They say time heals all wounds, but not always. Sometimes wounds pucker over and leave scars, and sometimes they heal silently and secretly, so that only one person knows the hurt was ever there. Sometimes they fester until another person comes along to cut out the rot, and then they bleed clean and fresh again.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Eliot didn’t respond to anything I said, and the meeting at the academy with Mark was brief and awkward. I sat on the other side of the table and listened as Eliot explained a number of different options we had to explore now that we had broken through the solution to the first, specific case. Occasionally he would glance up at Mark, but never at me.
Then he left, and Mark and I were alone in the university library. I began to gather up the papers to go, but Mark put his hand on my arm.
“Brynn?”
I turned to see him only inches away from me, his body so near mine that I could feel his breath on my skin.
“Mark—”
“I need to talk with you.” His face was so serious that I almost laughed out of sheer nervousness.
“About what?”
“Come on, Brynn, you know about what.” He leaned in as if to kiss me, and I stepped back.
A lump rose in my throat and I coughed. I didn’t want to do this to Mark. He had been one of the best and closest friends I’d ever had. But I didn’t feel the same way towards him, and he deserved to know that.
“Mark,” I said carefully. “I don’t think we should go any further with this.”
His face dropped into a mask of apathy. He only looked like this when it hurt, I could tell. “Why?”
“I just— I don’t feel that way towards you.”
“You kissed me back. Last night.” His voice pleaded with me, and his careful mask began to crack.
“I’m sorry, Mark. I was excited about the problem. We both were.”
“But I thought…look, Brynn, I know we could be a good couple.”
“Mark, don’t.”
He forged ahead with the words that I’m sure he’d been practicing all last night. “I really think there’s something between us, Brynn. I’ve always felt it. You’re so special to me, and you always have been. Just give me a chance to be that person for you, too.”
“Mark—”
“Don’t do this,” he said, his voice cracking. “Please, Brynn, don’t throw this away without a shot.”
“I’m not throwing anything away. I just don’t think we should be together. Not like that.”
Mark paused, his brow furrowed deeply. He looked tortured, and I wished that there was something I could do to console him. But any kindness I had in me was safely tamped down. If there was one thing I didn’t want, it was to send mixed messages. No more hugs. No more shared smiles. No more anything for a while.
“I don’t understand it.” His voice turned hard, and he looked away from me. I didn’t know what to say, so I just stood there, waiting.
“I don’t understand. Do you just not care about me?” His eyes flashed dark and accusing at me.
“I care about you a lot, Mark. Just not in that way.”
“So what?” He threw his hands up in the air angrily. “Are you going to pine forever for him?”
“Who?” My face turned hot as I realized what he was saying.
“You know who I’m talking about. You light up whenever Herceg comes into the room.”
“So?” Was it that obvious?#p#分页标题#e#
“He’s a professor, Brynn.”
“So?” I shuffled the papers again in my hands, trying not to admit what Mark already knew. That’s not the least of it, I thought. He’s also a prince and heir to a fortune. He lives in a castle, for god’s sake.
“So you think he would care about some dumb student?”
“No!” I threw the papers down onto the desk, and tears sprang to my eyes. “I know that! Of course he doesn’t care! That’s not the point, Mark!” Fury raged in me. He had no right to talk about Eliot in that way. I had never heard him speak so bluntly, so meanly.
“What’s the point?” he said.
“I don’t feel that way about you, and that’s all there is to it.” A frisson of energy crackled between us, and I could see that things wouldn’t go back to normal anytime soon. If ever.
“Okay.” Mark stacked my scattered papers together and pushed them back towards me on the table. “I’m sorry.”
I saw the rejection ripple through him and sag his limbs, but I couldn’t do anything. Sorrow ran through my, but I couldn’t fix this thing between us right now.
“Me, too,” I said.