Billionaire Bad Boys of Romance 2(98)
“That depends upon whether I can convince my family that there is a very good reason for me to come back, a reason that overrides my duties in my homeland.”
“Oh.” When he put it that way, it made me think he probably wouldn’t be coming back. I glanced in his eyes, catching a glimpse of some emotion I couldn’t quite name. It wasn’t desperation. No. He wasn’t desperate. But he was…conflicted maybe. “You’re not ready to go home yet?”
“Not really. But I can’t stay away much longer. I belong in Mordova with my family. I’m needed there. I sold my shares of the company I started her. So I’m not needed here.”
Not needed. Boy, did that hurt. But it was the truth, wasn’t it? Who needed him? Not his employees. He didn’t have any anymore. Not his boss. He didn’t have one of those. He didn’t have a wife. Or, technically, a girlfriend. I didn’t need him.
No, I didn’t.
But the thought of never seeing him again made my insides ache. It hurt worse than when I thought I was going to have to watch him date other women. At least then I was expecting to see him regularly. This was different. It was so…final.
Never was a long time.
Never was forever.
He set down his fork and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry for putting so much pressure on you. I promised I wouldn’t push it tonight, that we would enjoy the evening.” After giving his head a little nod, he said, “I won’t say another word about the trip.”
“No, it’s okay. Earlier, when you asked me to go with you, you didn’t tell me you might not be coming back. That puts a different spin on things. I understand now why you don’t want to let it go.”
His eyes locked on mine. “Do you?”
“Yes. Yes, I do.”
“So what are you thinking?” he asked, his voice soft.
“Honestly, I don’t know.”
He stood, circled around the table and squatted down beside me, putting his eyes level with mine. “I’m sorry for pressuring you. We haven’t known each other long. We don’t know each other well.” He shook his head. “On top of that, I lied to you. And you’ve had so many terrible tragedies in your life, heartbreaks, and disappointments. And now I’m asking you to just close your eyes and trust me. It isn’t fair of me to do that.”
“No, you’re right. Maybe it isn’t fair of you.”
“But I can’t help myself.” He shoved his fingers through his hair. “This is so new and exciting. People tell me it could all fizzle out down the road. My brother. My parents. But for some reason I don’t think it will. I think it’s real, what I feel for you. And I think you know it’s real too. I’ve never felt this way about a woman before. I feel like I can be me when I’m with you. I can let you see me at my worst and you won’t hate me for it.”
His words, and the emotion I heard behind them, touched me so deeply my eyes started burning. Never had a man said anything like this to me before. It made me want to believe him. I wanted him to be the smart, kind, gentle man that I saw here now, squatting on the dusty wood floor, looking up into my eyes. It made me want to believe he couldn’t hurt me, couldn’t disappoint me, couldn’t tear my heart into shreds and leave me to try to pick up the pieces.
Oh God. What if he did that? What if I did start to trust him, have faith in him, and he failed? And I was thousands of miles away from home? Away from Sasha. She was all I had in this world. Sasha and my job. If I went to Mordova, I would be losing both. I would be giving up everything.
“I can’t tell you yes. Not yet,” I admitted.
“That’s okay.” He blinked, and in his eyes I read disappointment. “I—“
Horns tooted as a parade of performers came bustling into the room.
“Oh, damn,” Tevin muttered as jugglers with knives, sword swallowers, and acrobats, all dressed in period garb tossed and swallowed and flipped. It was like a medieval circus. He stood, dragged his chair up next to mine, and sat. After taking his seat he reached for me, took my hand in his and together we watched the funny, exciting, thrilling performance. By the time it was done, I felt a little bit like royalty. The players had all focused their performance on us. I also felt a little breathless, probably because I’d held my breath during much of the performances as the jugglers and acrobats did things that terrified me.
Or maybe because I was about to close my eyes and take a huge leap of faith.
When the performance was over, our host and hostess, the king and queen of the festival returned, offered up one final toast to us and then escorted us to the front gate and our waiting limo. As we walked through the quiet fairgrounds, I couldn’t help noticing the chill in the air. Dark clouds had gathered, cutting off the weak light of dusk and the warmth that came with it. In the car, I cozied up to Tevin’s side for warmth, but also because I felt drawn to him, as if an invisible energy, a force of some kind, was pulling me closer, closer. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder.