Billionaire Flawed 1(19)

“Surprisingly, yes,” he said, folding his paper to give me his full attention. He nodded toward the kitchen and added, “There’s food in there. You can have whatever you want. Though I have to warn you that I drank all the coffee.”

I chuckled as I got up. “That’s all right. Caffeine isn’t good for the baby anyway.”

Inside his fridge, I found some orange juice as well as bread and fixings for a nice sandwich. It wasn’t my typical breakfast, but after months of not even being able to look at food in the mornings, I was excited to have a feast. Once my sandwich was ready, I carried it and a glass of juice toward the table.

Kellan’s face beamed at my plate. “Hungry?”

“Oh, my god, yes!” I said a bit more emphatically than expected, making both of us laugh. Once our chuckles died, I cleared my throat and decided that now was as good time as any to say what I needed to say to Kellan.

“I’m sorry about what I said last night,” I started. “I was insensitive and out of line. I just . . . I just think you’d make a great father. I can’t help but feel sad that you and the little guy here will miss out on having a relationship with each her, but I won’t nag you about it anymore. I promise.”

He was silent for a long time, and understanding that the conversational part of the morning was over, I focused on my breakfast. Although I kept my eyes focused on everything but him, I could feel Kellan’s gaze on me as I ate. It was unnerving and exhilarating.

I was almost done with my sandwich when he spoke. “Can I ask you a question?”

“You just did,” I pointed out. Kellan rolled his eyes at my smart-ass reply, so I added, “Go ahead.”

He took a deep breath and said, “Why did you choose me that day at the show?”

My heart raced at his question. “You’ve already asked me that.”

“I know.” He nodded and added, “But you never answered it.”

“No, I didn’t.”

For a couple of minutes, my words hung between us. My heart pounded in my chest, and I could tell by his heavy breathing that Kellan was anxious as well. I had no idea why, though. He wasn’t the one about to completely humiliate himself. I was.

Briefly taken by self-preservation, I considered lying but decided against it. He had been honest with me about his past, and I owed him honesty in return.

After a long breath, I started. “I didn’t choose you that day, Kellan. I’ve been in love with you since I was sixteen.”

Kellan’s eyes widened, but he didn’t say anything, so I continued. “At that age, I vowed that you’d be my first. Looking back, I can see that it was stupid to make such a major decision based on a crush, but I saw you as this perfect man on a pedestal, and no one could ever reach you. In my teenage mind, it made sense.

“As I got older, my feelings for you grew to the point where I’d go on dates and imagine you were the boy sitting across from me. I’d kiss guys and imagine I was kissing you. You were every man I flirted with and the only one I desired, so I continued to save myself for you even when it stopped making sense.”

Embarrassed, I looked away from Kellan as I continued. “Then I came back home from Harvard and my dad invited me to that show. I knew you’d be there, and I wanted you to see that I wasn’t a teenager anymore and to want me like you wanted the women you used to bring around to dinners and parties. I wanted you to want me as I wanted you.”

As I finished, I could feel my cheeks blushing. I could also feel his eyes burning a hole into my face, so I glanced at him and saw a mixture of amazement, confusion, and indignation.

“So, you seducing me was planned?”

 “Yes,” I said with a weak nod. “But getting pregnant wasn’t. I promise you that. I never meant to trap you into anything. I just wanted to know what it would be like to be yours.” I looked up and stared him deep in the eyes so he could see I was being honest. “I should have told you who I was from the start, but I was childish and, as you keep pointing out, stupid.”

Kellan caught the smirk on my lips and, after a heavy breath, smiled back. “You’re not stupid, Amelia. Naïve and reckless, but not stupid.” The kindness in his words eased the tension in my shoulders and the heaviness in my chest.

Neither of us said anything else as we finished eating. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, but it was certainly weird. After so many years of loving him in secret, finally having it out in the open made me feel like a weight had been lifted off my chest and I could finally move on with my life and be happy.

Once both our plates were empty, I knew it was time for me to go, but I wasn’t quite ready to say good-bye to him yet. “Would it be all right if I took a shower before I left?” I asked.