He sighed. “I gotta do something about this,” he said in a low voice. Sally let her head down next to him and nudged him with her nose. He patted her head and smiled at her. “I’m just talking to myself, girl. You don’t want me alone and sad forever, either, do you? Big girl. What would I do without you?”
He rubbed her nose and under her chin. “I know, girl. I gotta do something. I gotta pull myself together here.”
Sally snorted playfully and he felt like she understood and was agreeing.
“Yeah, yeah.”
He breathed in deeply and let it out slowly. “Okay, girl. I will. I’m gonna make things better now. I’m gonna get my head on and think right. I gotta think about Ruthie. I gotta think about my horses. I gotta think about…” He got to his feet and wrapped one arm over his saddle. “I gotta think about me.”
He turned her in the direction they had originally come from, toward his ranch house. He would go visit his older brother and ask for advice. Alex was working at the grain mill in town. Joe wanted to talk with him while he was at work, so that Catherine wouldn’t be around. She was highly critical of him, had always been that way. He didn’t need any more criticism. Her berating is what had caused him to let Ruthie go over there in the first place. Catherine had made him sound completely incompetent in caring for a three year old girl. But Ruthie had been there almost a month and it was time to get her back.
No matter how he felt, his daughter was more important and it had been long enough.
As he approached the mill, he could see his older brother standing outside the building, holding a large cup, which he frequently took a drink from as he listened to another man speak. They were involved in what looked like a serious discussion to Joe, until Alex threw his head back and laughed heartily, slapping his friend on the arm with his free hand. They both laughed more.
Joe smiled as he got closer. Alex looked up and lifted one hand.
“Joe! What are you doing in town, brother? It’s good to see you.” He glanced at the man he’d been talking to. “That’s my brother, you know him, don’t you?”
The man nodded. “Yeah, we’ve met many times, Alex. You know that.”
They both laughed again.
Joe came to a stop in front of them and slid down from the saddle, throwing the reins over a nearby hitching post. “Matt.” He nodded at the other man.
“Joe!”
They shook hands.
Joe looked up at his brother, who was much larger than he was. Alex was built strong, big and tough, with muscles bulging from all over his body. Joe was happy with what he had and didn’t desire to be as muscular as his brother. In all honesty, he wasn’t sure how Alex had gone from a slender young man to a bulky muscular man in the ages between 21 and 31.
“Alex, wondering if you wouldn’t mind taking a minute for me?”
Alex’s smile wavered and the look in his eyes told Joe he knew the talk would be a serious one.
“Of course, brother, of course.”
“I’ll let you guys discuss.” Matt backed up. “I’ll see you inside, Alex.”
“If you want to stay, Matt, I could use as many wise ideas as possible.”
Matt looked surprised. “Well…okay, if you really want me to stay. Let’s sit over on those benches though. Too hot to keep standing here.”
They moved to the benches, which were placed so that they all faced each other in a circle.
Alex held out the big cup to Joe. “You want a gulp of water, Joe? You look hot.”
“Yeah, thanks, I appreciate that.”
He took the cup and did, indeed, take a large gulp of the cool water. He was impressed that it was as cool as it was. “Thanks.” He said. His brother nodded.
“So I’m thinking it’s about time to pull myself together.” Alex said. “I’m not sitting well with this life I’m leading. I gotta do something to make a change. I don’t want to be miserable another day of my life and I want my little girl back. I need suggestions. What you guys think I should do?”
Matt lowered his eyes and looked at the ground intently. Alex continued looking at his brother and there was a bit of uncomfortable silence as Joe wondered what they were going to say, how they would respond.
Matt looked up at Alex, waiting to see what Joe’s actual brother would say before giving his own response. Alex finally spoke up, blinking at his brother.
“I think you need to be with your baby girl, Joey. But how do you feel? I mean, you really lose a lot there and you were having a hard time. You been hitting the bottle much lately?”
Joe shook his head. “No, I quit the drink right after you…after Ruthie went to stay with your family. I didn’t like slopping around like a pig in a mud pen. I wanna put it back together. But I really can’t reckon how I’m gonna do that.”