Gillian smiled softly, and she hugged her friend. “I’m here for you. Remember that.”
Rae smiled, and then she began to cry, as she so often did.
5
The premiere of When Love Speaks was another point on the long list of things Rae had never thought she would experience. There was a red carpet, and she was let out of a limo along with Gillian, her plus one. They posed for pictures, smiling and laughing, intent of having a good time. There was a group where people stood, simply fans of movies, or fans of celebrities. Some of them called Rae’s name, and it was shocking, but it delighted her. She went to see them, the normal people, and she felt terrible that she thought of them that way. She signed anything they pressed into her hand, and she leaned close to the railing that separated them from her, smiling into cell phone after cell phone as she took thirty selfies. They neared the historic theater where the premier was taking place, and Rae froze in her tracks. There was Casey, smiling with Amelia Stevens, who was dressed as nicely as Rae was, and who looked a little bored. She had done a premier a hundred times. She wasn’t excited anymore, but Rae was sure she had been once.
Seeing Casey brought a painful twinge to Rae’s chest, as if her heart was literally breaking. He saw her, his eyes flickering over to her, but then the people taking pictures were calling his name, and he was smiling again and looking at them. Bright bulbs flashed.
“Rae, go have a picture with your co-stars,” one man with a camera yelled out after noticing her. Rae forced a smile on her face, and went to do so. She stood next to Amelia, pointedly putting her between Casey and herself. But the older actress soon tired of the charade, and she smiled to Rae.
“He’s all yours, sweetie,” she said, and she headed into the theater. Rae hesitated, but Casey moved over and put his arm around her, smiling for the camera men as they took a hundred photos. Rae smiled too, but she wasn’t sure how she was managing to. She put a hand protectively on her stomach as the bright lights blinded her.
“Are you two still together?” one man asked. “No one has seen you together in months!”
Rae didn’t want to answer him, was going to ignore him, but Casey stepped forward, and he held his hands up.
“I’d like to address that head-on,” he said, and the cameras stopped clicking. Some nearby reporters hurried over and held digital voice recorders up. A camera crew and reporter from television hurried up as well.
The months I’ve spent with Rae Coleman have been the greatest months of my life,” Casey said, and Rae didn’t know what to think. Was he going to lie about their relationship? Why was he so concerned what people thought about him? The man went on, and she listened.
“I have to say, I can get caught up in all of this,” Casey said. “There're all of these rules; there’s all of these things. Focus groups tell us what they like in movies, and what they don’t. I get hung up on them, and I think about them in real life. Everything I do is scrutinized. It’s exhausting, but it’s part of the game. It’s what I do, and it’s what affords me a privileged life. So I do it.”
Rae looked over to Gillian, who held up her hands in an exaggerated shrug, and Casey went on.
“I’ve dated a million girls. Most of them young, all of them beautiful, and they all meant something to me. But never like this. Never like this woman standing next to me. She’s smart, she’s funny, she’s insanely talented. I’ve done this for a long time, and when someone comes in, so young and fresh, and she can teach you something about what you do, you take notice. You're about to see that in this film tonight.”
Rae didn’t know what to think. Was he buttering her up? Trying to get her to take him back? She didn’t want him back, not like that. She wanted him to own up to it all, she wanted him to be a father.
Casey continued. “What I’m ashamed of is how I’ve acted recently. After I learned that Miss Coleman was pregnant.”
There was an audible gasp from the gathered crowd, and Rae thought it was like something out of a movie.
“She told me she was pregnant, and I didn’t step up. I’m an idiot, because I lost her. I was worried about those focus groups. I was worried I would be done. Women, they have this idea that I’m available, it’s fine if I date, but to Michelle in Michigan, I could be hers. When she watches one of my movies, I am hers. But if I’m a dad. If I have a wife… she can’t do that. Well I realize now, that sorry to Michelle from Michigan, but I don’t care. I want to be a dad, and I want to have a wife, and Rae, I have to ask you….” Casey said, trailing off and turning towards her. He pulled something small out of his pocket, and she saw it was a box. He knelt on one knee, and opened the lid of the box. Inside was the most beautiful engagement ring she had ever seen.