The tears flowed down her face as she went on. “I think he planned on killing me, but I told him if he contacted the American Embassy he might be able to get some money if he kept me alive. Between—” Hope’s voice cracked, but she finished, “Between assaults, he contacted them, and the embassy stalled for time. Tate’s unit was there in India. I found out later they were really close by, actually tracking this particular man because he was a well-known terrorist hiding out in India. I think they knew their best chance was to attempt a rescue because he was going to kill me either way, whether they paid money or not. Tate’s team stormed the house and killed the terrorist while I was still alive. They saved my life.” Hope sobbed and tried desperately not to remember the pure terror she had felt that day, but failed miserably.
“Tate stayed with me all the way back to the States, talking to me, trying to help me. I never saw him again after that. I never even got a chance to thank him. I was grateful to see him today, happy to get a chance to thank him for what he and his team had done for me.” Hope didn’t look at Jason. She couldn’t. “I went through two years of counseling. The military treated me for my injuries. I had to be tested for HIV at three months and again at six months, and they were negative, thank God. There was never any case to pursue. Tate killed the man who assaulted me, and I thought I was over the incident…until I saw you again. I wanted you, Jason. My body came alive with something I’ve never experienced before. It isn’t that I’m not willing. I’d like to know what it would be like to be with you. I just emotionally…can’t.” She closed her eyes.
Hope suddenly felt her entire body being lifted up, as Jason sank into the couch and lifted her onto his lap. He ran his hand over her hair and kissed her forehead. His other hand ran up and down her back soothingly. “Christ! I’m sorry, Peaches. I didn’t know. I never imagined—” His voice broke, pain and anger both evident in his tone.
Hope buried her face against his shoulder. “I’d never been with a man willingly. I’d never wanted anyone enough.”
“You were still a virgin when it happened,” Jason stated in an anguished voice. “Fuck. I wish I could dig the bastard up and kill him again.” His voice started to vibrate violently, and he buried his face in her hair. “I’m sorry, Hope…so damn sorry. I should have fucking known something was wrong. I was too tied up in my emotions to see you. And I hate myself right now for that,” he choked out, his hold on her tighter. “I hate that you went through that all alone. Goddammit! Why wasn’t I there? Why wasn’t I there for you then?” He rocked her on his lap as his body quaked with emotion.
“It wasn’t your fault.” She let him comfort her, keep her safe in his arms. She hadn’t reconnected with David then, and they hadn’t been close. It felt so good to have someone, especially Jason, finally give her solace. Even though she was reliving the horrifying experience, she felt secure in his arms. “Nobody knew. It was a top-secret mission; there were no witnesses and the Indian police never found out. Only the American Embassy and the government were involved. It was an isolated area outside of a village. It was never leaked to the media, and I was grateful for that.” It had been horrifying enough without having to deal with a media circus.
“But you needed somebody then, sweetheart. You were all alone, damn it,” he rasped as he buried his face in her hair. “I’ve been a major bastard to you, Hope. I never knew. I never knew.” He rocked her harder, his grip on her body clingy and desperate.
The agony in his voice made Hope tremble and feel the volatility of his regret. “You didn’t know. And I’m glad you’re here now. I was alone, and it was hard. It’s easier now.”
“I won’t make you stay, Hope. And I’ll never threaten you again. I’ll do anything to make this up to you.”
Her heart clenched and she threaded her hands through his hair, giving him back the comfort he gave her so readily. “I want to stay.”
“Thank fuck,” he growled protectively. “I need to be with you. I want to show you I’m not an asshole all the time.”
Hope smiled through her tears. “I know.”
“You’re not going to be alone. I’ll always be there for you from now on. Jesus, you’ve handled way too much on your own.” His body still quaked, and he still rocked her gently. “You need somebody, Hope. Let me be that man. Please.”
She didn’t just need somebody; she needed him. Instinctively, she knew that Jason was exactly what she needed. “I’m scared,” she admitted hesitantly.