It would be gone by the time I got home.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: Audrey
Rachel’s eyes were as big as saucers as she stared across the table at me. The Starbucks on campus was packed, so we were grabbing a cup of coffee at a little off-campus shop called Brewster’s. It was much quieter than Starbucks and the coffee didn’t taste like burnt shoe leather. Or Chase’s prehistoric K-cups.
“You and Professor Hollander spent the weekend together?” Rachel said, her mouth hanging open. “No fucking way.”
“Yes, fucking way,” I said, proudly flexing my eyebrows. “And yes, we fucked in every way you can imagine. We might have even done a few things that you’ve never done.”
“I find that hard to believe,” she said with a grin. She threw her hands in the air and looked at the ceiling. “Thank the lord this all worked out okay. I just knew you were never going to speak to me again after Duke posted that shit on FaceSpace.”
“Duke’s an asshole,” I said.
“I know,” Rachel said. “But he’s hung like a horse.”
“I know. That’s the important thing.”
“Speaking of hung, how was Professor Hollander in bed? Were you adequately satisfied?”
I grinned at her. “Yes, adequately satisfied in every way,” I said with a sigh.
“So, what now?” Rachel asked. “You want me to fix you up with one of Duke’s pals so you can work on perfecting your technique?”
I shook my head. “No, actually. Chase and I…”
“Oh shit,” she said, putting a hand to her mouth.
I blinked at her. “What is it?”
“You’re gonna see him again, aren’t you?”
“Well, yes. I was thinking…”
“Audrey, you can’t do that,” she said.
“Why can’t I?”
“Because the man is old enough to be your father for one,” she said, scolding me with her eyes.
“Seriously? You’re going to play the age card? You, the girl who fucked a sixty-year-old man just to see what it would be like?”
“I was doing Viagra research,” Rachel said with a smirk. “And that old man was not a professor.”
“What’s that got to do with anything?”
“Audrey, Chase Hollander is a professor. There are rules. He can’t get involved with you. They’ll fire his ass.”
I blinked at her. “They will?”
“Of course they will. There are strict rules about professors and students getting involved. Why do you think I haven’t fucked more professors?”
“I just assumed you preferred dumb jocks with big cocks,” I said, trying to laugh when I really wanted to cry. I hadn’t thought about what our relationship might do to Chase’s career. If we were discovered, he could be fired on the spot, tenured or not. And his career was really all he had left.
“Shit, Rach, what am I going to do?” I asked with tears welling in my eyes. “I mean, I think I really like him. I mean I really, really like him.”
“Well, if you like him you’ll leave him alone,” she said, wagging a finger at me. “You need to just thank him for popping your cherry and move along. You don’t want to be responsible for that man losing his job, especially is he’s as fucked up as you say he is.”
“I didn’t say he was fucked up,” I said defensively.
“He’s a forty-three-year-old man with a drinking problem and a death wish,” she said. “That’s fucked up. You do not need that shit in your life. The grades were fixed this morning. You got your B. Now let it go. Leave Chase Hollander alone and get on with your life.”
“I don’t know if I can do that,” I said, biting my lip to keep from crying.
Rachel squeezed my arm. “Audrey, you have no choice. The man has enough problems. Don’t make yourself one of them.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO: Chase
I sat in the parking lot outside Nancy Dorfmann’s office with the unopened fifth of whiskey nestled between my legs, thinking about the mess I’d made of my life.
My baby girl was dead.
My wife was gone.
My career was over.
My hopes and dreams had disappeared long ago.
Everything was all gone.
The only thing left for me now was to be gone myself.
My phone was lying in the seat next to me. It buzzed and I glanced over at the screen. It was Audrey calling to see how my meeting with Dorfmann went. Audrey, the one ray of sunshine in an otherwise dark and hopeless world.
I thought about ignoring the call and just letting it go to voice mail, but I owed her more than that. I blew out a long breath as I brought the phone to my ear and said, “Hey.”