“Six months. I met her at a hotel when I was meeting with a client for a new project, and things just happened,” Sean said as he looked at the floor. “She moved here about three months ago,”
“Moved here? Wow…when were you planning on telling me about this new part of your life?” I asked as he stared at me for a moment.
“Soon. I’m in love with her, Celia. We want to be together.” I had drunk more wine before I set the bottle down on the granite counter. “I want the house.”
“You can live anywhere, Sean. You have the job. Remember when you told me that you didn’t expect me to work?” I asked as angry tears slid down my cheeks.
“Brittany loves the house,” he told me as I picked up the wine and threw it towards him, finding some joy as it crashed against the mustard wall beside him. “Jesus, Celia.”
“You’re paying for a hotel for me until I figure something else out,” I told him as I walked past him to go to the bedroom to pack some stuff. I refused to look at the office as I walked into the huge room and pulled out a duffel bag. It was once my peace, and now I looked around before I walked over to the dresser. I packed all the clothes that I could into the bag before grabbing another. Nearly all the stuff in this house belonged to Sean. Everything here was his idea, and I allowed myself to fall into the picture, losing myself in the process as I looked back in my head.
I grabbed my bags and left the house, not looking around as I got into my Tahoe and backed out of the garage. Driving to the hotel that was closest and had a five-star rating, I booked a room using our joint debit card, starting with a weeklong stay. Sean owed me this. He needed to give me time to settle my life, and I looked around the room with a sigh. Great place but it just didn’t feel like home to me.
I sat down on the bed and called my mom, breaking the news to her even though we’d just lost Dad two months ago. She cried for me, thinking that Sean was such a good guy, asking me what I was going to do as I started to cry with her. I told her that I was going to try and stay in Massachusetts. I had friends here and a life apart from Sean that might be worth holding onto. She still had my aunts there with her.
I promised her that I’d come home if it didn’t work out the way I wanted it to. I promised that I would do what I needed to be happy. I was a strong person that just got caught up in a lie for a while.
When I hung up with Mom, I dropped back onto the big bed and closed my eyes. Emotions were exhausting.
I woke up sometime during the night with a start, turning on my side as I looked around the strange room. I sat up and moved from the bed to feel against the wall for a switch, revealing the bland hotel room as I flicked a light on. Reality returned to me as I sighed and felt my stomach growling. I looked in the mirror, seeing the circles under my eyes as well as the mascara smeared around my eyes as I groaned. There was no way that I was going out, so I grabbed the room service menu and read it before dialing the front desk.
I ordered a cheeseburger and fries with a chocolate shake and several bottles of water to stick in the fridge. I’d been working out every goddamn day before volunteering to make Sean happy, and it didn’t work. I was going to enjoy this food, find comfort in the taste of it as well as the fact that they overcharged for all of it. I turned on the television and discovered that it was eight o’clock from the shows that were on. I waited for the food after changing into my pajama pants and a big t-shirt, staring mindlessly at the sitcom on television.
The knock made me come to, and I padded to the door before looking through the peephole.
“Good evening,” I said weakly after opening the door and letting the young man inside with the tray of food. It smelled so good, and I thanked him as I pointed to the center of the room, remembering that I had a little cash in my wallet. I pulled out a ten-dollar bill and offered it to him, finding little else as he glanced at it with concern on his handsome face.
“You don’t need this, do you?”
“I’m okay. Please take it,” I told him as tears filled my eyes. I had to be okay. Sean wouldn’t leave me with nothing, would he? I had no issues getting a job, but it was just the uncertainty of what I could get at this point in my life. I graduated high school but had no college degree, and a fast food job or retail job in a mall was not going to pay me enough to have a place of my own. At least, not one that was safe for a woman living alone.
The food was delicious, but I lost my appetite after a few bites of the burger and just a handful of fries. Once I was done picking at it, I set the whole tray outside of the door and secured it for the night as I sipped at the melting shake. Chocolate always tasted great, and it soothed me as I piled up the pillows to relax as best as I could. Everything felt hopeless at this moment, as well as lonely, but I knew that I’d pull through it. I fell asleep with the television on to have some noise in the background, tossing and turning as I thought about the lie my life had been for the better part of a year. I didn’t trust Sean with his story, but it didn’t matter. I knew that he cheated and that ended everything, even if he’d begged for forgiveness.