“Hey, watch it, will you?” says the woman with the pixie hairdo seated there, clearly annoyed.
“Sorry, so sorry.” Sam picks herself up and half-clambers, half-limps to the amused Cassie. “Oh,” she groans, “I’m such a klutz.”
“You always were a klutz. It’s part of your charm.” Cassie pulls her coffee mug away discreetly from Sam as the latter sits, juddering the table and sploshing coffee over the rim.
“Yeah, it’s charming when I was fourteen. And even then, not really.” Sam shudders. “Remember how we were when we were in middle school? I wore braces and I kept getting my lunch stuck in my buck teeth.”
“I remember that awful Brian Morton. He was such a bully. Remember how he used to draw funny caricatures of you with your braces all over the lockers? He called you ‘Jaws’.”
“I’m going to expunge that dirty memory forever from my temporal lobes.” Sam runs a careless hand through her mess of hair. “I’m sorry I’m late anyway. My boss wanted me to go over the Killeney account for the seventeenth time. She’s such an anal retentive like you wouldn’t believe.”
“All work and no play makes Sammy a tight ass like she never wants to be. You’re on track for it, you know.” Cassie signals a passing waiter. “Can we have the menu, please, like yesterday?”
“I have to. I’ve got no one else but me. If I want to live the American dream and get that American dream apartment in Soho, I’m going to have to put my nose on the grindstone for it.”
“Or you could marry someone rich and get the American dream handed to you on a china plate, which is probably made in Taiwan.” Cassie arches her eyebrows meaningfully.
“I’m never getting married.”
“You know it’s not true.”
“It’s true. I’m twenty-seven and I’ve been in three failed relationships. I’ve gotten majorly dumped three times, and the third is by a man who decided he was gay after dating me for two months. That’s got to be a record. Anyway, it isn’t PC to want a man to get those things for you. The only person you can rely upon – ”
“ – is you,” they chorus together.
“Hey, you’re finishing my sentences,” Sam complains.
“Only because you’ve said it like a gazillion times.”
“I have not.”
“You have too.”
“I’m not a nag.” At that moment, the strains of Usher stream from Sam’s monogrammed Coach purse. She groans. “If it’s the office, I’m going to scream.”
“Then don’t get it.”
But Sam has already dived into her purse to fish out her Samsung Galaxy Ace. She holds the cellphone up and makes a face at the display.
“It’s Lori, would you believe? She never calls me unless she wants money or to crow over me for not having a guy.”
“Lori, your slutty gangbang fest of a sister?”
“Ssssssh. She does not too have gangbangs.”
Sam picks up the phone and says into it, “Don’t tell me… Mom’s got a new boyfriend.”
Cassie crosses her eyes. Sam shoots her an evil look.
“Uh huh. Uh huh. What? Oh? Shit, no fucking way! You mean you are really going to get married? But you’re only twenty-two!”
Cassie mouths incredulously: For real? Slut Lori is gonna get married?
“Twenty-two is not over the hill. How can you even think that? You’re barely out of college. Uh huh. Well, look at me. I’ve twenty-seven and I’m not married.” Pause. “Twenty-seven is not geriatric and prostate problems are only for men, for crying out loud.”
Cassie stifles a giggle.
Sam mouths back: If you’re gonna make fun of me, I’ll kill you.
“The engagement party is this weekend? Thanks for telling me three days in advance.” Pause. “Well, I’m your sister, I think I deserve to know a little earlier if that’s OK with you.” Pause. “Uh huh. Don’t you think you’re rushing things a bit? You’re not pregnant, are you?”
Cassie makes a blowing sound.#p#分页标题#e#
Sam mouths: Shut up.
“No, for the last time, I’m not going through menopause, Lori. Why do you always have to exaggerate everything to put me down? Well, yeah, Mom always did love you best but that doesn’t give you a right … no, no, don’t even go there. I do too have boyfriends!”
Cassie bares her teeth.
“Well, I do have a boyfriend. We are practically getting married. Oh yes.” Sam nods to convince herself. “Bring him to your engagement party this weekend? Well, no, he can’t. He’s going to Tokyo. He’s a high-powered executive and he jet-sets to places like Tokyo every other week.”