“I’m ruining all of your handkerchiefs,” Brynn said, a noise between a laugh and a sob escaping her throat as she pressed the fabric to her face. He waited until she had wiped her nose dry. She stood before him so sorrowful and proud that if he had not fallen headlong for her already he would have done so again in an instant. Her eyes shone brightly underneath a glaze of tears, her hair damp and wavy, stuck to her cheeks in places. Eliot felt the last of his resolve melt away as he looked at her.
“I’m not leaving, Brynn,” he said. Inside his mind he heard the gates drop, letting himself open up. He took her hand in his. “Please. The doctor said that you need rest.”
Brynn sat down on the edge of the bed, her hand trembling under his.
“You won’t leave?”
“No.” Eliot sighed in relief as Brynn tucked her legs up back under the blankets. She spent a few seconds arranging the pillows behind her, then leaned back.
“Okay, see? I’m resting.”
“I don’t see your eyes closed.”
“Are you really staying here?”
“Yes. I’ll be right here.”
“Eliot?” The way she said his name sent shivers through his arms, his hands. He longed to take her up passionately and kiss every piece of her, every last beautiful part, every crease and curve. Instead he sat down on the edge of the bed beside her and clasped his hands on his lap.
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry.” As Eliot looked up toward her another flood of tears brimmed her eyes and spilled over. She had the handkerchief to her face. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have gone off, you said it was dangerous and I didn’t listen, I—” She choked on the last word and wiped her nose again between sobs.
“No,” Eliot said, over and over as she talked. “No, no, no. Brynn, no. This isn’t your fault, not ever.”
“But I—”
“You didn’t do anything wrong. Listen. You did nothing wrong.”
“If something had happened…” Brynn’s voice trailed off into an awful silence during which Eliot felt the adrenaline of anger rush through him.
“You’re going to be okay,” Eliot said. “That’s all that matters.”
“Yes. Okay.” Brynn closed her eyes, her brows furrowed, and Eliot couldn’t bring himself to imagine what nightmares must be going through her mind.
Silence filled the bedroom, and Eliot thought Brynn might have dozed off. But when he rose from the bed, her eyes snapped open.
“Eliot? Can you bring me my math stuff? So I can do the problem?”
“You really want to work on math?” Eliot raised his eyebrows.
“Yes,” she said firmly. “It will take my mind off of everything.”
“Then we can work together,” he said. “I’ll bring your notebook.”
“Eliot?”
“Yes?”
“Why are you staying?”
He leaned over and caressed her forehead, his hand pressing back her hair.
“So that I can keep working with such a brilliant mathematician.”
“No. Really.”
Eliot considered the question. He hadn’t thought about it, but the second he knew Brynn was in danger, it was like a switch had flipped in his mind. Nothing else mattered. Nothing but her. Any obstacle between them was only an illusion, something put there by the world to make him lose sight of what he cared about. In the middle of the night, he had known that he would not be able to leave her side until he was sure she would be okay without him. And even then…
“Really?” he asked.
“Really.”
The gate was down, his past worries forgotten. All that mattered was Brynn, right now. She looked up at him expectantly.
“I’m staying because I love you.”
Brynn’s mouth dropped open slightly, her pink lips parted in disbelief.
“I’ll get you that notebook,” Eliot said. He stood and left before she could say a word.
He loved me.
It wasn’t a dream anymore, not another fantasy I had imagined in my head. He said that he loved me, and meant it. Air stopped moving through my chest; I had forgotten how to breathe.
He came back with a notebook I took carefully in my hand. His eyes were kind, and despite the horror of the past day I trusted him to keep me safe. He looked at me as though he expected me to say something, but I turned my head down to the mathematics. I did not want to break the delicate bond that had stretched out between us by talking about it too much. In any case, I did not know what to say.#p#分页标题#e#
We worked for an hour, and then he fixed me breakfast. As I waited for him to return, my chest tightened with fright and did not relax until he came back into the room. I could not eat very much, only a bit of bread and honey. The honey tasted sickeningly sweet in my mouth, and I gulped down water to relieve the stickiness of it.