Just when I was beginning to grow numb, I heard him toss the book aside.
“Turn over,” he said.
I did.
His smile was gentler now, and he leaned down to kiss me.
“This is all just a silly game,” he whispered. “You know that, right?”
I nodded.
“If you say stop I’ll stop,” he said. “It ends. No questions, no hesitations.”
“I know.” I took a deep breath. “I trust you.”
“Good,” he said. His face changed. “Now, get yourself undressed.” He stood up, stepping away from the bed to watch me. I met his eyes as I pulled my shirt off over my head.
“Slowly,” he said.
I raised an eyebrow, sliding down off the bed with what I hoped was a smooth, sensual movement and unbuttoning my jeans. I made a show of shimmying out of them, dragging it out for much longer than I needed to. I tossed them aside, and then started on the bra, making sure my hair fell down over my ear in a very fetching way as I did so. I unclasped it, hook by hook, until it was finally undone. Then, I let it fall to the floor.
One piece left.
I hooked my thumbs in the waistband of my panties, just above my hips. I slid them down, inch by inch, making sure to turn around and give him the three hundred and sixty-five degree view.
Finally, I was naked in front of him in his own bedroom. It felt different than it had on the honeymoon. More real. He came walking towards me.
“Shameless,” he said, grabbing me by my wrists and pulling me towards him, slightly off-balance. I stumbled into his body, and made no effort to recover myself. Not that I could have, even if I’d wanted to. He was holding me far too tightly.
He made a small noise with his tongue: tsk, tsk. But he couldn’t stop himself from smiling.
“Wait here,” he said, and I stood there by the bed while he went into his closet and rummaged for a moment. I don’t know what I was expecting him to bring out, but it certainly wasn’t a length of rope. It was long and elegant, and it had been dyed a deep wine-red. He let it slide across my skin, and I shivered at the silken feel of it.
“I ought to tie you up and just leave you here,” he whispered.
I swear my heart stopped for a moment.
“But that wouldn’t be very much fun for me, would it?” he finished, and I breathed again.
He looped the rope around my wrists first, lightly; testing me. I relaxed into it, and he drew the ends tighter. Going strictly by feel, it was hard to tell exactly what he was doing, but at the end of it, my arms were bound together tightly. I could lift them a little, but they were so well attached at the wrist that I could do little else.
The rope felt stiff, like it was brand new. Had he bought it just for me, or had his last relationship exploded spectacularly before he had a chance to tie her up? Somehow, I didn’t picture any romantic entanglement of his could possibly end well.
This hadn’t been something I had fantasized about - not really. But I could see the appeal. There was a momentary panic when I first realized how immobilized I really was, how vulnerable, but I soon came to peace with it. And that feeling of calm overtook me completely, surrounding me like a warm blanket. Freed from the obligation of movement, all I could do was wait for him to touch me. Which, really, was all I wanted to do.
I stood there patiently, focusing on my breathing just like he’d taught me to do.
“Kneel on the bed,” was the next thing he said to me.
I clambered up on the mattress - awkwardly, without the use of my arms for balance - and waited there for him. I felt him kneel behind me, resting his hand on my shoulder and pushing, gently. I lost my balance completely and pitched face-first into the pillows. I managed to arrange myself so I could breathe, but I couldn’t really see him and I wasn’t sure I could get myself upright again without his help.
His hand rested on my ass. I had done such a good job focusing on my breathing until now that it was only just occurring to me what a vulnerable position I was in. On my knees, with my face in the pillows - he could see everything. I was pretty sure I’d never been this exposed to anyone before. I could feel the anxiety beginning to creep in. I exhaled, slowly.
Daniel was running his finger up the inside of my thigh. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, almost to himself, and I had a hysterical urge to laugh. What a strange thing to say, in a moment like this. It was almost like he meant it.
A moment later I heard a wrapper tear, and then I felt him pressing against me, sliding in easily until he was buried to the hilt. I groaned softly against the pillow. He felt perfect inside me - he always had. With every movement, I felt him deep inside - in the very obvious, literal sense, but also in a different way, that made my heart swell in my chest. Oh, no. This was dangerous. But not in the way I’d expected it to be.