The shaking in my hands stopped long enough for me to take a drink from the bottle of beer. I tried very hard to hide my disgust as I swallowed the beer down. Reese laughed and took the bottle from my hands.
“Not your cup of tea, huh, baby?”
“Not really,” I said, trying not to blush.
“That's fine,” he said. His hand moved from my hand, up my arm and he started stroking my shoulder as he leaned forward, his delicious lips inches from my own. “We don't need to do much drinking anyway.”
His hand grabbed the back of my head and pulled me into him. He kissed me long and hard. It was dizzying and full of passion. His tongue danced with mine, sending me my head spinning. This wasn't real. I wasn't actually about to have sex with a man I'd fantasized about for so long – was I? It was all a dream. Had to be. Just another fantasy, right?
Except, in my fantasies, we were never in a crappy studio apartment on a futon. We were somewhere more romantic, somewhere more luxurious than that. No, the fact that we were in that crappy studio, on that futon meant it had to be real. And the realness of the moment hit me hard, making me pull away, just to gasp for air and get my bearings again.
“What's wrong?” Reese asked, staring deep into my eyes. “You okay?”
“Nothing,” I muttered. “I'm just – well –”
I wasn't sure if telling him I was a virgin would be a good or a bad thing. I mean, I didn't want to scare him off. But if we did end up having sex, he was going to find out.
So, I lied, kind of. Split the truth down the middle. “I'm just not very experienced, that's all.”
Reese pushed my hair back from my face and smiled at me, his dark eyes taking me in like I was the most delicious feast a hungry man had ever sat down to. I could get lost in those eyes – something I always did when I was a stupid girl back home. It often led to awkward moments where I just stared at him, unable to articulate anything at all. But there, in that moment, I could stare all I wanted and it was delightful.
“But,” I continued, talking a little bit faster than normal, just to make sure I didn't ruin the moment, “I want this. I still want to do this.”
Reese looked worried for a second, and I thought perhaps I'd ruined everything after all. I was kicking myself mentally until he finally spoke.
“That's fine and all,” he said. “I just want you to know I'm not looking for anything serious, you know?”
“Oh no,” I said, eyes wide. “I have no preconceived notions about what this means, Reese. I'm not looking for a boyfriend either. I've got a lot going on. And I'll be heading off to medical school in a few years – I don't want to be tied down like that.”
An expression of relief flooded his face. “Good, because I didn't want to lead you on or anything. I wouldn't do you like that,” he said. “I'm actually leaving Chicago in a few weeks, heading off to Los Angeles for a new club gig and this could be huge for me. Could be my big break.”
“Oh wow, yeah, that's awesome,” I said. “And you don't have to worry about anything. I'm not naive or anything. Whatever happens tonight is just for tonight.”
That seemed to please Reese very much, as he said no more and that hunger returned to his eyes. He merely leaned in and started kissing me again as he pushed me onto my back. His hands moved under my shirt and teased my nipple, causing me to shudder as he kissed my neck. I gripped his shoulders as a fire ignited between my thighs.
My hands were in his hair, pulling him toward me. I had no idea what to do with myself, and Reese seemed content to do most of the work – so I let him. His hand moved from my breasts to somewhere much lower. I gasped as his hands moved under my skirt and up my thighs. As he came closer to my most intimate parts, I felt my nerves take hold of me once more, and I felt myself starting to freak out. But this time, I managed to keep it under control and to myself.
Oh, my God, this is really happening.
As Reese slipped a finger past my panties and slid it inside of me, I moved my hips upward, surprised at the sudden sensation that flooded my body. I'd touched myself countless times, but this was the first time someone else had touched me – it felt weird and wonderful all at the same time.
His finger moved in and out of me, slowly and rhythmically, as he kissed me.
“Nice and tight, just like I thought you'd be,” he murmured in my ear.
I whimpered as he pushed not one, but two fingers inside of me. Slowly and deeply. My eyes grew wide as he fingered me, preparing me for what was to come. I was ready, mentally, but I knew my body needed to relax – if it didn't, it was going to hurt. And I didn't want it to hurt. I didn't want Reese realizing I was a virgin, not if I could help it. That would just make it seem even more awkward.