I shifted from foot to foot and fixed my tie. She had been asking the same question for the past few days, and I could tell she was getting antsy. As much I tried to hide my hesitation, I knew she could see right through it.
We had talked about my fear of losing her father’s friendship a bunch of times, and though she had assured me that she would have my back and not allow Alex to turn on me, I still hadn’t been able to tell him the truth. As understanding of the whole situation as Amelia was, I could tell that it was making her question whether or not I was actually committed to her and our baby. I hated that I was making her feel insecure, because there wasn’t a single question in my mind about how much I wanted both of them.
“I have a meeting with him this morning. I’ll tell then,” I said, holding her hand. Amelia raised a challenging brow that made me let out a nervous chuckle. “I will, I promise. I’ll get him a nice cup of coffee and get it out in the open.”
He tilted her head. “You do know that caffeine makes my dad grumpier, right?”
“I’ll give him a scotch then.” I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close.
Amelia laughed. “That’s better, though a.m. drinking may not be the route to prove you’ll be a good father to his grandson.” Her words filled me with a new wave of panic, and my face must have given me away, because she laughed again and kissed my lips. “I’m sorry; I was just kidding. Relax! He already loves you, and he’ll continue to love you because you’re going to do right by our son and me. He may get mad and yell, but he’s not going to hurt you, and he will forgive you. He’s forgiven me, and I’m his screw-up daughter.”
Amelia’s words made me feel a little better. I leaned down and rested my forehead against hers. “It’ll be okay?”
“Yes, it will,” she assured me once again.
I nodded and kissed her once more. As I pulled back, Jo’s voice announcing that Alex had just arrived echoed through my office. I looked Amelia in the eyes and she smiled.
“Go get him, tiger,” she urged, taking the folder I needed from my desk and handing it to me. I chuckled, patted her stomach, and kissed her one final time before walking to the door.
My heart was lodged in my throat as I approached Alex’s office. I felt like a kid going to the principal’s office, which was ridiculous since I was forty years old.
I stood outside his door and took a deep breath. After one single knock, I pushed it open and walked inside. Alex was sitting behind his desk, reading contracts and drinking something from a Starbucks cup. Crap!
Completely ignorant of the fact that I was about to drop a nuke on his head, Alex greeted me with a smile. “Morning, Kellan.”
“Good morning.” I took a seat in front of him and placed the folder to the side. I had to do this now or I’d chicken out again. “I know we have business to discuss, but there’s something I need to tell you first.”
Alex frowned at the seriousness of my tone and nodded. He closed the file containing the contracts he was reading and placed his reading glasses to the side. A lump formed in my throat when I realized I had his undivided attention.
“It’s about Amelia,” I blurted out.
At once, Alex’s features conveyed worry. “Is she all right? Did something happen?”
“No,” I said with a shake of my head. Feeling like a moron for starting this all wrong, I ran a hand through my hair and tried again. “Amelia is fine. Actually, she’s great. But she’s pregnant.”
Alex raised a brow. “Yes, Kellan. I’m aware of that.”
I knew what I had to say next. What I didn't know was if I had the strength to say it. A desperate desire to stand up and leave washed over me. As much as I wanted to be different than my father, I finally understood why he had taken the route he had. Being shitty was a lot easier than being decent.
However, at that moment, I realized something important. I wasn’t about to hurt my best friend with the worst truth he would ever hear because I wanted to be decent. I didn’t give a crap about that. I was doing this because I couldn’t imagine Amelia and our son living a life that didn’t include me, and I didn’t want to imagine my life without them.
Fueled by that realization, I took a deep breath, cleared my throat, and grew a little taller in my spine. “It’s my baby.”
“Excuse me?” Alex asked.
“I said that Amelia is carrying my child,” I said a little louder.
The room filled with a thick blanket of tense silence as the comfortable warmth shared between friends disappeared. The fire of hell burned in Alex’s eyes as he stared deep into my own. I wanted to look away, but I knew I couldn’t. I wanted him to see me as someone worthy of his daughter and not a coward.