Nothing that is, except Grey.
For no sooner had I begun, than he gently, but firmly, grabbed hold of my arms and pried me free. He shook his head as our eyes met.
“No, Maddie.”
After the initial shock of rejection wore off, I frowned as I looked at him.
“No what, Grey?” I demanded.
“Not right now. I’m beat. And, you’re… in no condition for it either."
I looked at him in disbelief for a moment before averting my eyes. A sudden chill fell over me. I crossed my arms, rubbing them with my palms. Before Grey could say another word, I turned and headed back towards the bedroom. Shame trailed right behind me, mocking me with every step I took.
“Maddie…” he moaned. “Come on. Come back.”
I slammed the door behind me when I entered the room. The rush of wind sent a whistle of cool air up my backside as I ambled towards the bed, collapsing in it and swaddling the sheets around me. With my back to the door, I looked across the room for an instant before my eyes flickered closed. A subtle discharge of warm tears escaped from my eyes as I squeezed them tight.
Just then, I heard the door open behind me.
Grey walked across the room and sat down on the bed. For a moment or two he remained silent before attempting to touch me on the shoulder. I grumbled when he did and rolled further away from him.
“Maddie,” he began. “What’s going on with you?"
I swallowed hard and smeared away the tears from my cheeks.
“Maddie?”
“Nothing.” I muttered.
“Well, it sure seems like something to me. Why are you upset?”
“If you have to ask, then it’s not worth discussing.”
“What?” Grey said, as he grabbed my shoulder once more and tried to roll me back towards him.
“Don’t!” I yelled, yanking myself free of his grasp.
He exhaled and continued, “Maddie, I really don’t have the energy for this. I’m going to the kitchen to get something to eat. Do you want anything?”
“No,” I whispered.
I felt the mattress shift its position once again as he got up. Listening in disbelief as he walked away, I wondered what the hell just happened. Not once, ever, had he rejected me. As he exited the room, it was as if the passion we once had left with him. If things were like this now, what would they be like when the baby arrived?
Would we ever have sex again?
He hadn’t said a single word about the fact I’d dressed up for him and made an effort. No, he seemed more focused on his appetite for food than my hunger for him.
What was happening to us?
Didn’t he want me anymore?
GREY
I don’t know what the hell had gotten into Maddie tonight.
Look, I got what she was trying do and I understood she was feeling neglected. She looked fucking beautiful tonight and we hadn’t had sex in a long time. A lot goddamn longer than I wanted, of course. Turning her down hadn’t been easy, but I wasn’t in the mood. Not tonight. Not with what we had to discuss.
I finished the last of my meal and my beer, tossing it back with a long pull. The grassy hops flavor rolled across my tongue and slid down my throat. Hitching up my pants, I walked back towards the bedroom once again and as I entered, I noticed she’d gotten up and disappeared.
“Maddie!” I called out as I craned my head in the direction of the bathroom. “I need to talk to you.”
I heard her slamming doors and making the general sort of racket a person makes when they’re pissed off. Sliding my hands into my pockets, I decided to wait it out rather than get into it with her. She ignored me for a few more minutes, until at last she reappeared in her bathrobe. Her eyes looked puffy and swollen. She passed by me with a handful of wadded up tissue pressed to her nose and plopped down on the bed.
I thinned my lips as I looked at her.
“Maddie,” I began. “We need to talk.”
She nodded. “Yes. We sure as hell do.”
I paused and wrinkled my brow at her. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Uh!” she exclaimed as she lifted her arms in the air before slamming them down, palms flat on top of the mattress. “You can’t be serious, Grey!”
“What? About the sex thing?”
“Jesus Christ, Grey!” she yelled. “No, it’s not just about that. It, uh, never mind! You wouldn’t understand and you obviously don’t care, so forget it.”
I licked my lips, moistening my mouth for a response. But before I could get a word in, Maddie continued. Her eyes started to glaze over with a shine as she moved the tissue back to her face.
“D-Don’t you w-want me anymore?” she sputtered. Her shoulders started to rock back and forth as tears began to flow.