As he finished speaking an urge overwhelmed me. I almost, almost, almost threatened to go over his head. I could take this to Grey in a second and get everything back on track but that would only reveal our relationship to Trevor and everyone else. I’d gotten this job based on my ability and I didn’t want to tarnish it. If I wanted to keep working in this town, I’d have to get there on my own and like it or not, there were always going to be men like Trevor in my way.
I spun away from him, walking towards the windows of his office. Just beyond them bright sunshine glinted off the chrome and windows of vehicles crowded in the studio parking lot. I exhaled as I stared blankly, hoping a persuasive thought would come to me. But, before I could say anything, Trevor spoke once again.
“Maddie, I’m disappointed in you. All this time, you finally get the opportunity to achieve your dreams and what do you do? Completely self-sabotage the whole thing. Some things never change do they?”
Bitterness gathered in the corners of my mouth as he rambled. My fingers started to curl under, threatening to take the shape of fists.
He chuckled.
“Fuck you, Trevor.” I hissed as I glared out the window. As much as I hated to admit it, his words still hurt. Not as much as they used to but they did, nevertheless.
“Careful Maddie,” he warned. His tone carried a sinister intent. “Watch what you say to me.”
I grimaced as the skin across my knuckles tightened. “There’s a lot of things I never got to say to you that I should have.”
“Oh really?” he scoffed. “Like what? I mean, since we’re here, might as well get it all out there.”
I spun in place and focused my ire on him.
“Fine!” I exclaimed. “It’s simple, Trevor. You broke my heart. And you never even bothered, not once, since everything happened, to ask how I was. It’s like I never existed to you! Don’t you understand how terrifying it was for me to leave my family and come all this way? I worked and supported you for years while you struggled and then for you to just drop me like you did…”
He nodded as I spoke, but didn’t reply.
“I was too good of a girlfriend for you to treat me the way you did. I would have followed you anywhere, done anything to be with you. But you ruined it all with your cheating and lying and for what? Why? Were any of those girls any better than me? No! They weren’t! If they were, you’d still be with them.”
“Stop it, Maddie!” Trevor yelled as he banged his fist on the table. “Quit putting all of this on me!”
“Why, Trevor? It’s all on you! You did all of it! I’m not the one who cheated and lied. Am I?”
“No!” he fired back. “But your goddamn insecurities drove me crazy. Don’t you get that?”
“How would I ‘get that’, Trevor? When did you ever come to me? Talk to me? Tell me?”
He waved me off. “What’s the difference anymore Maddie? It’s ancient history."
And then, in that instant, I realized something. Trevor was right. As his words came to an end, I stilled myself for a moment. The pain. I couldn’t feel it any longer. And why should I? I’d won. He’d lost. In the span of a second or two, I went from wanting to go over every last detail of our breakup to not caring at all.
In fact, I almost felt sorry for him.
“You know something, Trevor? You’re absolutely right.”
Trevor frowned at me. “What?”
I shook my head. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
He shook as head as he tried to decipher the change in my demeanor. For several seconds he stared at me, wondering if I’d change my mind and begin lashing out once more. But I wouldn’t. I was over it.
As his suspicion left him, he changed the subject.
“Why did you do it, Maddie? Disappear from the movie? Not that matters anymore. Call it morbid curiosity on my part.”
“I’m not getting into my personal life with you, Trevor. You lost that privilege long ago.”
“Fine, don’t tell me,” he said, as he pushed himself up from his desk. Trevor brushed his hands together as he headed back towards his office chair. “It doesn’t matter anyway, Maddie. I’ve got the authority to keep your film on hold indefinitely. I’ve got enough in the pipeline now to put it off for a year, at least.”
“A year!” I yelled. “This is bullshit, Trevor. You’re doing this on purpose, I know it!”
He slithered into his chair and rolled towards his desk, sliding his legs under it as he did.
“Don’t flatter yourself, Maddie. It’s my call on the picture. This is a simple business decision.”