
We both laugh.
“What are your plans for tonight? Is there anything to do out there other than to listen to crickets sing or are you going to curl up with a book in your new bed?”
“Riley is cooking a special dinner for my arrival at Jake’s house.”
“Jake? Her brother? What are you going to wear?”
“You’re such a fashion whore. There’s not much room for fashion out here and since I brought basic clothing, there’s not much I can do.”
“For the love of God, instead of putting yourself down, answer my question.” I hear the impatience in her voice. Gwyn hates it when I’m down on myself, but sometimes I can’t help it. Old habits die hard.
“I’m sorry,” I say, immediately regretting my last comment. “I was thinking of wearing a pair of dark navy boot-cut jeans I got at the Gap and a button-down turquoise shirt I bought a few weeks ago on clearance at Macy’s.”
“Turquoise looks amazing on you.”
“Yeah, I guess.” I’m unsure.
“There you go again.”
“Listen, Gwyn, I’m very self-conscious of the ten pounds I still want to lose.”
“Sweetie, just because you have a bit of a tummy doesn’t mean you’re not yummy.”
“You keep reminding me of that, but I’m not buying it. I don’t look like you—never will. Walking in on my ex and Paula kind of confirms what I’ve always known down deep inside—there’s nothing attractive about me. Clark professed to liking every part of me, but his words and actions suggest it was all a lie.”
“Ali, you’re being blind here. You can’t crucify all mankind because you’ve dated a few idiots. Men aren’t looking for perfection. They want a woman who’s confident about herself—just the way she is… not the way she wishes she were. I mean, you must remember my colleague Kaileigh O’Connell from the barbecue we had at my house for Memorial Day?”
“Yeah, I do,” I acquiesce grudgingly. “It’s hard to forget her.”
“Exactly. She has quite arresting large teeth and she has a big gap right in the middle of her pearly whites. On top of that, she has bee-stung rosebud lips, large eyes and serious dimples. But here’s the thing, she’s fun, joyful and bubbly. Her personality is a real magnet… and her boyfriend is smoking hot. I mean, fan-me-and-pour-a-bucket-of-ice-water-all-over-my-fiery-body hot.”
“You’re the least expressive person I know,” I mock.
We both laugh.
“Okay, you have a point. Kaileigh bagged a hunk who adores her.”
“And so can you and you don’t have to look like a freaking supermodel.”
“I wish I had as much confidence as you or Kaileigh, but I don’t. You’ve always been fearless and I’ve always been riddled with insecurities.”
My best friend has been pushing me out of my comfort zone since the day we met. She was the one who took me kicking and screaming to my first frat party and got me passing-out drunk. Her then boyfriend, Darrell Cooks, invited her to be his date at this big bash one of his friends was holding at his parents’ house while they were away in Hawaii and she agreed on one condition—she had to be able to drag me along with her. I never clued in on why she insisted on bringing me because I ended up spending the earlier part of the night hugging the walls because I felt so out of place. Everyone was tall, skinny and sexy and I was not.
Gwyn wouldn’t understand my angst. She’s always been gorgeous and the life of any party. When she walks in a room every man stops and pays attention—I’m the invisible one following in her footsteps.