His former like with the englishers was beginning to seem distant now, as his old Amish habits were coming back in full force. God seemed more present and Samuel desires only to please Him. For he knew that there was no other source of joy and contentment.
He got along great with Mary, although he understood that she was seeing Samuel. John wanted to honor their relationship, even though sometimes he wished they were not together. John knew how she talked about him now, and didn’t feel they were right for each other. He saw the way he looked at her before, and saw nothing but jealousy and selfish ambition. But ss far as John saw it, his only responsibility was to help out as much as he could, and maybe one day he would be accepted back into the community.
Then one day he found out that Samuel would be coming over to court with Mary. It made him feel miserable inside. He had never realized that his feelings for Mary were so strong. He had thought that he just liked her as a friend, someone that he could genuinely connect to. But this was different, this was much more.
“Hello Samuel,” said Mary, as she greeted him at the door. She was excited to see him, but she noticed that the spark she used feel was not there.
“Hello Mary, I apologize that I have not come over more recently. Pa had needed a lot of work done on the farm. It is a busy time of year, of course.” Samuel clearly still liked mary, she could tell by the way he looked at her. But there was now a distance between them.
“Samuel, sit down, we have supper ready for you,” said Mama.
John came right up to Samuel to shake his hand. “I’m John. I have been helping out with the chores in return for room and board,” he said.
Samuel’s face showed recognition. “I know who you are. And I know why you are staying here. There is talk in the community of shunning you.”
“But that is why I am here,” said John. “I am here to show that I can be a contributing member of the community.” John was becoming frustrated.
“I am just letting you know how people feel. It is not necessarily my feelings on the matter,” said Samuel. Though John felt that they were.
Mary decided to try and lighten up the mood. “Can I get you lemonade, Samuel?”
“Of course,” he said, still looking at John.
John helped mama serve the dinner. Samuel was there to see Mary, and he wanted to be respectful and stay out of it.
Samuel looked at Mary. “Can I talk to you in private?”
“Of course,” said Mary. She was worried of what he might say. They discreetly got up and went into the hall.
“What I have said about him getting shunned is true. I just wish that you would get John out of here. The people don’t want him. Let his father deal with him. He will surely still take him back,” said Samuel.
Mary looked disgusted. “Why shouldn’t a person deserve another chance. He has done no wrong to us. He has been only a blessing so far. A blessing from God, and an answer to prayer.”
Samuel furrowed his brow, seemingly surprised to hear Mary defend him so vigorously. Samuel handed Mary a letter.
“They want us all to appear before the Bishop?”
“I am afraid so,” said Samuel smugly. He wanted to see John excommunicated and out of the picture. “The Bishop has deemed that John has been here long enough and a judgment must be made on whether he will be shunned or accepted. I think that the decision that he will make is obvious. I had no idea how much this would disappoint you,” said Samuel. He gave her a comforting hug. “I am still here for you, you know that Mary.”
Mary looked up at him, but could neither bring her head to nod or shake. She didn’t know if he would be there for her. He had run at first wind of her financial problems. And now he wanted the best thing that happened to her family gone. But, she knew that she still cared for him, and still loved him. But perhaps not in the same way.
Maybe he is right, thought Mary. The Amish will take care of us. They always do. Maybe the best decision is just to listen to the Bishop and accept his decision.
That night, Samuel bed courted her. But there was more than a bundling board between them this time. Mary felt confused and alone. She knew that John was sleeping on the couch, by himself. All he had done was help their family and work hard. And yet Samuel wanted him gone. She knew that John would be happy to see Samuel marry her, so long as he knew it was what would make her happy. But would that make her happy? Mary wasn’t sure.
In the morning Samuel left early to attend to his chores. There was no sad goodbye. She wasn’t sure if she was even going to miss him. His heart has grown cold and Mary didn’t know if the boy she grew up with still existed. She felt like he had been pretending all these years to love her.