“I can honestly say that I didn’t know that you felt that way. If we could go back to when we first met, I might’ve been able to see through your callous ways. You must have been hiding the real August underneath the way that you chased after me.” I was giving him the idea that I was open to the possibility of something more. I wasn’t exactly coming out and saying it, but the underlying meaning was there.
“There are many paths that we take in life and sometimes we veer off to come back to that same one over again. I don’t want to give you any false promises. I’ve never been able to get you out of my head. There are times that Julia’s talking to me and the only thing that I can think about is you. I know that it’s not right and I should be with her body and soul. I know that I have to finish this with Julia, but do you think that we can talk about us after. I can come over and we can have a cup of coffee and see where things go.” My plan had worked better than I had envisioned.
“The one thing that I don’t want to be for you is that rebound girl. You need to decide if you really want this to work between us. If you can honestly say to yourself that you don’t just want to have sex with me then come over and we can build on that.” We had opened the lines of communication and it was possible that I was going to have him knocking on my door.
He turned quickly, knocking me off balance by swiveling his chair and making me fall in his lap. I squirmed for a moment, but then I settled in with my legs over the arms of the chair. I put both hands on his face, gliding my fingertips over the bristles of his stubble and loving the rough look.
“I really thought the idea of the both of us being together was a dead issue. I feel you on top of me and the heat of your body is causing me to react. You can tell that I’m happy to have you right here in this position. I would love to do more, but I don’t think that I can.” I thought for a moment that he was suffering from some sort of erectile dysfunction. “I mean… I can, but it’s not fair to Julia. I haven’t even told her that it’s time for us to see other people.” This was the kind of man that I could see myself with for more than the fleeting chance of pleasure between the sheets.
“It would be better that you go before I decide to take that decision out of your hands.” I got up reluctantly, brushing my fingertips over his lips and then standing awkwardly like I was going to fall on the cushion of my ass.
“I promise that I will be there tonight. I don’t know what time it will be, but keep a light on for me.” I was giddy with anticipation as the door closed like that one chapter of my life.
I thought that I was dreaming. The conversation seemed so surreal that it was almost like I had manifested it in my head. I looked around and I knew where I was that. I pinched myself and still I didn’t bolt straight up in bed disappointed.
I wasn’t sure how to prepare for his arrival. I didn’t know when he was going to show up, but that anticipation of what was to come was in the air. There was no denying that if he were to make a pass that I would fall into his arms and show him that I was agiler than I looked. That I could still bend myself certain ways that would make me look like a pretzel.
“I’m guessing that you want me to make myself scarce tonight. I’m glad to see that you were finally able to talk to him. I know that your intention was to manipulate him and on some level, you did, but for the most part, this decision was his own. He needed you to remind him of a few certain details that he wasn’t aware of.” Gemini was in a downward dog position on the floor. I had followed her into that same position and I think that we both surprised ourselves that we could still do this.
“I used my position in his life to find out some things that changed his perspective. I helped Julia to realize that her dream was not to be a doctor. I know that without me that they would still be together, but I doubt that they would have been very happy. Surviving the dating world is not easy for anyone. There are times that we become complacent and end up with someone that is not truly compatible with us. You and I both know that jumping back into something that is familiar is like putting on an old pair of socks.” I thought about my past and the few men that were supposed to be the one.
“Amanda, life is not worth living if you’re not doing something that you love. Julia was stuck on the notion that her family was right. She didn’t have any say in her own future. You helped her to see that she was only pleasing them and not herself. You may have played armchair therapist to the both of them, but in the long run, they will be better off for it. Trust me; I’ve been in relationships where nobody wanted to cut that cord because it was going to be too painful. It’s better to do it as soon as possible or those things that drive you crazy about that person are only going to get on your last nerve. There will be that final straw.” Gemini was wearing blue spandex pants and a sports bra that really didn’t hide what she was given an abundance of.