"Then some sucker will get lucky. And I call my insurance company to handle it."
"Oh." So practical.
It's not a real engagement ring. It never will be .
Why did a sad, hollow feeling creep over her then?
Reluctantly, she removed the faceted jewel from its satin cushion and slid it on. An exact fit. She stared at its over-the-top dazzle, shocked to see her left ring finger occupied. The first time since she'd removed her wedding band, left it on the kitchen counter, and walked away from her life with Trevor.
Memories and emotion welled up. Tears sprang to her eyes.
Crazy pregnancy hormones .
A tear slid loose and trickled down her cheek. She brushed it away quickly so Logan wouldn't notice.
But he did. "Something wrong?" he asked.
"No, nothing." Her nose started to run. "I'm just … I have to go to the bathroom." Unbuckling her seat belt she darted toward the rear of the plane.
Safely locked inside the small restroom, tears tumbled down her face. So many conflicting feelings from the past and present converged. An internal typhoon hit her. Sobs wracked her chest.
This is stupid , she berated herself between hiccups. She didn't miss or want Trevor, not for all the castles in France. Yet she still remembered so clearly the hope and promise of those long-ago vows, the pretty fairytales and happily-ever-after her wedding ring had signified. She also acutely experienced the sense of failure for leaving the man she'd sworn to love and stand by for all time. No matter what an awful person he was. So much pain and loneliness, so many nights in agony, tortured and broken-hearted. She thought she'd thrown off Trevor's chains, the manipulations he'd used to keep her shackled to him. She'd never stopped running, never stopped fearing. She hadn't felt safe enough to pause and heal the deeper hurt still lingering in the defeated places in her heart.
The ring she wore now held no expectations, no promises. No sentiment from Logan.
No surprise, considering she was closeted in a bathroom crying her eyes out, an ungodly mess. The man didn't deserve this kind of baggage.
Neither did she.
She had to let this go. The disappointment over her failed marriage may linger forever, but now that she was pregnant, the murky past was overshadowed by brighter possibilities. A baby, a pure little life undisturbed by history, didn't deserve to know the brutality one human being could inflict on another.
Trevor may have defeated her spirit once. But she could break this pattern of fear. No matter how vulnerable it made her, the defensive walls she clung to must fall. Though she wasn't clear on how to accomplish the fearlessness she envisioned for herself and her child, she believed her new determination was a good beginning.
The tears stopped. She reached for a fifth tissue and noticed a strange lightness within. She felt better, like she'd actually be okay.
As she blotted her face, the diamond on her finger glinted, a gentle wink. It was nothing more than a prop, a glittering shield to hide her pregnancy symptoms.
Yet somehow the physical solidness, the weight of it on her finger and the screen of protection it offered gave her comfort. She could be sick to her stomach, dizzy, or burst into tears … and it was all right. No need for excuses, or to pretend she was something she wasn't. The jewel symbolized a safety net that would catch her if the weight of her reality became too heavy to bear.
She heard a noise outside the bathroom door.
"You okay in there?" Logan's concerned voice penetrated the drone of the plane's engine.
"Never been better." Ironically, it was true.
She didn't dare look in the mirror. She blew her nose one more time and then opened the door. As if falling to pieces in an airplane bathroom and sobbing for ten minutes was perfectly normal.
When she stepped out, Logan assessed her. Seeing deep grooves crease his forehead, she assumed she must look awful. She brushed past him.
"Want to talk about it?" he asked.
"Can we talk about food? I'm starving."
"Is that all?"
"Yes."
His gaze was probing. "You sure?"
"Positive."
After he had her fed and content, she drifted off to sleep. At one point her head dropped forward, her hair sliding over her face like a variegated blonde curtain.
Worried she'd wake with a stiff neck, Logan crossed the aisle with a pillow. He lifted her face gently and tucked the pillow between her head and the window casing. He lowered the shade and let her sleep. She obviously needed it.
Her makeup was streaked from tears. He wanted to hold her, watch her sleep in his arms. His gaze drifted to her finger.
A thrill of triumph went through him. She still wore the ring, which sparked a reckless hope he had no business considering right now. As long as he didn't say anything to make her run for cover, he stood a chance.