Asher was kind. He was aloof and dominant and sometimes too aggressive. I don’t think he knew exactly what he wanted in his life, even if he had precise control over everything regarding his career and his finances. He was quiet and isolated and the sort of person who preferred curling up in his private library with a good book over attending fancy parties and showing himself off to the general public. He was a lot of things that a lot of people probably wouldn’t like, but he was everything that I wanted.
I desired him beyond belief. His touch, himself, his warmth and his body pressing against me as he whispered words of adoration into my ear.
Unfortunately it was not to be. I knew this, and he’d said it, and despite the fact that we’d gone against it and I’d made him feel terrible about cheating on his wife, I knew it couldn’t happen again. I understood that and I told myself to let it go, but some part of me refused to accept it. A passing fancy, something stuck into my head that would come loose over time, dislodge, and vanish as quickly as it appeared. Whim, pure fantasy, and nothing more.
That’s what I told myself, but I didn’t believe that, either.
…
“Jeremy,” Asher said, seeing his driver hastily walking through the main house foyer and heading to the front door. “A word?”
Jeremy paused, looking as if he needed to decide whether he was going to keep going or listen to the man who paid his salary. “Hey, Asher,” he said, reluctant. “Is everything alright?”
“No,” Asher said. “Not particularly. There’s an annoying, ridiculously stubborn, absolutely infuriating woman in my guest home, and I’m not sure why she’s still there.”
“Oh,” Jeremy said, face turning red. “Right. I don’t know?”
“I think you do,” Asher said.
“You, uh… did she…?”
Asher fully suspected Jeremy knew exactly why Jessika was still in his guest house. He’d asked the man to drive her home early that morning, and was surprised to hear she’d refused to leave. Except, why would she do that? Jessika didn’t seem the sort to take risks like that; not unless she knew it would pay off. True, he didn’t know her that well, but from what he did know she was respectful with a slight feisty streak.
Except, how feisty? Enough to refuse to leave, and enough to go around his guest home and mess the place up. Not a huge mess, nothing more than superficial dirtiness, but still. And, my God, she’d admitted to masturbating in his bathtub while he was away. Granted, he’d been easing away her aroused distraction at the time, pulling her clothes off and pushing her panties to the side so he could…
Had he needed to do that? In his mind, he rationalized their behavior. Jessika was something else entirely, and he needed to prove to her that he wasn’t a pushover. She was no ordinary woman, no matter what she thought of herself. But, had he wanted to do what he did? That was a dangerous question and best left unanswered.
He wanted so much and he knew he couldn’t have it. Why dwell on the unattainable?
“I’m sorry about the hassle,” Jeremy said. He was apologizing now, and Asher realized he must have been at it for awhile. “The thing is, she didn’t want to leave, and I might have told her that you probably wouldn’t force the issue. I don’t remember the exact details. And…”
“It’s fine,” Asher said, grinning. “I just wanted to harass you. Actually, I was about to order pizza for her and I. Can you go pick it up?”
“Oh,” Jeremy said, standing there with his mouth open, looking like a hooked fish.
After a moment’s pause, Asher said, “Well?”
“Yes. Um, yeah? You sure? Is everything… good? What kind of pizza are you getting?”
“Ham and mushrooms, light on the cheese. Also another with chicken, feta cheese, tomatoes, and onions.”
“Oh. George’s place?”
“The Arcadia, yes.”
“Sure, I can go. I don’t have anything else to do. Was just going to…”
“For someone who has nothing to do, you sure looked like you were in a hurry to leave before,” Asher observed.
Jeremy stumbled for something to say. Yes, Asher decided, he’d definitely influenced Jessika’s decision to stay. Asher wondered whether he should reprimand him or thank him.
Probably both.
…
I lazed on the couch in Asher’s guest home. My head resting on an overstuffed pillow, I gazed up at the ceiling. I felt giddy, like a school girl, like my crush had invited me to his house to study for an upcoming test and once I got there he told me that his parents would be away for the weekend. The point of going was, of course, the studying, but there was always that allure, hiding, of something more. A kiss, a peck, a touch of hands as we took a break and watched a movie and both grabbed for the same piece of popcorn from the snack bowl. Anything, just the smallest, most simplest of things, transformed into so much more.