Billionaire Flawed 1(164)

“So you are saying that mother died for a reason. That her death was all a part of God’s good plan?” Sarah was again angry with her father. Why did he have to say that. Couldn’t he just accept that he was a loser and wallow in the misery of his own failure?

“I am not saying that Sarah. What I am saying is that God can work out for good anything that happens, including your mother’s death. We need to trust God,” said her father. He was surprised at what he was saying.

“Trust God? Since when do you trust God? I don’t remember the last time I have ever seen you read the Bible or pray,” said Sarah. She was very angry again.

Jacob tried to think of a way to fix the situation. “Well why don’t we pray right now, together. I know that I haven’t been the best father, but why can’t we change things now?”

“We can’t change things, because mother can’t change things. She is gone.” Sarah got into bed and pulled the covers over her. She didn’t want to talk any more.

“That is a part of life, Sarah. I know you don’t want to accept it, and you want to blame me for it. But life is not as easy as you want it to be. I don’t know why, but God has a plan. We just have to trust him.” Jacob trailed off as he was now in bed and clearly exhausted from the long day. Neither of them were used to the long Amish work days yet.

Trust God? How could I trust a God that let my mother die? Sarah pondered these questions as she lay in bed. She wondered why Ezekiel seemed so happy all of the time. She wondered why his whole family was happy. It must be a facade. Soon she would see their true nature. But part of her suspected that they may actually truly be happy. And that thought scared her more than anything.







The next day Sarah awoke to much the same routine. Her father was already gone and breakfast was already ready. It tasted amazing as was expected. But after breakfast they did something different. The whole family, everyone including herz, gathered into the corner of the main living room and sang hymns. Sarah had not sung since she was a little girl and tried just to blend in by mouthing the words. Isaiah and Ezekiel took turns leading in front, but for the most part everyone just sang as a group, without instruments. It was uplifting and as much as Sarah hated to admit, she felt ready to take on the chores of the day. What is it about this place?

“That was wonderful and such a delight to my soul,” said Isaiah. “The plan today is similar to yesterday. The berries should be finished up in just a few more hours, and Ezekiel and Sarah can work on that together again. I can’t thank you guys enough for the work you did yesterday. Jacob and I will continue to work on the barn. Now let’s get going and serve the Lord with joyful hearts today.”

As they departed, Sarah admitted to herself that she was buying into the way of life here a little bit. But she was still nagged by the seeming paradox of God. How is it that He could seem so wonderful and caring when they sang songs and talked to Him in prayer, but then the next minute he is allowing her mother to die, or for suffering in general. Sarah knew that she was still a long way off from having any kind of healing faith in God. If she was powerful enough to stop her mother from dying, she knew should would have. So why didn’t God? She remembered that her father had talked at length about God with Isaiah and came away with a different perspective. She wondered if Ezekiel had any enlightening thoughts.

“Ezekiel, can I ask you a few questions,” she said as they were talking to the berry field.

“Of course,” he responded. She knew that he would be delighted to help her in any way that he could.

“How do you still have faith in God when you see the horrible things that happen in this world. I mean he allowed my mother to die. And I’m sure that you know plenty of people that have died. It just seems like things happen at random. Or even that God is evil and enjoys tormenting people. I just don’t see his lovingkindness like we sing and talk about. I look around and I see pain.” Sarah realized that she confessed secrets about how she felt to Ezekiel that she had not shared with anyone else. How was it that he had gained enough of her confidence in one day to warrant this?

“You ask difficult questions,” said Ezekiel. He stopped walking and thought deeply. “But I cannot give you all of the answers that you seek, but I can help you find the way. Tell me Sarah, do you know the Gospel?”

Sarah nodded. She had heard it preached when she was younger, but she was a bit hazy on the details.

“Well think of it this way. God, being aware of our sufferings here on earth sent his own Son to suffer with us and die with the worst of criminals. That is what the gospels say. So you see, whatever reason God has for allowing suffering in this world, it can’t be that He simply doesn’t care. You can believe what you want about our God, but you can’t say he is indifferent to us.”