She had orgasmed. Before he got her naked, before he took her, just from him emulating the act of possession. She lay beneath him, boneless, the sight and scent of her satisfaction maddening him more. Her eyes told him release had only left her hungrier, readier for his invasion.
But he’d already been jarred out of his fugue. And what he realized he’d been about to do horrified him. He would have taken her without preliminaries. Without protection. He had none here. He’d never had a woman in this house, let alone this bed, had never intended to have one here.
He could pleasure her again, but he was in too precarious a condition. If he’d lost his mind from one touch, if he continued touching her, he’d get her naked, would end up buried inside her, would ride her until she climaxed around him, wouldn’t be able to stop until he spilled deep inside her womb. It would be an irretrievable step that would spoil everything.
Among all the inhuman tests he’d been exposed to and had always passed with flying colors, raising himself off her now, ending this, was the hardest thing he’d ever done.
Her hands clung weakly to him, trying to coax him back to her. He’d never resisted anything so overwhelming.
But he managed to. Rising from the bed, keeping his eyes off her so he wouldn’t launch himself back at her, he strode to his dressing room and replaced the shirt he’d shredded before he strode back out to her.
His heart almost stopped when he found the bed empty. Exploding into a run, he only slowed down when he found her in the foyer, retrieving the purse she’d left on a table there.
“Liliana...”
His voice sounded as if it issued through gravel, which he felt filled his throat. Slowly, she turned to him, her face for the very first time totally unreadable. She said nothing.
“I’m sorry I pounced on you like that. It wasn’t why I invited you here.”
“I know. I’m the one who invited it.”
Her exoneration was yet another unexpected blow that ratcheted his upheaval.
Feeling that anything he said now would make the situation worse somehow, he exhaled in frustration. “Maybe it’s better if I take you home now.”
Her eyes the darkest he’d seen them, she shook her head. “It’s better if you don’t. I’ll call a cab.”
He needed to argue, to convince her to let him see her home. Maybe he’d find something sane to say on the way to right the course of events that had devolved into this stilted mess. But he knew in his condition he’d only compound his mistakes.
Deciding to let her go, and to stay away from her until he got his act together, he exhaled. “I’ll get Paolo to take you home.” At her nod of consent, he reached for the intercom. “He lives on the premises, so he’ll bring the car to the front door in a couple of minutes.”
Without meeting his eyes, she again nodded, turned away and walked to the door. In seconds, she was gone.
He didn’t know how long he remained rooted, staring at the door through which she’d disappeared. All he could see was how she’d looked as she’d walked away. Steady yet subdued, the energy and fire he’d always seen and felt in her every step now gone, as if something had been extinguished inside her.
Collapsing on the nearest seat, he pitched forward, burying his face in shaking hands.
What had he done?
* * *
“Won’t you finally tell me what you did?”
Lili winced as Brian walked into her lab. His mood was so bright, she felt like closing her eyes to avoid its glare.
“I’ve been letting you get away with not telling me long enough,” he said, “but after this morning, I can’t wait any longer.”
Yeah. Because this morning Antonio had sent a decree down his chain of command that everyone in the lab had their choice of project, whether it was one of his, their original ones or a new endeavor. Not only that, but if anyone saw fit to work on several projects simultaneously, they would be given all logistical and financial support. For scientists, who were always tied up in endless financial red tape, to be given such free rein was a dream.
“For God’s sake, Lili, you have to tell me,” Brian urged. “The only things I don’t tell you are things you certainly don’t want to hear.”
She returned her eyes to her laptop to escape his merriment and curiosity. But she no longer saw the data she’d just inputted, what she believed was her first breakthrough, which had caused the first lift in her spirit in the last two weeks. The two weeks since she’d last seen Antonio.
“For the last time, Brian,” she mumbled. “I didn’t do anything. The man just reconsidered.”
“After you gave him all of your mind, not just a piece of it.” Brian perched his hip on her desk. “But I thought that only made him give you back your research. Judging from today’s developments, you must have done more.”