From what I gathered, I found out that I was a virgin. I had heard the term before but didn't know what it meant. Now I knew it was what my mom meant when she called me “pure”. She always told me that it was my duty to lay with a man but not until I was of age. I didn't find out that the age would be eighteen until it was my birthday.
Birthdays were always a special day for me. It wasn't like the ones I'd seen on TV though. Those birthdays had cakes, presents, and friends. Not for me, my birthdays were a little different. Birthdays were the day that my mom cooked whatever meal I chose for dinner. I also got the day off from school which was a huge deal since my mom made me study every single day.
The night before, I did what my mom had told me was forbidden. I'd been doing it for the past few weeks without telling her. It felt so amazing. I didn't no why she always told me never to do it. She just always said, “Taylor, you must never touch yourself down there. When you're old enough, that is the job of the man. I never disobeyed my mom but I couldn't help myself. I was addicted.
While in bed, I slipped my hand under the covers until my fingers found my warm wetness. I rubbed my fleshy hood around in circles. Pleasure pulsed throughout my body sending it into overdrive. I rubbed harder and faster. My head was swimming with ecstasy. My muscles tensed up. I could feel it building more and more. I wanted to feel that release so badly.
I bit my bottom lip. I was so close. My hand gripped the comforter as the pleasure exploded inside me. My whole body writhed on the bed like a demon possessed. Small moans escaped my mouth. My eyes rolled into the back of my head from the intensity. Then the ecstasy slowly subsided and my muscles relaxed. My chest heaved up and down from exhaustion. I wanted to do it again but I was afraid. My mother must've had a reason for warning me against it. I decided not to push my luck.
I woke up that morning with a huge smile on my face. I had the whole day to do whatever I wanted. I wished that I could watch TV but I knew my mom was going to be home all day. I had a few books to read for pleasure but they weren't my idea of fun. I had to get approval for every book that I wanted to read. If it didn't have to do with Jesus or the bible then I usually wasn't allowed to read it.
My favorite thing to do was laying in the grass in the backyard. I would stare at the clouds, naming all the shapes I could see. It was something I always did as a kid and it made me feel carefree again. I wanted to spend the whole day in the grass, getting all itchy.
My mom came into my room, carrying a tray of cereal and orange juice. “Happy Birthday! Taylor!” she announced. “I brought you breakfast in bed.”
“Thank you, mom!” I said from under the covers. My eyes were still tired and I wanted to sleep just a little longer.
My mother set the tray down on the bed. “Eat up, it's your special day! We can talk after you've gotten ready for the day.” I'd never seen my mom in such a good mood before. In fact, she had never made me breakfast in bed before. Why was this birthday any different from the others? And what did she need to talk about?
After she left, I dipped my spoon into the non-sugary cereal and swirled it around. I always hated this cereal I took a bite and swallowed it. It was so boring. I took a swig of the orange juice to wash it down. I finished my breakfast and got up to get ready for the day. I went to my closet which consisted of bland outfits. Most of them were flowing dresses and only in white.
It didn't take much to get ready in the morning. I wasn't allowed to wear makeup even though my mom did. When I was younger, I would sit in the bathroom and watch her apply it to her face. The ritual was fascinating to me. Now that I was older, I hoped that they would one day let me use it too.
I ran downstairs to find only my mom cooking some food. She was in such a good mood. I started to believe that she liked my birthdays more than I did. I was a little disappointed because my step-father was probably still out of town on sales. He wasn't going to be here on my birthday.
“What are you going to do today, honey?” my mom politely asked.
I sat down at the small kitchen table. “I was thinking about going outside in the backyard and relaxing.”
“Well that sounds nice,” she replied. “Make sure to wear some sun tan lotion. You wouldn't want that beautiful skin of yours to get burned.”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course mother.”
“Before you go out though, we need to talk about your birthday.” She stopped with whatever she was cooking and sat down next to me.
“Okay...”
My mom continued, “The eighteenth birthday is very special for the girls in our family. It's the day when you finally become a woman.” I had no idea what she was talking about. I hadn't heard anything about turning eighteen before. “We can get into specifics later but first I have a couple gifts for you.”