“This is between you and your son. It has nothing to do with me and I would rather not get into the middle of a domestic dispute.” I stood my ground, but I could feel myself weakening underneath her mom stare. “Don’t say that I didn’t warn you. There’s no way that you can treat me the same way that you do your son.” She pointed towards the living room and I had no choice. I had to obey. It was almost like it was ingrained in me from the way that my mother could literally give me one look and have me at a loss for words.
Marshall leaned into me and whispered in private “I’m sorry that you have to be here for this. I was hoping that we were never going to have to have that talk. I do have to say that I’m quite surprised to see you here. Pleasantly so, but I still have to wonder what compelled you to come here.” It was an interesting question and one that I was hoping that we could get into it after I had him screaming obscenities and writhing on top of me.
She grabbed us both by the ear. I didn’t know how painful that could be until that very moment. “I will have no secrets when I’m standing right here. If you have something to say, then share it with the rest of the class.” It was obvious to me that her background was in teaching. She knew how to garner respect and when she didn’t get it, there was only one way that she could go to make her point abundantly clear.
“Mother, I’m a grown man and I don’t need you to police my life.” It was nice to see him stand up for himself, but it didn’t look like she was going to let him play the martyr. “I have every right to live the way that I see fit. I really don’t need your permission or acceptance. You might be right and maybe some of what dad did to you rubbed off on me. I never thought of it like that before.” I didn’t want to wait my whole life for a man that had mommy issues.
“I know that you’re old enough to know better. You’re definitely too old to put over my knee, but a good talking to never goes out of style. Maybe if you hear some harsh truths then you will finally realize that your actions have consequences.” She was only small in stature at 5 foot nothing. I could’ve easily taken her, but for some reason, her intimidation tactics were too much for me to bear.
“I watched my father play with your heart and each and every time you came back after he apologized profusely for his actions. I didn’t respect you for that. I understood that you were doing it because you wanted to make it work. I hated him and we’ve never been able to stay in the same room together for any length of time before angry words were spoken.” I sat down with them and the only thing that I could do was listen. I was still feeling this need to drape my leg over the top of him and take that necessary test drive.
There was that awkward silence. This was obviously building up for a very long time. “I didn’t stay with your father because I wanted to make it work. I stayed with your father because I saw some redeeming qualities that I thought we could build on. It took several hours with a therapist before I finally realized that he just didn’t have it in him to be monogamous. I even gave him the benefit of the doubt. I tried to meet him halfway by spicing things up in the bedroom.” I looked at Marshall and he had his hands over his ears like a little child and whistling loudly so that he didn’t have to be subjected to this.
I put my hands on his wrists and I pulled them away. “I think that it is a good idea that we listen to her. She has been keeping this in for a long time and it’s not healthy. I’m starting to understand where the way that you treat women comes from. You’re damaged goods. You may not think so, but there’s something wrong inside you that needs to be fixed. I’m just not sure that I’m the woman that can do that for you. I would like to give it a try. I would feel stupid if I didn’t and you found somebody else.” I wasn’t looking at his mother, but I could hear her breathing like she was doing it over my shoulder.
“I don’t know you and I was really not impressed by the way you manhandled my son. You’re the type of girl that I wouldn’t want him to bring home to dinner. I get this feeling that there is a long line of broken hearts in your wake. That might be something that you have in common with my son.” I didn’t want to hear about my own faults and shortcomings. It didn’t look like I was going to be able to stop drop and roll from a moving vehicle metaphorically speaking. She had me where she wanted me and this was her time to say her peace.
“It was hard seeing you and father at odds. I screamed into my pillow every time that I heard you both arguing loudly. You didn’t take into consideration what that was going to do for a little boy’s self-esteem. I drew in on myself and never was one to make friends. It was only after I got out of school that my resentment turned into something that I don’t even recognize anymore. I actually enjoyed sleeping with women and then never seeing them again. I don’t want to admit this, but I think in some small way it was to get back at you.” This was a huge step and one that made me see the weight coming off his shoulders.