I wondered how she did it as I moved my hand hard and fast. Was she a clit girl or did she fuck herself with her fingers? Oh, fuck. I jerked and sprayed the wall with my release, taking deep breaths as I gasped her name. This was wrong, so fucking wrong. I felt the waves of pleasure continue as I reminded myself that she was my niece and that I was her guardian. I was here to care for Caroline and send her into the world as a strong woman, not to fuck her. God, I wanted to right now. I finished in the shower and cleaned up, drying off as I looked myself in the mirror.
I went back to when she was a baby, sweet and full of laughter. I was young then, fucking women left and right as I watched my friends fall deeper in love even though they were so close to my age. Could I find that?
I spent more time with Caroline as she grew, loving her intelligence and wit. Even as I kept sleeping around town, I never found a woman my age that I respected as much. I started to believe that my standards were too high, even though I lowered them when Caroline was living with me and I thought that she needed a woman in her life.
They always seemed to like her as a person, though not our relationship. They were jealous of all that I did for Caroline, wanting the attention for themselves. She came first as if she was my own daughter.
She wasn’t though, something I knew as she approached her late teens. Caroline was beautiful, and her level of maturity only made her glow more. She had a lot to offer a man, and now it hit me that she knew that. I dressed in shorts to go downstairs for some water. The house was a three-level home with a lot of space. Caroline had the floor just below me with her big room and bathroom, and I had a room in a similar size. There were three guest bedrooms on the first floor as well as a large gym and office for me. I had a lot of money, but I wasn’t the kind of man to be cocky about that. I built my house with my needs in mind, not adding garish things such as bowling alleys and theaters. I could go out and do both of those if I chose to, allowing myself a ninety-inch TV in my sunken living room to enjoy movies and television on. That was enough since I had little time for more than catching the scores of the day.
I liked seeing Caroline watch movies in there, the fire going as she snuggled under one of the many blankets. I was an admitted bachelor before she moved in and Caroline made me add some softer touches to my home. She spent a lot of time in that room; studying, reading, or watching television even though I expected her to spend a lot of time in her bedroom. It was generously sized and overlooked the forest below us, something that I loved in my own room. Caroline preferred being downstairs, maybe feeling like she wasn’t alone or something along those lines. I spent more time in there when she came to live with me, working on my laptop a lot with the background noise of whatever show was on the set.
It felt like a family, something that I never would have asked for the way that I received it. I was torn between my grief and the fact that I liked her being here with me.
Now, I’d just jerked off to Caroline in my shower. What kind of monster was I?
I pulled a shirt over my torso, something that wasn’t typical of me. I preferred comfort, and I always thought that I kept that at an acceptable level with Caroline before now.
I swallowed thickly when I saw her sitting at the table dressed in those damn leggings and a more fitted t-shirt, reading a book. I knew that she went to school later today since it was Thursday and I walked over to pour some coffee. I planned to work from home today but considered changing my mind with her home. I couldn’t allow this to take me over. This was my house, and I had the control to handle this situation, looking at her as she tucked a curl slowly behind her ear before glancing at me. “Good morning.” The look in her eyes made me wonder if she knew what I’d done before I pushed the absurd idea out of my mind. It wasn’t possible.
“Morning. Sleep well?” I asked as she smiled slowly and nodded.
“Yes, very well.” She looked into my eyes. “How about you?”
“Great.” My answer was clipped, and she frowned before she looked down at her book again. Shit. I needed to get control of myself. “I might go into the office for a bit. Do you need anything while I’m out?”
“No, thank you.” Caroline didn’t look at me as she spoke and I walked over to her slowly. I kissed her hair, wishing it was innocent as I walked away to dress for the office.
I had pulled on slacks and a button up shirt before I walked out to my black Yukon to drive into the city. I resented myself for needing to leave my paradise as well as Caroline. Hell, I even resented Brandon and Mila for a fleeting moment as I pulled onto the two-lane road to head to the freeway.