Over the next few days of learning just a tiny bit about himself, he began to develop (loath though he was to admit it) some respect for the man who had sired him. Adam was indeed given to strange amusements, prone to meddle and to be prankish. However, considering the extent of what his "blackest elf" could actually do, Circenn realized that Adam generally exercised admirable restraint. He also began to realize how mortals, who had no such magic, could so gravely misunderstand those who wielded it.
He eyed his father, who was bent over an ancient tome from which he'd been reading aloud, giving Circenn more background on his race. It was difficult to conceive of the exotic man as his father, for Adam wore his customary glamour that made him seem even younger than Circenn.
"Adam, what of this bond I have with her? What happened that night when she and I…"
"Made love? Ah, tupped as Duncan would say." Adam raised his head from the book. "What did Morganna tell you when you were a lad?"
"About what? She told me many things." Circenn shrugged.
"What did she tell you about spilling your seed in a woman?" Adam asked, trying not to laugh.
"Oh, that. She told me it would fall off," Circenn muttered darkly.
Adam tossed back his head, shaking with mirth. "That is exactly something Morganna would have said. She knew better than to reason with the stubborn boy you were. And did you ever spill in a woman?"
"Nay. At first I believed her and feared it would indeed fall off. Then, when I was old enough to realize she'd been jesting with me, I didn't because I didn't wish to scatter my bastards across the land. Finally, when I wed Naya and was ready to have a family, I discovered what you had done—
"I told you the same day, didn't I? I knew you would plan children."
"You told me to prevent me?" Circenn said, startled.
"Of course. I knew what would happen if you did. You would have been bound to a woman you did not love, and that is the purest hell for us."
"So spilling my seed in a woman links us?"
"It seems to be a side effect of our immortality. Our life force is so strong, so potent, that when we find our release inside a mortal woman the union that is forged connects us. And that link will soon include your child."
"Lisa's not pregnant," Circenn said quickly.
Adam glanced at him mockingly. "Of course she is. You—half-fae and half-mortal—are much more virile than we are. You might be our hope for the future."
"Lisa is carrying my child?" Circenn roared.
"Yes, from the moment you spent your seed, the first time you made love to her."
Circenn was stuck silent.
"The first seven months are splendid. It's amazing when the child's force starts to mingle with yours and hers. You feel the babe's awakening, its excitement, and burgeoning life. You marvel at what you have created, you hunger to see it arrive. Then the last two months become hellish. You, Circenn, were a pain in the ass. You wanted out, you kicked and brooded and argued, and suddenly I developed cravings for ridiculous foods I'd never wanted before, and ah—the birth, sweet Dagda! I suffered her labor. I felt the pain, and I felt the creation, the wonder. By the time you birth your first child, you and Lisa will be so deeply bound you won't be able to imagine breathing without her."
Circenn was silent, awed by the thought of Lisa's pregnancy and what was to come. Then the enormity of what Adam had just admitted struck him. "You had such a bond with my mother?"
"I am not without emotion, Circenn," Adam replied stiffly. "I endeavor to keep it still."
"But she died."
"Yes," Adam said. "And I ran to the farthest ends of the earth trying not to feel her death. But I couldn't escape it. Even on Morar, even on other worlds, I felt her dying."
"Why did you let her?"
Adam gave him a black look. "At least now that you understand that what I had with Morganna is what you have with Lisa, imagine what I endured permitting her to die. Perhaps you can find it within you to be less harsh in your judgment of me."
"But why did you let her?" Circenn repeated.
Adam shook his head. "My life with Morganna is another story and we have no time for it now."
Circenn studied the exotic man, who would no longer meet his gaze. Permit Lisa to die? Never. "But you could have made her immortal?" he pressed, with a sense of desperation.
Adam's jaw was rigid. He shot Circenn a furious gaze. "She wouldn't accept it. Now leave it."
Circenn closed his eyes. Why had his mother refused the potion if Adam had offered it? Would Lisa refuse?
He would not allow her to do so, he resolved. Never would he permit her to die. Gone were the vague feelings of guilt for his thoughts of making her immortal. After what Adam had just told him, he knew he could never endure losing the union they shared. A child! She carried his babe, and the bond would swell to include their son or daughter.