I wanted so badly to run my fingers over the ink that covered his arms and part of his neck. Not to mention the markings on his chest that I’d gotten a glimpse of just once, so long ago.
It hurt because he could never be mine, not in the way my poor stupid girl heart had wanted for so long. And because I knew he’d never take me in his arms and love me the way I’ve always dreamed. Dreams that had become harder and harder to avoid here lately…
I felt the old familiar bitterness in my gut start climbing up my throat to strangle me. It wasn’t right to feel this way I knew, but why was my life always so unfair? I’ve never caught a break as far as I can remember; except for that fateful night he came into my life and saved me. That, I must admit, was the best day of my entire existence and probably always will be. Only he could top it, and…
I did my little internal monologue thing, where I told myself to be grateful. Things could’ve turned out so differently back then. There could’ve been someone else in that parking lot that night, someone less honorable. He’d done so much already, I shouldn’t want more, but I did.
I tuned out of the past and back into the here and now when I realized that no one was saying or doing anything. Not since he’d told me to stay put, which was a first, but one that gave me pure joy. He held my head against his chest with one hand at my nape, while the other covered the back of my head protectively.
“Screw you, she stays right where she is.” There was such venom in his voice.
“Creed?” I tried to pull my head back to look into his face. There was so much anger, I could feel it radiating in his body now. “Shh, you’re fine.”
He was staring back at her but not in the way he once did, like everything she said was truth. I felt the first stirring of hope in a long time when he kissed my forehead, gave me a tight squeeze, and pushed me behind him protectively.
"Where is he?" I wasn't sure what to think about his question but I started to get nervous. She didn't answer him right away but instead glared at me, which is her usual. I fought back the fear as I clung onto the back of his shirt. He seemed to sense my discomfort because his hand reached back and covered mine before he turned back to her.
"What's going on? Why are you here without letting us know you were coming?" She started doing that nervous cleaning thing she always does, as I watched him watch her. One part of me was hoping that he knew the truth finally, and another was too embarrassed to even contemplate it.
"I said where is he?"
"If you're talking about Sal he's not here." She made herself busy as my pulse raced in fear and hope. I was beginning to think that someone somewhere had told him, because I sure hadn’t; but who, how?
"Baby I want you to go upstairs and get your stuff together. Just what you need for now, like your important papers and stuff like that." His words were whisper soft in my ear as he turned just his head to me.
That second kiss, this time closer to the corner of my mouth made my heart do cartwheels in my chest, and my body tingled in that old familiar way I was getting used to whenever I thought of him.
I didn't stop to question, not even when she asked him what he thought he was doing. "What're you doing? You can't just come in here and change things up without any notice. What's she doing up there?" I didn't hear anymore after that but I sure did move fast getting what little I needed together.
I had hoped and prayed for this day for so long that it was hard to believe that it was actually here; but why now? And why was he acting like he knew more than he should? I wasn’t about to question anything though, this is what I wanted, what I’d always wanted since my feelings for him had changed.
It wasn’t even a gradual build up either that change, it just hit me one day out of the blue, like a ton of bricks falling from the sky, and I haven’t been the same since.
And now he was here and he was taking me away with him. I didn’t care where just as long as he was there I knew all would be well. I wouldn’t let my heart really enjoy until I was well away from this place though. Please don’t let her sway him like she usually does.
I hastily threw the only things that meant anything to me into my little cloth sack at the thought. There wasn’t much, mostly mementos and keepsakes from our times together over the years. Whatever she hadn’t found and discarded every chance she got that is.
I didn’t want to take too long, just in case it was a dream and he was gone when I got back down there. Or worse yet she was able to convince him with her lies. I couldn’t stand that, not after he’d held me like that, not after the promise of being taken away from here. I’d just die.
Chapter 2
Creed
I looked at the woman in front of me wordlessly. I hadn't come here for this, not yet, not in front of my babygirl. I’d made a conscious choice a long time ago that none of the darkness of life would ever touch her again. That I would stand between her and whatever came. That’s why although I was prepared for war, I’d come here knowing that I wouldn’t shed blood in front of her.
In fact I'd come for one thing and one thing only, to take what was mine and get the fuck out. I'd done nothing but think on my way here and I could kick my own ass for leaving things this long. I should've come for her as soon as she was of legal age and fuck society's mores. If I had none of this would’ve happened.
"Did you know?" I barely kept myself from crossing the room to her, because even as I asked- I already knew. I watched her now as she fidgeted; nothing but nerves. She was about to become the first female I fucking offed. Hold it, babygirl’s upstairs, remember? No bloodshed asshole.
"Know what, what's gotten into you? First you show up out of nowhere and then you ask all these strange questions." I could break this bitch's neck. Not only because she was a fuck up, but because she'd fooled me into thinking that she could be trusted, and by so doing had put my babygirl in danger.
My babygirl fuck! There was a time when that meant something a whole lot different than it does now. Back then it meant pigtails and cotton candy on a bright summer day. Now, now it meant hot nights and sweat.
Yeah, that’s what I think about now when I picture her. Under me, with me buried so deep inside her there was no end and no beginning, and the heat of our bodies making us sweat. I shook it off when it was getting to be too much. Now was not the time, but soon.
I moved forward towards my prey, willing myself not to strangle her ass before I got my answers. "Did you fucking know what he was doing to her?" It was the flinch that gave her away. If she'd looked confused in the least I would've given her a break, but her reaction convinced me that she either knew or suspected, either way she was aware.
"Tell me where the fuck he is or you can get some of what he has coming to him."
"How do you know it's even true? You know she's always making things up to make us look bad."
Hearing her say that in that familiar way, reminded me of every time she'd convinced me of just that shit in the past. Every time my babygirl would write or call me with a complaint, she'd give me the same half ass excuse. And me being a fucking hump would always fall for the okey-doke.
Now as I stood there I recalled plenty of things that were warning signs, if only I'd paid attention instead of running. There had been so much that I missed because I was too fucking lax.
I’d bought this one’s bullshit over the years hook line and sinker. What had that done to the young girl up those stairs? What else had she been subjected to, what had she endured because of me?
I felt shame and rage fight each other for dominance within me, as I dealt with my part in this farce. How many times had she cried out to me before I put a wedge between us? A wedge that I thought was needed to protect her from me.
How was I to know that someone else would try to take what's mine, what's always been meant for me? When I thought I was protecting her I was leaving her in harm’s way all along. Somebody was gonna pay for that shit.
"She didn't tell me shit, it’s fuck this shit o’clock, and I just rode a long way. Now start talking before I break every bone in your body starting with your fucking back." I was this fucking close. That haze of rage was threatening to overshadow everything else, even my need to protect my girl from bullshit.
I could see the lies forming in her eyes before she even opened her mouth, and felt sick to my stomach. How many times had I seen that look, how often have I fallen for it? What a fucking cluster fuck. Later, you can kick your own ass later; right now you have a couple enemies to annihilate.
"Jessie's been acting up a lot lately, you know she's started college these two years past and she thinks she's an adult. Sal and I do everything we can for that girl you know that, but she's a tad headstrong and ungrateful..."
It was the same fucking spiel I'd heard a thousand times before, only this time I wasn't buying that shit.
How had she felt all those years when she’d been trying to tell me the shit that was happening to her and I believed this bitch’s word over hers? Granted that shit was nothing compared to this but still?
Would I have ignored her this time as well, had she tried to tell me? Since it had been a while since she’d even tried. Would I have been able to see the truth? I hope to fuck that I would’ve.