Big Love(20)

“Guilt?”

“That’s it,” Zing said. “I have a big wad of guilt in my tummy and I don’t like it.”

“Yeah, it’s a bad one,” Nell said.

Zing thrust her box of donuts at Nell and said, “Give these to Homeless Tom.”

“That’s very sweet, but you worked for your donuts,” Nell said, refusing to take the box. She poured Tom a coffee, adding three sugars and a lot of milk. “I can make him a sandwich or something.”

“But aren’t donuts his favorite?”

“Duh,” Carol said. “Why do you think he comes by here every day?”

“Don’t be mean,” Nell scolded Carol.

Zing shook her head. “I can’t eat these donuts when Homeless Tom needs them more. He must have them. Do you think he’d like the rest of my ice cream on his donuts?”

Carol rolled her eyes. “Sure, he might be just as weird as you.”

“Come on, Zing, let’s go give Tom his donuts and coffee,” Nell said. She took Zing by the elbow and guided her toward the back door.

On the way through the kitchen, Zing opened the freezer and grabbed what was left of her Rocky Road ice cream. She turned to Nell with a bright smile on her face. She was anxious to meet Homeless Tom. “Do think he’ll like me?”

“Of course he’ll like you,” Nell said. “You know, you’re doing a very nice thing, Zing. You’re giving Tom your donuts, and you like those best in the world. So that makes it a sacrifice, which is much harder to do than if you didn’t care about them in the first place.”

“Being human is a lot harder than it appears,” Zing said. “Sometimes doing the right thing hurts.”

Nell put her hand on Zing’s forearm and smiled at her. “You’re very sweet, you know that?”

“I do have a sweet tooth,” Zing said. “Miracle told me that means I like sweet things to eat. Do you think that’s what makes me sweet?”

Nell laughed. “No. I think you’re sweet just because you are. And I find it refreshing. It’s one of the things I like most about you.”

“Oh?” Zing said, feeling a rush of warmth to places in her body she’d ever really noticed before. “What else do you like about me?”

Nell smiled mysteriously, stood on tippy-toe, and kissed Zing on the cheek. Zing’s heart began to race. She felt her face get hot. Her tummy felt funny, too. This wasn’t guilt or fear or any other emotion she’d ever felt before. It felt scary, but she also liked it. In fact, she liked it a lot. It was a lot like the rollercoaster only better.

Carol walked into the kitchen and grimaced when she saw Nell and Zing standing so close together and gazing into each other’s eyes. “Your face is all red, Zing,” Carol said, taking off her apron and throwing it in the hamper by the door. “Hot flash?”

“I don’t know what’s happening,” Zing said. “Nell touched my arm and then kissed me. I got hot and my knees are weak and my ears are buzzing.”

Carol shot Nell a look. Nell quickly took her hand off Zing’s arm.

“But I like it when you touch me,” Zing said.

“Yeah, I bet you do,” Carol growled.

There was a rap on the back door. “That must be Tom,” Nell said in an overly bright voice. She threw open the back door to reveal Homeless Tom. He was talking to Miracle, who was dressed in Wranglers tucked into red cowboy boots, and a Michigan Women’s Music Festival T-shirt was stretched tight over her ample bosom. A big red canvas bag was slung over her shoulder.

Miracle was saying to Tom, “I know just what you mean, sugar. It’s a loss of dignity and an infringement of your civil rights.”

“Miracle!” Zing said.

“It’s not a miracle,” Carol grumbled. “Tom shows up here every damn day.”

“No. I meant that’s my friend, Miracle,” Zing said.

“It’s a miracle you have friends,” Carol said.

“Hi there, Zing!” Miracle said. “I was just talking to Tom while I waited for you to get off work.” She looked at Carol and Nell, saying, “He was just telling me that he wasn’t allowed to ride the bus anymore.”

“What?” Carol and Nell said at the same time.

“The Transit Authority is refusing to. . .” Tom put up air quotes with his fingers, “transport known indigents.”

“You gotta be effin’ kidding me,” Carol said.

“They said they won’t let him on the bus because he’s not wearing an Armani suit,” Miracle said. “Sounds like a line of bullshit, if you ask me.”