This felt so right. So perfect. It was easy, right this moment, when things were wonderful, to think I was making the mistake of a lifetime by letting Tevin walk out of my life. But I knew it wouldn’t always be all happy times and sunshiny days. We didn’t have any history yet. We hadn’t been tested.
But the thought of never seeing him again…oh God, what was I going to do?
Tevin cupped my chin and gently lifted. How I craved his touch, how I longed for the sound of his voice. If I let him go, how long would I regret it? A month? A year? A lifetime?
“You’re quiet,” he said, his eyes searching my face.
“I’m thinking.”
“About?”
“About you. About me. About us.”
He nodded but didn’t speak, clearly looking for me to explain.
“This is all happening so quickly. We had a bumpy start. And you know I have trouble trusting people.”
“Which means…you’re not coming with me, are you?”
“I don’t know. My head tells me that a trip to Mordova isn’t a big deal. I’m not actually committing myself to anything, but my heart says something very different. If I go to your homeland and meet your family, and things go well, I think it would be hard to say goodbye to you. Much harder.”#p#分页标题#e#
“Why don’t you take it one step at a time? Don’t worry about the what-ifs yet. Think of it as a trip to Europe. A vacation. Nothing more.”
I let his words sink in. I let them bounce around in my head for a few seconds. Yes, that did make sense. If only I could stop the what-ifs from echoing in there, complicating things, making me second guess everything.
“That’s your problem, isn’t it?” he asked, his voice soft and low. “You can’t stop thinking about what’s next.”
“No, I guess not.”
“If you can’t live in this moment, you lose it. You lose a lot of life by always looking ahead to what’s next.”
“But that’s what I’ve had to do. To…survive.”
“I get that. But you don’t need to survive anymore. You’re safe now. Here, let me help you.” He leaned closer and whispered, “Shut your eyes.”
“When I close my eyes, it gets worse,” I admitted with a chuckle.
“Trust me.”
Trust him.
Trust him?
Could I really? Could I trust anyone but myself? If I were brutally honest, I hadn’t allowed myself to trust anyone for a long time. Years. The closest I had come was with Sasha, and even with her I didn’t allow myself to be too vulnerable.
“I’ll try,” I said.
“Thank you.” He paused. “You’re thinking now, aren’t you?”
“Yes. About what you’re going to do next,” I admitted.
“Clear your mind. Focus on what you hear. What do you hear now?”
“You. Talking.”
“What else?” I listened, really concentrated. “The hum of the tires. The rumble of the engine.”
“Good. Now focus on what you smell.”
I inhaled deeply. A little pulse of heat spread through me. “You. Your cologne. I like it.”
“What else?”
I pulled in another deep breath. “The car. It smells new. Like leather and carpet shampoo.”
“Good. Now concentrate on what you feel.” A single touch ran down the side of my face, and little quivers of pleasure vibrated through my body. “Your finger. Touching me.”
“What else?” That finger ran down my neck.
“Shivers. Heat. Cold,” I murmured as tingles burned down my spine.
“What else?” A puff of warm, sweet air caressed my face.
“You. Your nearness. Your heat.” I squirmed a little as some of that heat seemed to swirl around deep inside of my body.
“Good.” His finger traveled lower, gliding down the cleft between my breasts. In response, my body heated even more, the muscles in my back tensing and my mind shutting down as I became keenly focused on where he was touching me. “Ah, now I see you’re responding. What do you feel?”
“Heat.”
“What else?” he asked.
“Tightness. Everywhere.”
“What else?”
“Need.” The word slipped from my lips.
“Need,” he echoed as he cupped my breast through my bra.
Yes, that was it. That was what I was aching for. My spine arched, pushing my burning breast into his hand. But it wasn’t enough. I needed his skin gliding over mine.
No clothes. Nothing between us.
I whimpered, wriggled then reached up, shoving my hands under his shirt. His abs were like a model’s. My fingertips dipped into the groves cutting across the plane of smooth-skinned muscle.