"I can't believe you're worried about me. Christ, Ellie. You nearly died, and spent seven months in chains. Me getting some sleep is not a fucking priority."
She knew if she started to relive the last several months, she'd end up a mess. "Sometimes it's easier not to think about it. I'm here now. I'm alive. All because of you. I'm getting good care, and I'm awake and talking. There's no reason for you not to rest."
"I'll lie down once you sleep again. I have a feeling it won't be long."
Ellie's eyelids were already feeling heavy, but she fought the welcoming void of darkness, where she knew she'd forget what happened for the moment. "When can I go home?"
"When the doctors say it's safe," Zane said testily.
"I don't even know if I still have a home. I have no vehicle. I don't have a job." She started to hyperventilate as she thought about all she'd lost. She had been broke before she took the job with James, and she hadn't worked there long enough to even get her first check.
"Don't worry about any of that right now," Zane ordered firmly. "Everything will work itself out. You can come home with me. You won't have fully regained your strength when you leave here, and you still have injuries to heal and nutritional deficiencies."
Her chin lifted. "I can take care of myself." The last thing Ellie needed was Zane's pity.
"You're going to be stubborn after everything that's happened? You can't take a little help from friends?"
"I may not have a choice," Ellie admitted. She didn't know if her apartment was still hers, she had no source of income, and no way to even get around to apply for a job.
"As far as I'm concerned, you don't have options. I'm taking you home with me even if I have to toss you over my shoulder and drag you there. You need help, and after what happened, I don't want you out of my sight."
Friends? Were she and Zane really friends? Yeah, back in high school she would have said they were, even though she'd also been majorly infatuated with him. But she'd only seen him a handful of times since then, and they hadn't spoken much. Really, he was the brother of her best friend and just some guy she'd had a crush on in her early years of high school. He had no reason to be stuck to her like glue. Nevertheless, he obviously cared about what happened to her.
"I'm glad you're here," Ellie confessed. "I'm feeling a little lost." Actually she was feeling plenty lost, but didn't want to admit it. Since she was physically weak, the obstacles in front of her seemed overwhelming. Psychologically, she was finding herself almost incapable of not panicking about her future.
"Someday, you'll have to deal with what happened to you. But that day is not today. You need rest and you need to get well. I'll be right here. I'm not going anywhere," Zane told her tenaciously.
Ellie shuddered, dreading the time when she'd need to deal with her confinement, the memories of never knowing if the next time James came to the cabin he'd bring supplies … or just kill her off.
Feeling like she had heavy weights on her eyelids, she gave up the struggle of staying awake and closed them. "Someday," she whispered, wondering if she'd ever be strong enough to actually talk about her experiences when trying to forget seemed so much easier.
"Sleep, Ellie," Zane said in a deep, hypnotic voice, his hand reaching for hers. He clasped it tightly.
Her first instinct was to flinch away from his touch since every bit of human contact in the last seven months had led to pain. Eventually, the gentleness of his comforting gesture made her relax again. She tried to squeeze his fingers, but everything was too much effort. Taking comfort in the fact that Zane was nearby, she slept.
Ellie spent a lot of time sleeping the next few days. Her mom came to see her, and they had a very joyful but short reunion since her mother had a business to help run with her husband back in Montana. Knowing her sole parent had experienced more than her fair share of poverty in the past, the last thing Ellie wanted was for her ordeal to force her mom back into financial difficulties. Her mother still lived from day-to-day financially, never knowing how much the business was going to make that month. But Ellie was glad her mom had a warm home to sleep in, food on the table, and a husband who loved her. Her mom was finally happy, and Ellie didn't want to do anything to take away that contentment.
Aileen, the Colter matriarch, was a frequent visitor, as were Tate and Lara Colter, Chloe's youngest brother and his wife.
Chloe's sister-in-law was in the process of setting up counseling sessions for Ellie with the same therapist that she'd recommended to Chloe, a Dr. Natalie Townson. Apparently, she was one of the best psychologists in the world for women with domestic abuse issues.
Ellie wasn't sure how domestic her experience had been, but it had definitely been traumatic and violent. Even now, she could still see James's evil face, hear his harsh, brutal words pushing their way into her head, and remember his powerful blows. It was hard to close her eyes without seeing him, remembering everything. Little by little, her time as a captive was all coming back to her. The images were vivid at times, so real that she struggled to convince herself she was safe.
Sometimes she wished the memories had stayed hidden or vague within her brain, but whether she liked it or not, she was remembering. Recently, her nightmares were so intense that she woke up terrified and gasping for breath. Luckily, she'd never made much noise during her bad dreams because Zane never woke up, though he slept in the other bed in her room every single night.
Some nights, she wanted to reach out to him, but stopped herself. She'd always taken care of herself. Maybe money was tight, but she'd managed, both emotionally and physically. It was important that she get back to where she was before: a self-sufficient woman who did just fine being alone. That meant she had to learn to deal with her own issues, even the nightmares.
During the busy days of visitors and treatments at the hospital, Ellie ate just like a woman who had been deprived of food for months. Starting off slow, she'd finally progressed to solid food, and she was constantly starving. Unfortunately, the hospital food left much to be desired, but she ate every single bite, her remembered fear of going hungry and thirsty still haunting her.
Zane's constant presence was the only thing that made her feel safe. He was always around, always present. He slept in the bed next to her, his protective company easing some of the fear she felt when she woke up abruptly and was terrified. Just seeing him in a bed beside her was enough to calm herself down.
I can't cling to him. I can't get used to him being around.
She sighed as she turned off her Kindle, a gift from Zane to keep her from going stir-crazy, and set it beside the bed. Today had been quiet. Her mom had gone back to Montana, and no one had come to visit yet. Even Zane was strangely absent.
I can't expect him to sit around here and baby me forever. He's an important man with a very large company to run.
Just as the thought ran through her head, Zane came through the door, closing it behind him.
"What's that?" She nodded to the enormous bag in his arms.
"Contraband," he answered with a rare grin. "We both know hospital food sucks."
Her breath hitched as she watched a mischievous look cross his irresistibly handsome face. When Zane smiled, it was nearly infectious. At least it was for her. He was always so serious that his naughty expression made her heart skitter and warmth spread through her entire body.
Ellie watched as he pulled out several large containers of Chinese food, then some junk food, and finally a bag of her favorite specialty chocolate. He pulled paper plates from the bag and loaded one up before he placed it in front of her with plastic utensils. "Eat," he insisted as he dropped the candies next to her plate, and then pulled out a soda and opened it for her.
The smell of the Oriental cuisine made her mouth water. Chinese was her favorite. "How did you know?" He'd ordered her favorite dishes.
He hesitated before answering. "You and Chloe used to go for Chinese a lot. I figured you liked it."
"And the candy?" It was her favorite, and she didn't buy it often because it was pricey.
He shrugged. "It's chocolate, right? You like chocolate. Or at least you did when we were younger."
Ellie was convinced that it was his scientific mind that had led to a couple of very good educated guesses.
"That's my favorite, too. Thank you." Unable to wait any longer for her first decent meal in months, Ellie picked up her fork and prepared to dig into her food. "At least I won't have to feel guilty about eating a ton of carbs and chocolate."
Zane frowned at her. "Why would you feel that way at all?"