I glanced around the guest house, pretending to think about it. Alright? It would be perfect! This place was wonderful, and then—as much as I tried not to think it—I’d be closer to Asher. If his wife left again, like he said she did often, he and I could spend more time together. Watch movies, order pizza, maybe even go to fancy Japanese restaurants. Not that I needed anything excessive, but I couldn’t imagine Asher taking me to a hotdog stand and ordering a chili dog. I would absolutely love it if he did—I’d love going anywhere with him, really—but it didn’t seem like the kind of thing a billionaire would do. I’d be perfectly happy staying in, both of us reading quietly next to each other. I could write up a book review and post it on my website and then show him after. And…
“Yes,” I said, perhaps smiling too widely. “Of course that would be fine. I actually really like it here.”
“I’d hope so,” he said with a hint of a tease in his voice. “You did refuse to leave, so there must have been a reason.”
Yes, I thought. You. But I couldn’t say that. I couldn’t tell him any of it. He must know by now, must have realized it, but because of his wife and his marriage we couldn’t talk about it. No matter what I felt, those feelings couldn’t exist.
“I’ve been thinking,” he said. His voice trailed off.
I looked at him, head tilted slightly to the side. “Yes?”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell Beatrice about what happened,” he said.
“Oh.”
“Not that I agree with what we did or accept it. It can’t happen again, please understand that. But I think it would complicate matters. Needlessly. Do you understand? I don’t… Jessika, I really don’t want you to think that I’m trying to excuse what happened. I just think it would be best if we both understood what happened won’t happen again, and press forward. Are you alright with that?”
“Well, I certainly don’t want to tell her, so I’m fine with it!” I said, teasing. He looked so serious, and I understood why, but I thought adding a little lightheartedness to the conversation might help.
“Me either!” he said, grinning. He became solemn again and added, “But, I would. If I thought it would help, and if I absolutely needed to, then I would tell her without a moment’s hesitation. I’m not trying to make excuses, but I really think it won’t be necessary, though. We’re both adults and we should be able to understand that and act responsibly.”
“Yes.” I nodded. “Of course.”
Responsibly, I thought, which did not include secretly giving Asher a blowjob while he slept. Granted, he shouldn’t have gotten me off on his meeting room table in his office, and I shouldn’t have seduced him into having sex with me during our photography session and he shouldn’t have…
We probably shouldn’t have done a lot of things. We probably shouldn’t even be in the same room together now, nor should we discuss not telling his wife about anything, but we were and it seemed like he had come to some internal decision about all of it, with personal and valid reasoning. I could go along with it.
I didn’t really want to go along with it, but what could I do? I wasn’t a home-wrecker and I refused to become one. I was, of course, rationalizing this right now, too. Asher didn’t want to tell his wife about his infidelity and I didn’t want to tell Asher that I wanted him to strip me down, drag me to the shower, and have slippery wet, soapy sex with me, so it seemed we were on even ground.
I was, perhaps, a horrible person, but I tried not to think about it.
He helped me do that with what he said next. “Dinner will be soon. Beatrice is freshening up. I asked Jeremy to find some clothes for you, so they should be in the closet in the master bedroom upstairs. I don’t know what he bought, but I told him to find a good assortment so you’d have a few choices.”#p#分页标题#e#
“Asher…” I started to say.
He stopped me by placing a finger on my lips. “Shh. I’m going to shower and change for dinner. Whatever you want to wear will be fine. Come to the front door of the main house once you’re ready. I’ll tell Jeremy to wait for you and he can show you to the dining room.”
Asher lifted my hand up and before I knew it he kissed the back of it. His lips, soft and supple, pressed against my knuckles and I nearly melted. So small, nothing of any real meaning. His fingers holding mine, touching lightly against my palm. Slight moisture from his lips leaving an imprint on my skin. Then he hugged me tight and I hugged him back, squeezing. I didn’t want to let go of him, but he managed to escape my embrace and walk away. To the door, opening it, outside, and…