"Hey," I said once I was seated.
"Hey," he said. "How's it going?" I wished that I could tell him. Anybody! Keeping everything to myself was destroying me! I really wished that I could tell Gemma. We were supposed to be friends and I hadn't been a friend to her lately. All of a sudden, I was crying. Richard looked alarmed. "Are you alright?" I couldn't speak so I just shook my head. My body shook with silent sobs. Richard grabbed a bunch of napkins and handed them to me. I wiped my face and took a sip of my soda.
"I'm fine," I told him but he was not convinced.
"You look anything but fine," he said. He looked so concerned that it made me start crying all over again. I didn't deserve it! I didn't deserve to have everyone worrying about me!
"I'm sorry," I said through sobs. He just handed me more napkins.
"You don't have to apologize. It's ok," he assured me, but I knew that it wasn't ok. I was a bad person and I had fucked over and lied to all of these people. Used all of these people. I deserved to cry. I deserved worse! My phone started ringing in my pocket. I took it out and looked at the screen. Professor Moore was calling me.
"I've got to take this," I said, sniffling and wiping my face. Richard nodded understandingly. I stood up and pressed 'Answer' as I walked away from the table.
"Hello?" I answered. There was no answer. "Hello?" I repeated.
"I want to know everything and if you can't be honest with me then you will never hear from me again, understood?" Professor Moore said in a grave voice. I was out in the hall where no one could hear. I stood off to the side by a plant and a window. I nodded.
"Yes, I understand," I answered. When he didn't say anything else, I took a deep breath. "When I found out that you were married, I was devastated. I would have never slept with you or even pursued you or tempted you in any kind of way if I had known. I'm not like that. When I left your office that day, I ran into your wife and accidentally took her phone. I gave it to my roommate to give to her while I went to class, only I had no intentions of going to class. My roommate invited your wife in for tea. I stole ecstasy pills from my roommate’s room and slipped it in their tea. When they started hooking up, I took the pictures," I said. I could hear him breathing heavily so I paused.
"You drugged my wife?!" He roared.
"Yes," I said quietly.
"You're fuckin crazy! Are you out of your mind?!" He shouted. I cringed and looked out the window. Maybe. "Why?" He asked. I was quiet. "Why did you do it?!" He demanded.
"Because I thought that if given the opportunity, your wife would cheat too and you'd definitely get a divorce!" I spit the words out as quickly as I could. A sob erupted from my chest, tears refilled my eyes.
"I can't believe this. You've destroyed my marriage," he accused me. I crumpled to the floor, sobbing. Professor Moore hung up on me. I had fucked everything up and now everyone hated me. I heard footsteps and a shadow was cast over me. When I looked up, Richard was standing over me holding a plate wrapped in napkins. He held out his hand to me.
"Let me walk you home," he said. I took his hand and he helped me stand up.
"What's in the plate?" I asked him as we walked out the building.
"Your pizza," he told me. I smiled.
"Why are you so nice?" I asked him. He smiled and shrugged.
"I don't know," he answered. As we walked, I thought about how easy things could be if I loved Richard instead of Professor Moore. But I didn't love Richard and things were damn near impossible.
When we got to my apartment building, Richard handed me the plate.
"Thank you, for all of this," I said with a smile.
"You're welcome. I hope you feel better," he told me. We hugged and he started walking back to campus. I was just about to go inside when I noticed someone watching me from a car parked in front of my building. It was Professor Moore.
I stood on the outside of the building and waited for Marquise to get out of his car and approach me. When he got close enough, I could see that he too had been crying.
The first thing that came out of his mouth was, "hanging out with your little boyfriend?" I rolled my eyes.
"He's not my boyfriend. He's just a nice person. He might be the only friend that I have left," I said.
"Well, who's fault is that?" He asked me. I shifted uncomfortably. I hoped that he hadn't come here just to make me feel worse. "Why'd you, do it?"
"Do what?"
"All of it? The panties. Breaking into my office. Drugging my wife? Everything!" He said, throwing his hands up. I shrugged.
"I don't know! I've never done anything like this! I've never felt this way before," I told him.