The problem was, she didn’t know if Kaiser felt the same. Was she just his pliable, expendable secretary…or something more? She didn’t know, and she was truly afraid to find out.
“I’m hungry.” Lenny stood up and stretched, grabbing the remote to pause Julie and Julia—Meryl Streep as Julia Childs filled the screen, mouth half-open, eyes half-closed, ridiculously frozen.
“You’re just hungry because we’re watching a movie about food.” Heidi smiled. “Besides, we just ate an hour ago.”
“An hour’s about right. We ate Chinese food, remember?” he reminded her. “What do you have in the fridge?”
“Not much, I’m afraid…” she apologized as she followed him to the kitchen, leaning against the counter and watching him start to forage.
“What the hell is this? Where’s the Cheez-Whiz?” Lenny frowned into the refrigerator, finding strawberries, organic milk, two cucumbers and some Laughing Cow cheese, which he tossed back onto a shelf in disgust. He slammed the fridge and scanned the top, where Heidi usually kept the real goodies. “Where’re the Cheetos? Don’t you have any more Ho-Ho’s? Someone needs to go shopping!”
She shrugged. “I’ve kind of been…watching my weight.”
“What the hell for?” His eyes brightened when he opened the reserve cupboard and found a half-full bag of pretzels. “You worked around models every day and didn’t diet…why would you…” His hand paused halfway to his mouth, his eyebrows going up. “Ohhhhhhh, I see! Is that how it is?”
“Shut up.” Heidi looked at the linoleum. “Don’t say it.”
Lenny crunched a handful of pretzels, swallowing before asking, “Kaiser’s got you in training, doesn’t he?”
She met his gaze, too surprised not to speak. “What do you mean?”
“Everyone knows what he does with his secretaries.” Lenny smirked, carrying the pretzels with him back to the living room. Heidi followed, settling herself on the couch next to him.
“They do?” she inquired, watching him open another beer from the six-pack he’d brought and wondering if she could let him drive home.
“He pull out his crop yet?” He looked at her pointedly over the bottle and her flush was clearly enough of a response for him. “His particular fetish is more obvious and well-known than he thinks it is.”
She reached for the remote, wanting to restart the movie and end this conversation, but Lenny got to it first, holding it out of her reach. “Does he hurt you?”
“No.” She denied it, and it was true. Sort of true. How could she possibly explain? It was bad enough knowing he knew…that others must know. Oh god, had Carvel known? Did Andrea know? The thought made her want to curl into the fetal position. “Not much,” she explained, her voice soft and far away, along with her thoughts. “Not in a bad way. Not… on the outside.”
“Uh oh.” Lenny groaned, tossing the pretzels on the coffee table and taking another swig of beer. “Look, sex games are one thing, but man…Heidi, don’t get your heart involved, okay? He’s going to break it, guaranteed.”
“I think he already has.” She felt tears stinging her eyes and turned her face away, back to Julia Childs interrupted, not wanting him to see.
“You got it bad.” He sighed, moving toward her on the sofa and sliding an arm around her shoulder.
“You have no idea.” Turning her face toward him now, she pressed her cheek against his chest and let him pull her close.
“So that’s what’s got you so quiet?” he murmured, kissing the top of her head.
Had she been quiet? Probably. Her thoughts were full of Kaiser and Andrea and the dread of future possibility. It was like waiting for the shock of some twisted reverse-Christmas-morning. “Sort of.”#p#分页标题#e#
“Tell.”
She sighed, shrugged. “It’s complicated.”
“I’ve got all night.” He gave her a gentle, reassuring squeeze and she found herself feeling too safe and secure in the circle of his arms, her guard dissolving. She’d been dying to tell someone…
“There’s this woman…” she began, and before she knew it, she’d spilled it all, from Kaiser’s training her to Andrea’s stealing her designs, and when she was done, Lenny’s shirt was wet with tears.
“Oh my god, Heidi…” he murmured, rocking her, and she let him, craving the comfort. “Why didn’t you tell him?”
“Tell him?” Heidi snorted a laugh, wiping at her face with the back of her hand and finding it streaked with mascara. She’d changed into jeans and a t-shirt when she got home, but had forgotten how made up she was. What a mess…”I can’t tell him. I can’t prove anything.”