“Of course, I forgot you order the same thing!” Calvin said with a nervous laugh escaping his lips.
When their eyes met, Veronica looked away from him. She was feeling guilty again, because even though she was sitting in front of her boyfriend who was trying his best to be sweet and kind to her, all she could think about was being with her boss.
“How’s the food?” Calvin asked her and Veronica looked up from her plate to fix her eyes on him. They had been eating in relative silence since the food arrived. Even though Veronica wanted to make some kind of conversation with him, she couldn’t think of a single thing to say.
“Delicious, as always,” she said finally, wiping the sides of her mouth with the napkin on her lap. Calvin smiled and nodded his head, and after a few moments of silence had passed again, Veronica decided to say something too.
“And how is yours?” she asked, her voice catching a little in her throat.
“Very good,” Calvin replied.
Did they really have nothing left to talk about? They were seeing each other after nearly four weeks. Granted that they spoke over the phone every other day, surely, there would be something more private to discuss? Veronica racked her brain.
“Ashley, Mr Davenport’s older daughter…just won a dance competition,” she said. Veronica had to try very hard to remind herself to refer to him formally, instead of just calling him Frank. She didn’t want to slip up unexpectedly. Any news she wanted to break to Calvin would have to be done gently.
“That’s lovely. Sounds like you’ve grown quite fond of the kids,” Calvin said, with another one of his kindly smiles. It seemed to Veronica that he was trying to please her. They had lost a lot of their comfort and it felt more like a “first date” rather than a hundredth.
She nodded her head vigorously.
“I love them. They’re brilliant kids,” she said with a smile. She noticed that Calvin was looking at her curiously, something was on his mind.
“And what is Frank Davenport like? I’ve heard that he is quite a difficult man to work for,” Calvin said, dropping his fork on his plate. He was gearing himself up to listen to what she had to say.
Veronica felt nervous again. How was she supposed to describe Frank to him? What words could she use to tell Calvin that Frank Davenport was the most interesting and affectionate man she had ever met. She considered if this was the opportunity she needed to confess everything to Calvin.
“Umm…he’s okay. We get along fine,” she blurted out, before she could formulate any other words.
Calvin’s eyes seemed to expand.
“And I suppose you don’t bump into him very often anyway, do you?” he asked and Veronica spooned a mouthful of food into her mouth. She tried to bide her time before committing to a response. She couldn’t decide how to frame a response.
“I see him everyday,” she said flatly, when she was done chewing. Calvin licked his lips and nodded his head, before going back to his food. A deathly silence had descended on their table again. It was evident to Calvin that Veronica didn’t want to talk much about her work for some reason.
“How is your work coming along?” she asked, just as Calvin opened his mouth to ask something else. She wanted to distract him. He closed his mouth shut and nodded his head again.
“Good. The usual. Nothing new,” he said and then cleared his throat.
Veronica was still trying to avoid looking at him directly. She was still trying to find more neutral ground to talk about.
“But, we’re not here to discuss my work,” he said suddenly and she jerked her head up to look at him. Calvin had his eyes narrowed at her, he was studying her face intently. Veronica gulped.
“What are we here to talk about then?” she asked, and she was sure that he could hear the loud thumping of her heart in her chest.
“You. Us. Our relationship,” he said, without wasting another moment.
Veronica put her spoon down lightly on her plate, wiped the sides of her mouth and reached for the glass of water beside her. Calvin was following all her movements with intent eyes. He was giving her a chance to respond.
“What do you want to discuss about our relationship?” she asked, in a voice that sounded more weak than confident. She was afraid that somehow Calvin knew that she had cheated on him, that she had been cheating on him for the past four weeks. She was guilty and afraid and upset with herself. Looking at Calvin’s narrowed curious eyes, which showed that he was trying to be patient with her; Veronica was sure now that she had taken him for granted. He didn’t deserve this treatment.
“When you took this job, you told me that we needed some time apart. You said that we had fallen into a routine…quite frankly, you were trying to tell me that you were bored of me,” Calvin said, still keeping his eyes on her.