The old lady shook her head. “It has been almost a decade since they have seen you. Long ago your father swore you off. I don’t think that he would just welcome you back.”
“But I must try,” demanded John.
“Suit yourself,” she said. I am too old to take you there. But I can tell you how to get there.”
The old lady explained the way. It was only a few miles down the road and then a few miles over a clearing near the woods. He would walk all night if he had to.
“You know we don’t see much of them nowadays. Even at the community gatherings, they rarely show up. Maybe you can change things for them.”
“I owe them at least that much, to try” said John. He thanked the old lady and was on his way. The pain of guilt for what he had done was acute. He walked faster. John was determined to do the right thing from now on. Was this God’s way of shaping his character?
The next morning after breakfast, Mary said goodbye to Samuel. He had to return home to attend to his chores. They had enjoyed their time together. But the morning was filled with an overarching sadness that permeated and tinted everything. Mary knew that she was a slave to the debt that her father had left her. Samuel knew that he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life paying off a debt that wasn’t his own. Deborah wished her husband was still around and could makes things right.
“He is a good man,” said Deborah. “I wish that you would be with him. He will make you a happy wife and you will have a good life.”
“But mama, what about you and Ruth and the farm? I told Samuel our situation, mama. I don’t think that he is going to be proposing to me anytime soon,” said Mary.
Deborah looked full of sadness. “You know you didn’t have to, Mary. This is not your debt. It is my debt. I was your father’s wife, not you. This is my reality, and my life’s problems, not yours. You didn’t have to tell him anything.”
“And was I supposed to get married and live in a nice house while I see you suffering. I couldn’t bare it mama. I had to tell him. I don’t care if he doesn’t want any part of me now. Mama, a true man will find a way to fix this if he really cares,” cried Mary, now with tears streaming down her face. She embraced her mother.
“Child, you are much too sweet for your own good. A man’s measure is not just in his ability to provide, but it is important. If you want someone that can provide and take care of all of us than you are free to want that. I just want you to be happy,” explained her mother.
“Mama, you have always been there for me, and now I want to be there for you. I am confident that there will be a way out of this. We probably can’t even imagine what it is yet.”
Mama smiled. “You know, Mary. In life there are always trials. But you can’t let that constantly make you unhappy. For if you do, you will never have a chance to be happy. Now, about that gathering tonight. I think that we should focus on that.”
“Yes, we will get our chores done as quickly as we can and then get dressed and ready to go.” Mary had at least a semblance of happiness now, even if she had to fake it. They both knew that they could not possibly hope to get all of their chores done. Not by themselves.
John knew that the Amish were a loving people. But they could be austere as they were a very rule abiding people. When he knocked on his father’s door, he gulped, nervous about what he would say and how we would react. The door opened.
“Father,” John said. He looked older, his face more wizened. There was a sadness to him, that was different than John remembered.
“My son, you have come back.” He was startled, seemingly taken aback. “You were gone for a long time…” John’s father looked almost dazed. He looked like he could be happy to see his son or angry. There was no way to tell. John hugged his father. His father embraced him, but then slowly pulled away. “Much has changed since you left. We have a new bishop now…”
John sensed something was wrong. “A new Bishop? And what does that have to do with anything?”
“The new bishop is not as forgiving of those that leave as the last one. You know the rules, John. You have caused so much pain to our family and this community. Do you know what happened to your mother?”
John knew. he nodded. This was the reaction that he feared he would get. “But father, I want to come back, I want to build a relationship with God, and with you. There is nothing for me in the outside world. I know that now. There has to be a way.”
Jeremiah shook his head. “I don’t know if that is possible. You can come in, and stay the night, but you will not be welcomed in this community. I know that for sure.” Jeremiah hugged his son again. But it was filled with the sadness that it could not last.