Maybe what I’d always taken as shy reserve had been something else. If anyone had hurt her, they were in for a world of fuckery. Before the week was out I was gonna get to the bottom of all the shit she’d endured while I’d been off saving the world, and heads were gonna roll. But fuck it; if someone had out hands on her I was sure to end up in the pen.
Looking at her now I questioned everything I’d been led to believe over the years. All those reports I’d had from the aunt that had kept me from worrying, and made me believe she was growing the way a young girl should. Even her school reports had been encouraging, and the aunt had nothing to do with those.
But I was beginning to think there was something else going on here other than an innate shyness on her part. Not my Jessie, not my babygirl. I would’ve endured any kind of hell to see that she never suffered any of the shit I’d seen.
I hope to fuck that it’s just her sweet shyness and nothing more, but whether it was or not, I didn’t want her to be one of those timid types who were afraid of their own shadow. Whatever had happened before today I will deal with, but she was no one’s victim, I wouldn’t let her be.
I’d done everything I could over the years to foster her independence. I paid for extra shit that the aunt said she was interested in to try to break her out of that shell, but I couldn’t see where it had helped much. That got me to thinking now that I wasn’t such a blind ass.
“How’s your karate class coming?” She looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language and I could feel the blood starting to burn under my skin.
“What karate lessons?” She had a befuddled look on her face and I cleared my throat and tried for peace. If there’s one thing I hate it’s being made to look like a fool, and right now I was feeling like the world’s biggest ass.
If it wasn’t for her and my need to get her as far away from Sal the fuck as possible, I would go back there and finish what I started. “Did you take ballet or piano or anything like that outside of your regular classes?”
Those are all the things I’d been told in the almost three years since I saw her that she was suddenly interested in. Of course I never thought to ask her until now.
Though I’d looked forward to those calls I’d always kept them short and Dee was usually hovering somewhere in the background.
I knew she was going to say no before she started shaking her head at me and was already in motion. That was the last fucking straw, this bitch was either crazy or fuck stupid. Either way she was beyond fucked.
I held up my finger for silence, before dragging on my pants and heading towards the door. I didn’t want to do this in front of her and I wasn’t in the mood to wait. I hit speed dial and was answered almost immediately.
“Jason, I need a solid. I need you to look up Dee Reynolds and Sal Jones in Dorset. I want all their financial information down to the penny. Call me back as soon as you’ve got something.”
My next call was to her old home. That call was answered in pretty much the same haste but for different reasons I’m sure. Jason would know that a call from me on his secure line at this time was serious business. These two I’m sure were waiting up in case I came back for their ass.
“By my reckoning you owe me quite a few grand for the past few years of bullshit classes that she never took. I’m going to give you exactly one day to have my fucking money or I’m gonna break your fucking neck.”
“What money? We’ve had the care of her for almost nine years and…”
“And I paid you for her upkeep and then some. What the fuck did you do with my money?” I was getting more heated by the minute.
Not only because she’d ripped me off, but because all this time I’d been thinking my girl was getting a wide and varied education, while all the while this bitch was doing who the fuck knows with my money.
My phone beeped while I was on with her. “You would be wise to have my shit when I get there, and if you even think about running this shit will be ten times worse you lying bitch.”
I switched over to Jason because other than strangling her ass, which was impossible at this very minute, I had fuck else to say to her.
“What you got for me?”
“They have a shitload of crap bro, but no real cash to speak of. I found about twelve grand in cash, which I can move you just say the word. ”
“I want it all, down to the house they live in now, all that should be left is the clothes on their backs and nothing else, not even a bus ticket.” I hung up the phone and went back inside with a heavy heart.
I’d fucked up; there was no other way to look at it. I could pass the blame but I don’t believe in lying to myself. How the fuck had they got the drop on me though? That shit hurt. Not that they’d hoodwinked me, but that they’d hurt her in the process. My babygirl: fuck.
All this time I thought I was giving her a better life and these fuckers were taking advantage of both of us. How the fuck had I made it so easy for them? How long was this going on? Was it only after I pulled the runner two and a half years ago, or was it always like this? I was more inclined to believe the latter.
There was no point in rehashing the shit in my head now, best to move forward and make up for my screw up. But this shit’s looking more and more like somebody’s gonna end up dead. I hate to be fucked with.
I headed back to the room and her, once again with that feeling that I’d let her down eating away at me. What must she think of me? Was I any better than the old drunk that had sold her to me?
At least with him she knew there was no hope. But me, I came along and sold her dreams and happily fucking ever after and look at this bullshit. Cluster-fuck me up the ass with a sledgehammer.
As I hit the door I realized I’d forgotten all about room service. Damn, looks like I was still fucking up. I didn’t like the way any of this shit was making me feel.
I had been looking forward to us, her and me. To spoiling the fuck out her for the rest of our lives. For a long time now I’ve had this picture of her in my head. She was always laughing and happy. The shit I was providing for her was making sure that she never knew a day’s want or neglect.
I hated the fact that I’d been such an ass. All these years I’d been no better than the fucker that had sold his own blood to me. That shit left a fucked up taste in my mouth.
I felt a burning in my gut as I thought of the hell those two must’ve put her through while I was playing possum. How fucking blind had I been? And all because I was afraid of my dick, I was beyond disgusted with myself.
She was waiting up for me when I got back inside. I wasn’t about to burden her with anymore bullshit for tonight. I wanted her to get past this shit and move the fuck on herself, though I knew that was gonna take some time.
But there was one thing I needed to know. One thing that just couldn’t wait. I couldn’t have been wrong about all this shit, could I? If she erased that image I have of her as a happy kid I think I’d fucking lose my shit.
“Did you ever have any interest in any of those things I asked you about?” she was back to picking at the sheets again as she gave it some thought. Then she looked up at me with those innocent eyes and I felt the pull in my gut.
“I did use to, but aunt Dee always said it wasn’t needed, that it was selfish of me to want those things after everything else you’d done.” I think I’m gonna fucking cry.
“Tell me sweetheart, was there ever anything you were interested in doing outside of school that you got to do?” I held my breath hoping against hope. It had meant something to me, knowing all these years that I was doing something good, something decent.
Knowing that I was saving a little girl from the same fate as me. That shit had got me through some tough shit. Knowing that there was someone halfway around the world who needed me had kept me warm on many a cold night.
Hearing that it was all a lie was like being back in the midst of hell again. I could tell she didn’t want to answer me, maybe because my face was starting to look like I’d slaughter half a damn village with my bare hands. “Answer me sweetheart.”
“You mean other than our trips together when I was little?”
“Yeah baby, that’s what I mean.” She shook her head and broke my fucking heart. I covered my mouth with my hand to hold back the tidal wave that was coming.
Now that I’d unerringly opened the floodgates I wanted to know it all, down to the last fucking detail. But instead of diving head first into the conversation, I decided to change shit up. There was only so much control I could exert over myself and I think I’d reached my limit.
I already knew what had to be done, but I was dead serious about her not ever having to face this bullshit again. So it was best if I left this shit alone for another day. Maybe after I’d shown her how life with me was going to be, then we could take this shit out and shrug at it.
Right now though I was feeling pretty raw and I knew she had to be too, so once again I moved away from the fuckery for both our sakes.
“We forgot to order, what do you want? You can have anything you’d like.” I kept my tone light as I moved over towards her and sat on the bed. She bit her lip as we looked over the menu together. So fucking innocent. Mine.