“I remember a lot of things about back then. I seem to recall that you had eyes for another before I even met you. I knew all about you, but I never thought that you would give me the time of day. It was only when I found that note in my locker that I found out that you were harboring a crush on me. I thought that you were joking and that it was some way to make me look like a fool in front of all of your classmates.” I remembered the old truck and the way that we had steamed up the windows to keep warm.
“What can I tell you, I know what I like and that body is a sinful work of art that needs to be appreciated by the right man. I could certainly use that body as a canvas for some of my unique paintings. I never did think that I had an artistic side. I needed some way to get out of my head before a big game and my coach turned me on to painting. I’m a bit more impressionist and I like certain colors that go together. Your skin tone is perfect for my breast…brush stroke. Would you consider posing for me?” I wasn’t sure that he was saying this to get me naked or if he was being genuine and sincere with his offer. I’d always wondered what it would be like to be with someone with an artistic flair. I could tell even back then that there were hidden layers to the man.
“You know my answer. I only came here to set things straight. I gave you the impression last night that you had a chance. I’m just not sure that it’s true. I don’t mean to be flippant about your feelings, but I’m not sure that you really came here to see me for the right reason. I don’t want to go pulling at that thread, but I think that I have to for my own sanity.” He tried to reach for me and that was always his way of making me lose my train of thought.
“I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to believe that I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I even have the photos to remind me. Before you say anything, I couldn’t delete them not when you made such a pretty picture. I can’t say that I haven’t shown them to others. I will say that their comments were favorable. I wanted them to see you as I did. I wanted them to see you like none of my friends could. Men are ready to accept women with your unique body type. I thought that I was the minority, but I think that you found out guys like a little bit more meat on the bone.” I was stunned that he even told me about the photos. I thought that I was going to have to pry that bit of information out of him the hard way.
“I don’t like that you have shown them to anybody. It embarrasses me that those photos are even out there. If you were any man at all, you would do me the honor of deleting them in front of me. I don’t think that you can…” I didn’t get a chance to finish the thought as he turned the phone and began to delete one photo after the other.
“I don’t need them when I have the real thing right in front of me. They were a pale comparison to the real thing. They were a reminder of something that I left behind and should’ve gone back for to retrieve a long time ago. I don’t know how many times I actually picked up the phone and was ready to call you. They were mostly during drunken binges, but they say that true feelings emerge when you let your inhibitions fall away. I did call you one time. I heard you talking on the other end of the line, but I couldn’t say anything.” I remembered a call that was anonymous with somebody heavy breathing a couple of years ago. I knew that there was something oddly familiar about the heavy breathing.
“I thought that was some teenage prank or maybe somebody that was stalking me. You scared me and I don’t think that somebody that claims to love me would do that.” We finished our coffee and we took a long walk with the lights of the city lulling me into a false sense of security.
“I didn’t even know that I was going to find you. I had to call around to make sure that you didn’t slip through my fingers again. I was never the romantic type guy. I didn’t go into candlelight and long walks on the beach. I showed you my affection with actions instead of words. I don’t think that your parents’ bed is ever going to be the same again. We really did work out those springs. I’ve never met a woman that enjoyed it as much as you did. You know what I have. There’s no reason why we can’t revisit the past. I can show you what you have been missing with no strings attached.” It was tempting and I did see the snake trying to escape its cage.
“I don’t think that’s appropriate under the circumstances. I do find myself curious to know if my recollection is exactly as I remember it.” He turned suddenly and pushed me up against an alley wall. He moved in with his lips very near to touching mine. I could smell the scent of the man and it brought me back to a time that I thought that I was the happiest that I could ever be.