“Why did you encourage him, Celia?” He asked her. She hung her head low and then looked up at him again.
“Because I was mad at you. Because I thought you didn’t want me. I suppose I wanted to make you jealous, or teach you a lesson…I don’t know. I was wrong, whatever I did.” She replied. Wilder was still looking at her. His blue eyes had softened. He wasn’t wearing his hat, and his sandy blonde hair fell thickly around his neck. His beard was still growing; he hadn’t shaved in days. Celia had crane her neck up to look at him, he was much taller than her.
“You succeeded then, Celia. Because I was very jealous, and very angry.”
“I know what happened with your wife.” She cut in. Wilder raised his eyebrows, but he wasn’t upset to hear her say it.
“I know what she did, what Conrad did…why did you force her to leave and allowed him to stay after that?” She asked.
“Because he’s my brother. Katherine was an outsider, a girl I knew only for a few months. She had married me for the money, I had always known that. And I married her because I wanted an heir for the ranch.” Wilder explained. Celia watched him intently as he spoke, he didn’t seem angry any more. It was like a dam inside him had burst open and all of this was just spilling out of him. He wanted to tell her, he believed that she needed to know.
“And Conrad was foolish, and jealous of me and arrogant. But I couldn’t just kick him out. He would have nowhere to go. Our father had left him with nothing.” Wilder continued.
Celia hung her head, ashamed that she had misjudged Wilder for a different man.
“So you don’t hate all women? You don’t hate me?” She managed to ask, meeting his eyes with a bite of her lower lip.
Wilder took a step in her direction and she saw the smile form on his face.
“Of course I don’t hate you, Celia. I wanted you with a burning desire from the moment I saw you at the train station. I hated myself for wanting you. I wanted to stop myself but I couldn’t.” Wilder was speaking in words that Celia had never imagined he could use. She stepped towards him and reached for his face tenderly. He was looking down at her, her lips began to quiver.
“Wilder, I want you too. Don’t listen to anything Conrad says. I want you. I love you.” She couldn’t hold herself back any more, she stood up on her toes and kissed him.
Wilder’s hands enveloped her small waist as he held her to himself, kissing her, pushing his tongue into her mouth. Celia sighed as she kissed him back. This was all she ever wanted. She explored his chest with her fingers, dropping her hands to his groin where she could feel a growing bulge.
This time he didn’t stop her, he thrust himself towards her and Celia pulled away from him and smiled.
“I thought you didn’t want me. I thought you were incapable of wanting anyone.” She whispered to him. Their foreheads were knocking against each-others, she was breathing in his air. Wilder smiled at her.
“I love you Celia. Of-course I want you. That first night happened because I couldn’t control myself. I can always control myself.” Wilder insisted, his hand now beginning to explore the front of her dress. She could see the desperation in his eyes again. She knew what he wanted, she wanted the same. He needed to be inside her so that they could feel whole again. This time apart had made them both desperate. They needed each other.
“What is going to happen with Conrad?” She asked him, pulling her face away from him as he was about to kiss her.
“He is going to go fulfill his dream. I’ll give him the money he needs. He can go back to New York and try making a living there again. He’s unhappy here, bored and lonely. And I don’t need him here.” Wilder said, running his large hands through her own unruly curls. He seemed to be enjoying feeling the soft texture of her hair, he looked at her face and then grabbed both her cheeks. Wilder kissed her on her lips before she had the opportunity to say anything to him again. When Celia pulled away, she licked her lips and smiled at him.
“You are a good person, Wilder. You are a good brother and you are a good man for taking care of my grandfather for so long.” She said and placed her head on his chest. She could hear his heart beating and she smiled again. Her first instincts had been right. This was a man who she could get to know, spend her life with. This wasn’t a man she needed to be afraid of.
“Thank you Celia. You know, nobody has ever said that to me? Cowboys deserve some kindness and compliments too.” Wilder said and Celia burst into a laugh. She couldn’t help herself. Wilder was laughing too. They were sharing their first laugh as a couple and Celia knew that she had never been happier. Her grandfather was right, nobody around him understood Wilder Moore for the man he was. But she was determined to, he was right, even cowboys needed to be understood.