“I didn’t know you were seeing someone,” Blake said, sounding slightly wounded.
“I’m not,” Zane admitted.
“Then what’s with the books?” Marcus questioned curiously.
Zane would be damned if he’d let his brothers make him feel ridiculous because he wanted self-help books. At least he knew he needed help. Tate had been damn lucky to score a wife like Lara, and Blake and Marcus were too busy with work to worry about doing anything but screw a woman when they felt the need.
Blake thumbed through another stack on the table right beside Zane. “These yours too?” He paused before adding, “These are different—books on psychology: post-traumatic stress, emotional healing after trauma, and coping with post-traumatic stress.”
“Ellie?” Marcus guessed. “How is she doing?”
Zane could tell that Tate would have liked to keep poking at him, something the brothers did a lot, but Marcus’s question silenced his youngest brother.
Zane shrugged. “She’s doing as well as she can be considering she was beaten, held captive for months in a shithole, wondering what day James would decide to kill her, and being nearly starved to death.”
“Are you getting involved with her, Zane?” Tate asked in a more serious tone. “I’m all for her staying with you where she’s safe. I even helped make that happen. But she isn’t heal—”
“No,” Zane told his brother adamantly. “We aren’t involved. She’s my friend. I want to understand her. I want to help her,” he replied, his tone edgy, wishing to hell that was all he wanted from Ellie. But he’d be lying to himself. He wanted more someday, but mostly he wanted her to be happy.
“You did help,” Marcus answered reasonably. “You saved her life. You’re the only one who didn’t give up on her except Chloe. Still a damn miracle that she’s alive, if you ask me.”
“I didn’t ask,” Zane answered irritably. “I don’t want to talk about Ellie. She’s been through enough.”
“You like her. If you don’t, then I have to wonder about your choice of reading material,” Blake remarked with a smile.
Honestly, Zane hadn’t planned on getting so many books. But every one of them had jumped out at him as he looked through the small bookstore. “I want to understand her,” he snapped at his brothers. “I want to know what she went through, and I want to help her get through all of this. She lost her whole goddamn life, and it isn’t fair. All because of some bastard who just happened to cross her path.”
“She’s not going to heal overnight, Zane,” Blake warned. “It could take a while before she even feels partially normal again.”
Slamming the books down on the table next to the psychology books he’d selected, he crossed his arms and faced his brother. “I don’t care how long it takes. I’ll be there for her.”
“She might not be ready for a relationship right now, Zane. You saved her life and she’s going to be grateful,” Tate mused. “Her emotions are going to get all tangled up. Right now, you’re her hero.”
Zane knew his brothers were trying to protect him, but it irritated the crap out of him that they were insinuating that Ellie could never genuinely like him. “I’m not looking for a relationship right now. I’m just trying to right a wrong for a friend.”
“Then what’s with the books?” Marcus leaned his hip against the table and folded his arms in front of him. “Planning on meeting the woman of your dreams shortly?”
“Why is that any of your business?” Zane growled, not about to admit that he wanted Ellie to have the things she’d never experienced and never had. He wanted to be the man to make her feel alive again. Except he didn’t know a damn thing about romancing a woman. “I’m a science geek who spends all of his time in a lab. Maybe I need to learn something about women.”
“Just care about her like you’ve been doing. That’s all you really have to do,” Tate answered huskily, his tone making it obvious that he was thinking about his wife.
“It’s not that simple,” Zane argued in a raspy voice, wanting to make them understand, as if they could actually help him. “I care about Ellie. I always have. But I want more than I’ve had with her before. I want her more than I ever have before. Or maybe the feelings have always been there, and I just saw her as off-limits because she was Chloe’s best friend. Now, I wish I had pursued her once we were both adults. Maybe this never would have happened to her. Do you know she’s never experienced anything remotely romantic from a guy? What in the hell is wrong with men in this town? She deserves romance. It’s something she’s never experienced, and apparently something most women dream about. I want to give her everything she wants. Fuck! I know it’s too soon, but eventually I guess I’m hoping…” His voice trailed off, not sure what else to say. Hell, he didn’t even understand his actions himself. All he knew was his compulsion to make Ellie smile again, laugh again.