Once finished, he refused to let her get up from the table and help him clean up.
“You cooked. I can clean. I know how to put dishes in the dishwasher,” he insisted as he motioned her back into her chair.
She sat back down and watched as his big body moved efficiently around the kitchen. He might not be able to cook, but he made short work of loading the dishes and then starting the dishwasher.
Zane was tall and muscular, but he was naturally lithe, his body more like a runner’s than a weightlifter’s. He didn’t have a spare ounce of fat anywhere on his body, which was disappointing. Ellie would have liked to see at least a tiny flaw in Zane, something to make him seem more human. But his body was sculpted, and even with a layer of scruff on his face and his dark hair a little too long, he was damn near perfect.
With a silent, inward sigh, she knew exactly why she’d always been attracted to him. Zane was perfect, but he was an enigma, a puzzle with so many pieces she’d never quite been able to put them all together. He was kind, handsome as sin, but a little bit awkward occasionally, which was endearing considering he was so damn hot in almost every other way.
As she looked around, Ellie realized he was still disorganized, but the trait was pretty much forgivable considering he was a genius. His laser focus was generally on one thing: his work.
There were things she couldn’t quite understand…like why he’d kissed her. Why he was helping her when he could have turned that job over to his mother—or hers, for that matter. Ellie knew her mom would have stayed if she really needed her, but Zane had promised he’d take care of Ellie for her until she could come back for another visit. Convinced her daughter would be okay, her mom had gone back to Montana because she needed to work.
Zane’s protective instincts made Ellie feel safe, but they were also perplexing. She wasn’t used to having anyone who really cared about her or about what happened to her except for Chloe. He’d saved her life with his persistent nature, and Ellie was grateful, but she still didn’t understand why he hadn’t just given up like everyone else. Seven months was a long time.
She ran her hand through her hair, the action reminding her that she needed to cut much of it off to get it healthy again. It was pretty damaged. The thought depressed her because her long blonde hair was one of the only things she’d ever really liked about her appearance.
“What’s wrong? You look sad,” Zane observed as he sat back down at the table and took a slug of his soda.
“I have to cut my hair,” she answered solemnly. “It’s damaged, and to get it healthy again I’m going to have to cut most of it off.” What had taken her years to grow out healthy and long would be gone in a matter of minutes.
Zane looked puzzled. “So just get it cut. It will grow out again.”
“It’s the only thing that I ever liked about how I looked. I liked my hair.”
Ellie knew it wasn’t really the issue of her hair that was bothering her. The whole ordeal she’d suffered was starting to hit her hard, and the loss of her hair was just a symbol of everything she’d lost. Reality was starting to close in on her.
“It’s just protein filaments and dead cells, Ellie. It’s just hair,” he said in a husky voice.
“I know.” She nodded tearfully. “It’s stupid to be upset about something so superficial. I think I’m just starting to realize how much everything is going to change, how much I have to take care of and how different things will be now. I don’t have a job or a home. It’s like life moved on without me, but I’m still here. Now I’m trapped someplace between existing and not. I’m not sure where I go from here.”
Zane stood and scooped her up from the chair and carried her into her room and laid her gently on the bed. “You need to sleep. Don’t think so much. You’ll end up overwhelmed. Take one thing at a time. I can’t promise you that you’ll feel normal again tomorrow. But I promise I’ll do everything in my power to make you happy again.”
“I don’t feel normal,” she told him breathlessly, panic beginning to set in.
Zane kicked off his boots and climbed onto the big bed, gathering her up in his arms before answering, “You’ll feel normal again, Ell. I promise.”
Zane’s words were comforting, but her memories began to swamp her. Every one of them was frightening. Still, she started to talk. “Sometimes he made me beg for whatever food and water he’d brought with him. I was so hungry and thirsty that I didn’t care if I begged. Depending on what mood he was in, sometimes it was worse than others. I always knew he’d beat me up, use me as a target for whatever anger he’d stored up while smiling at everyone else. He was evil, Zane, probably the most psychotic person I’ve ever met. I started to hate myself because I was so afraid, and that I gave in to everything he wanted just to get some scraps of food and water.”