He tried to hide a downtrodden look with a smile. I caught a glimmer of sadness brush past his face.
“You’re not the kind of person I can just be ‘friends’ with,” he started, “you’re a great woman.”
I laughed.
“I didn’t even know we were friends already.”
He leaned back in his chair, returning to the cocky man that I’d started to know.
“I think we’re something better than that,” he said.
“Oh?”
“But, I think you’ll need to figure that one out,” he added.
He had his charms, and they were incredibly hard to deny. But, I didn’t really see a future with him. It was as though I was looking at a beautiful possibility that I knew wouldn’t last. He was too carefree; seeming to lack even a shred of dependability.
“I think we’re friends, Chris,” I said.
He looked disappointed as I said it. I barely even knew the guy, he just sort of fell into my lap; probably a little too literally.
“Well, would you like to at least go for a drive for a while? Maybe take your mind off school?” he said.
“I suppose,” I said, figuring I could use the distraction.
He pulled me out the door with him. I probably should have said no, I didn’t want to get his hopes up. But, I couldn’t help but say yes to such a simple request.
We drove for a while, talking about life and other random things that went along with it. I vented more than I thought I would, mostly about Brad. But, I think I spent more time trying to sum up my frustrations about graduation and my path in life.
I couldn’t tell if he was listening at times, but he always had something to add to the conversation. I started feeling a little guilty that I spent so much time rambling about my own problems.
“So, why did you call me out for coffee like this,” I asked.
“I’m nervous,” he replied.
“You, nervous? About what?” I asked, surprised.
“There were some talent scouts at the last game a couple of nights back. I heard they were watching me pretty intently. I worked my hardest, even running in a few plays on my own. Not to be a show-off, but I did want to give them a good show.”
“That’s great news!” I said.
“They’re supposed to be calling today. This could be my shot at going pro,” he said, his voice wavering just a tad.
I could see how much this meant for him; he wore it on his face as though it were a mask.
Then his phone started to ring. He calmly pulled the truck over and pulled it from his pocket. I only heard one side of the conversation. Mostly just ‘yeah’ and ‘uh huh’, but I could see the news wasn’t good.
His hands shook as he clicked off the conversation without a goodbye. Without a word, he returned to driving. I wanted to ask him what got him so worked up. He didn’t seem interested in talking.
“Do you want to talk about it,” I asked.
He slowed the truck down and pulled over to the side of the road. Once we stopped, he jerked the keys from the ignition and stepped out.
I followed along, hopping down to join him. We had stopped at what would normally be a sight to behold. But, while we both stared out at it, I was the only one enjoying it for the sights.
He hid his emotions as best he could, but it’s hard to hide depressing news.
“That was the coach. He got a call today,” Chris said.
“Yeah, what did they say,” I asked.
“The agents called, and they don’t like my attitude, whatever that means.”
“What did they say exactly,” I asked.
“They said I wasn’t a team player,” he replied, “among other things.”
“Well, maybe you can just work harder and working with your team, instead of trying to win all the games by yourself. You said it yourself; you don’t rely on them as much as you should.”
He sighed. It was a heavy, emotional sigh. I maneuvered in and gave him a hug. He looked at me, somehow wondering what I was doing, but accepting it all the same.
“Thanks,” he said.
“Don’t mention it,” I replied.
“Is this what you mean about having someone you can cozy up next to,” he asked.
I nodded.
“I wonder what else I’ve been missing,” he said.
We stood there, arms wrapped together, for what seemed like hours. I watched the clouds crawl overhead, and soaked in the autumn air.
It wasn’t until the sun began to creep over the horizon that we both planted ourselves back in the truck. Chris looked like he’d been drained, emotionally.
Once we were back in the truck, he started leaning towards me, begging for a kiss. I met his lips with my fingers.
“Don’t confuse a caring friend with a lover, Chris. Let’s just get back to town,” I said.