Billionaire Daddy and Nanny 1(194)

“I can’t do this right now. I need you to leave and to give me space. I will leave you with one thought. You made me feel like I wasn’t worth it to stand beside you in your career. I don’t know how I’m supposed to ever get over something like that. I’ve always struggled with my weight and you didn’t make it any easier by making me think that you were embarrassed to have me in your life.” I’d wanted to say this to him the last day of high school, but I was too naïve and hurt by his betrayal to do much of anything. I could only stare at him as he walked out of my life.

“I apologize for making you feel that way. It wasn’t right and I was stupid to think that I could do better.” I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. I closed the door with my heart beating and my palms sweating. I had this need to jump either guy and have my way with them. I was actually thinking that maybe I could have my cake and eat it too, but that would’ve been asking for way too much.



“I’ve never known you to play two guys against each other. I told you that Jones was going to realize the mistake that he made. I’ve heard all about him and that twinkle in your eye is hard to ignore.” It was 5:00 AM in the morning and I had barged in on Gemini sleeping to get her two cents worth.

“I just don’t know what to do. I thought that I had Jones out of my system, but all those feelings resurfaced when I saw him standing at my door. His voice was like a whisper in the wind. I’m powerless when I’m around him. I thought that I was never going to see him again. August is my future and Jones is my past.” I wanted to believe that, but those memories never did fade over time. Jones had always been the measuring stick that I used when I found myself even remotely in a relationship.

“You say that, but I’m not sure that you really believe that. You have every right to the way that you feel. There was no closure to end your relationship with Jones. This might be your one opportunity to finally tell him that it’s over. I’m a little concerned that you weren’t able to do that last night. It made him believe that you’re not over him. I can’t tell you what to do, but I can give you some of my sage advice. You can’t have both of them no matter what fantasy might manifest in that naughty little mind of yours. It would never work which means that you’re going to have to decide on one or the other. They both have that same attitude toward women. They both think that they are god’s gift. It appears that you have a type. Do you think that the reason why you have been keeping August from getting close is because he reminded you too much of Jones?” I hadn’t thought of that, but now that she had broached the topic it did ring with a bit of truth.

“I’m glad that you’re being the voice of reason. I’m not sure that I could even think straight with the both of them running around in my mind. I really did have the intention of rocking his world last night. I would be right now basking in the afterglow. There’s a part of me that wants to go to Jones and tell him that he needs to leave me alone. I tried last night, but I instead put him off like I was weighing my options.” They both had the capacity to love with all of their heart. It was a no-win situation. Someone was going to get hurt and it was going to be because of me. I wasn’t ready for that kind of responsibility.

“Until you figure out what you’re going to do then they both should remain off limits. If it were me, I would test drive both to see which stick feels better. I know that’s not how you do things. You let your feelings take control of you. I think that it’s kinda cute, but also leaves you with a decision to make. Do you take a chance on someone that hurt you like that or do you run off to the orient with August? It all comes down to what you feel right here.” She reached out and touched my heart. I knew that she was right.

“I sometimes find myself turning my back on love completely. I need to break down those walls that I have put up because of Jones. August has done his best to chip through to the other side. I thought last night was finally going to make it crumble for good. I need to find out if the love that I had for Jones is still there. The only way to find out is to spend some time with him alone and in private. You gave me a lot to think about and I appreciate that.” We had been talking for almost 2 hours and it was time for me to get ready for work. It wasn’t going to be easy to get my head in the game.

“Jones is not going to be a part of your past until you are able to finally say that you don’t need him. Don’t get lost in the feelings that you have for him before. You may find out that he’s the same man that you remember. He may look different on the surface, but men don’t change. There’s no way that you could possibly say that you’re the same person that you were when you first met him.” She was sitting there on the couch with that one lone blanket over top of her naked frame. I didn’t ask her to cover up and it felt perfectly natural to speak about my feelings with her wearing only a smile.