I walked slowly toward the backyard holding the ball. I had no confidence in my ability to throw the ball. I was athletic, yes, but that didn’t mean I was competent at throwing footballs.
“Almost there,” John said with a crooked smile.
He jogged over and held out a hand, into which I deposited the ball. I looked around briefly and realized that everything was normal. Nobody was actually staring at all; maybe I had it all in my head. I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Thanks,” he said.
I had never been this close to him. Those eyes that I found so dizzying before were swallowing me. Everything seemed to be in slow motion as I took in every detail of his face. I lost myself in the moment and only found myself when he turned around to leave.
“I like your eyes,” I blurted out.
In my embarrassment, I immediately threw my hands up to cover my mouth. He stopped in his tracks, and I could already see the other football players trying to stifle their laughter but failing miserably. He turned back to me.
“Thanks?” he replied and jogged off.
I had never walked so fast in my life when I left. I had brought a jacket, but I didn’t want to take the time to find it, I just needed to be anywhere but here.
I really regretted leaving my jacket behind after I found myself three blocks down the road. I slowed to a stop and let out a sigh. The street was illuminated by the circles of light beaming from the overhead street lamps.
The silence gave me a second to think, and that was the problem.
2.
“Craig, get you stuff, we’re having lunch,” I said to Craig over the phone.
I wanted to invite more people than Craig, but he was one of the few people that understood what I was going through. I tried calling my girlfriends first, but none of them seemed interested in meeting today. While I wasn’t the boss of Craig; he was the most open to getting together.
The cries of regret echoed heavily in my head. I kept reliving my stupid moment from the other night. I wondered what I should have done instead; possibilities cycled endlessly as I focused on my blunder.
We met at a diner that I always enjoyed, partially because the food was decent, and partially because it was close enough to the practice field that I could watch the football players as I ate.
“Took you long enough,” I chided at Craig.
“I heard about your lucky night, Tess. I’m almost a little sad that I missed out,” he replied.
I went flush with embarrassment, and he just laughed.
“Who told you, already?”
“What does that matter,” he asked.
“I want to know who I have to kill later,” I replied angrily.
“Then it’s probably best I not say anything at all,” he laughed.
I sat there, defeated, with my head resting in my hands at the table. Rumors travel fast, especially around school campuses.
I looked to the field nearby. The players were running sprints and out in front of them, wearing a number I was far too familiar with, was John.
“Seriously, it’s not as bad as you think, Tess.”
“Your words of comfort are reassuring,” I said sarcastically.
“Hey, look at the bright side. At least you talked with the guy,” he said.
“I don’t know if this counts.”
The team on the field broke up and started running plays. I watched in earnest and more than a little heartache. I continued to dwell on the chance I missed, replaying it mercilessly in my head. Even spending time with my best friend wasn’t taking away my frustration with myself.
Craig took my hand from the table and held it tightly. He was doing his best to reassure me, but I wasn’t in the mood to accept.
“Jane called me last night,” he said.
I perked up.
“When? I thought she was busy with that player,” I questioned.
“It was almost three in the morning. I guess the guy she spent the night with was only trying to make his ex-girlfriend jealous. So I gave her a ride home. Really Tess, who does something like that? You hurt a good person’s feelings just to get back with someone that broke your heart. That’s not how good relationships work.”
I sympathized. Not that I had ever been in either position, but I could understand the frustration and pain; the pain of being the right girl at the wrong time.
“Wait, did Jane tell you about last night?” I asked.
Craig nodded with a smile.
“She even kissed me goodnight,” he said.
“See? Maybe she really does like you. You should ask her out soon,” I said.
“I don’t want to get ahead of myself. I am pretty sure that asking someone out right after they were used, as she was, would make for a bad start to a relationship. I’m going to wait a little while,”