I didn’t give a shit what they wrote about me, but Audrey Ross must have been reeling after reading all this.
She was a virgin.
My brain kept coming back to that point.
It couldn’t be helped. I was, after all, a full-blooded American male with a pulse. And despite the speculation about my manhood on FaceSpace, my equipment still worked just fine.
She was a virgin.
I clicked on Audrey’s name in one of the threads and it took me to her profile page.
Audrey Ross, age twenty-two, hometown Orlando, business major, relationship status single. Well, that could explain the virginity part.
She was a pretty girl, with long dark hair and blue eyes. I clicked on her photos. Lots of pictures with friends. I didn’t see a boyfriend in any of the pictures. She smiled a lot, especially when she was with her family. I recognized Rachel the pussy flasher in several pictures.
What an odd pairing: Rachel the brilliant slut and Audrey the pretty girl who had to try hard to get a B.
She was not smiling this morning, I thought.
My eyes went to the message button on her profile page. I didn’t know why—maybe it was because I was sober or maybe it was because I knew I was about to lose tenure anyway—but I clicked on the message button and began to type.
CHASE: Are you OK?
The cursor blinked for a moment as it waited for her to reply. I glanced at the clock. It was just after nine a.m. on a Saturday. She was probably still asleep. I was about to close the laptop and go take a much-needed shower when the computer dinged with her reply.
AUDREY: Is this really Prof. Hollander?
CHASE: Yes.
AUDREY: Prove it.
CHASE: How?
AUDREY: Tell me why you gave me an F?
I pondered my reply. There was only one answer.
CHASE: I was drunk. I gave everyone an F. I’m sorry.
AUDREY: You must have been really drunk.
CHASE: I was.
AUDREY: Is that something you do often? Get so drunk you do stupid things to hurt innocent people?
I didn’t have to ponder that answer. I’d gotten drunk and done stupid things to innocent people my entire life.
CHASE: Yes.
AUDREY: I still don’t believe it’s you.
I lit a cigarette and searched my memory for something that would prove I was the asshole who had given her the F.
CHASE: You told me once that you had ADD. I told you to work harder.
The cursor blinked for a moment.
AUDREY: YOU’RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE!
CHASE: You’ll get no argument from me.
AUDREY: Why would you give me an F????
CHASE: Like I said, I was drunk. And I’m sorry.
AUDREY: Asshole.
CHASE: Are you really a virgin?
The cursor blinked for nearly a minute. I smoked the cigarette and thought about slamming the laptop shut and getting the fuck out of town. I was probably going to be fired on Monday, and now I was sexually harassing a student. Boy, Chase, could you sink any lower? My hand was resting on the top of the screen, about to close it down, when her response came through.
AUDREY: Yes, I’m a virgin. Why would you ask me that?
CHASE: Just curious. I was a virgin once. A long time ago.
The cursor blinked for a moment.
AUDREY: Is that something you can help me with?
CHASE: Yes.
AUDREY: Will you teach me everything?
My jaw literally dropped as I read the words. I rested my fingers on the keys for a moment without typing. What the hell… How do you respond to something like that? I typed in my response and hit enter before I could change my mind.
CHASE: I’m going to teach you how to come and I’m going to make sure you get an A.
AUDREY: I promise to be a good student.
CHASE: Would you like to come over now?
There was no hesitation this time.
The cursor barely had time to blink.
AUDREY: Text me your address. I’ll be there within the hour.
CHAPTER EIGHT: Audrey
Don’t ask me what I was thinking.
I didn’t stop to think.
I was too tired to think.
I’d tossed and turned all night worrying about that stupid FaceSpace post and how everyone thought it was hilarious that I was still a virgin.
I didn’t wake up this morning worrying about getting an F. I woke up worried about what else had been posted while I was asleep.
Before I could look at the posts that had been added overnight, Professor Hollander messaged me. He apologized for giving me an F and then asked if it was true: Was I really a virgin? What the heck kind of a thing was that to ask one of your students whom you barely knew?
So, what was I thinking?
Not a fucking thing.
I just read the words on the screen and decided to act. When Professor Hollander asked if it was true, if I was a virgin, I didn’t blink and I didn’t think. I just typed the words and calmly waited for him to respond.
Yes, I’m a virgin. Is that something you can help me with?
Yes. Would you like to come over now?