"What is that woman's name?" he muttered. "Never mind. Anyway, I wasn't in the mood."
Gannon laughed. "You? Not in the mood for a gorgeous woman? You feeling all right?"
"Funny." He took a sip of Guinness and savored the taste.
"Didn't mean it to be funny," Gannon said, studying him now through shrewd green eyes. "Something going on? You should be happy as hell. Heard you won the CEO position."
Shane's gaze snapped to him. "Who told?"
Someone at the bar laughed loudly and the music changed, drifting from a ballad in Gaelic to a jittering rhythm that even had Shane's toes tapping in time.
"Hell," Gannon laughed, "who doesn't know? Everyone in the company pretty much had it figured out a few months back. When those third-quarter profit statements came in, it was clear no one was going to be able to catch you."
Pride rippled through Shane, but it didn't do a damn thing to ease the knot of something else tightening in his chest. "Thanks. It was a team effort, though.
We all made it happen. Everyone at The Buzz worked their asses off."
"Which begs the question again," his nephew said. "You should be happier than hell right now. Why aren't you?"
"Long story."
"Do I look busy?"
Shane chuckled. "No, you don't." He nodded, paused for another sip of beer, then said, "Okay, but before we get into the sad, sad story of my life … How's your mom doing?"
Gannon's mother, Shane's sister-in-law Karen, had been battling breast cancer for the last year. And after a double mastectomy and a debilitating round of chemotherapy, the family was hopeful that she'd beaten the cancer.
Gannon blew out a breath and smiled. "She's doing good. Great, in fact." He signaled the waitress by holding up his empty beer glass, then shifted his gaze back to Shane. "Dad's at her side round the clock. It's pretty amazing to see, really. They've … rediscovered each other, I guess you'd say. And even with the cancer threat hanging over us all, they're so damn happy, it's ridiculous."
"I'm glad."
"Yeah," Gannon said wistfully, "me, too." When the waitress brought him a refill and took away his empty glass, Gannon turned his gaze on Shane. "So, now that we've covered Mom, what's going on with you?"
Shane really didn't want to get into it with his nephew. But who the hell else would understand? Gannon and his wife, Erika, had started out working together-and had an affair. It had all blown up in their faces of course, but they'd finally found their way back to each other and now seemed happy as clams.
Whatever the hell that meant.
"Before I get into that," he said, easing into an uncomfortable conversation, "when you and Erika first started your … "
"Affair?"
"Okay." Shane nodded. "Was it hard to work together? Was it … clumsy? Awkward?"
Gannon scraped one hand across his face. "It wasn't simple," he finally said.
"But we both knew what we were doing. We both chose to have the affair. Even though it ended badly."
"So you didn't have trouble working together once you'd had sex?"
"If you mean could I keep from imagining her naked, then no. But we managed. For a while." He frowned to himself.
Shane knew what he was thinking about. Gannon was one of the most private men Shane had ever known. The idea of people gossiping about him was anathema to him. The minute talk had started up in the company about his affair with Erika, he'd called it off. Erika had quit soon after and it hadn't been easy for Gannon to talk her into coming back once the Elliott family competition had started last January.
It hadn't been easy, but Gannon had finally realized just what Erika meant to him. And now they were married, and already a week overdue to become parents for the first time. "How's Erika holding up?"
"She's doing great," Gannon admitted. "I'm the one who jumps every time she makes a sound. But the doctor said if she hasn't delivered by next Monday, he'll induce. Thank God."
"That's good. Good." Shane nodded, then said under his breath, "I think I've done something really stupid."
"Rachel?"
"Is that a good guess or is there already talk?"
"No talk." Gannon took a drink. "It's just that Fin used to tell me all the time about how perfect Rachel was for you only you were too dumb to see it."
"Ah," Shane mused, "good to be loved by your family."
"Hey, we love you even when you're stupid."
"Small consolation."
"So," Gannon continued, "I'm guessing that things are not really rolling right along now that the situation with Rachel's … changed."
"You could say that." He shook his head and stared up at the pierced tin ceiling. "Hell, Gannon, I don't even know what to say to her anymore. I keep thinking about last night and-" He shut up fast, but it was pointless, since his nephew already understood exactly what Shane was feeling. Been there, done that.
"Don't use me for a template, Shane," Gannon said tightly. "I almost lost Erika, so I'm sure as hell not the one to give you advice."
Shane took a long, deep drink of his beer, then set the glass down again carefully. "Yeah, but you loved Erika. Even when you were being an idiot, you loved her."
"You don't love Rachel?"
Love?
He'd never really thought about love. Always been too busy just having a good time. But in his bones, he knew damn well that Rachel was different. She wasn't just another woman in a long string of unremarkable relationships.
But love?
Shane sighed and signaled the waitress. "Damned if I know."
Chapter 7
Ben & Jerry's was a sad substitute for sex with Shane.
But, since it was all Rachel had, she indulged. Curled up on the couch, with the TV muted and showing some old black-and-white movie, she dug her spoon into the chocolate chunk ice cream. One bite after another slid down her throat despite the huge knot lodged there.
"Idiot," she muttered, pausing to lick her spoon. If she had any spine at all, she'd be out tonight, doing some Christmas shopping. Getting on with her life.
Forgetting about Shane.
Apparently, though, her spine was pretty much a wet noodle.
She glanced around the room, sighing. But for the three Hollyberry scented candles burning in a twisted metal candelabrum on top of the entertainment center, there were absolutely no decorations up. This just wasn't like her.
Ordinarily Rachel was a real Christmas nut. Nothing she liked better than dragging out all of the boxes filled with her Christmas goodies. Stuffed animals, three crèches, hand knit stockings she'd made during her knitting phase, silk garland and the wreath she'd made the Christmas before.
But no. She couldn't get her mind off her troubles long enough to care about the most magical season of the year.
"Just pitiful," she murmured and dipped her spoon back into the carton for another chunk of chocolate.
When the phone rang, she ignored caller ID and all but lunged for it, desperate to hear a voice other than her own. That feeling lasted less than ten seconds.
"Honey," her mother cooed in a voice pitched to carry over fifty thousand screaming fans in Yankee Stadium. "I'm so glad you're home!"
"Hi, Mom." Rachel swallowed fast and instantly took another bite of chocolate.
She loved her mother, she really did. But every year about this time, Celeste Adler started in on the "you're not getting any younger" speech. Her mother was bound and determined to get her older daughter married and "settled." Rachel's younger sister, Rita, had been married two years and the "perfect" daughter was already pregnant. With twins.
So basically, even if Rachel got pregnant right this minute, Rita would still outdo her.
Pregnant.
For just an instant, she allowed herself a brief, tantalizing dream. One night with Shane and a baby to remember it by. Wouldn't that have been something? She sighed and took another bite of ice cream. No way. Her birth control pills were way too effective. Other women might have an accident, but Rachel wouldn't. Even her body was a rule follower.
"Rita had an ultrasound this morning and she let me come in with her and ohmygoodness-" that last was crammed into one breathless word "-it was the most exciting thing ever. You know, Rita's husband Jack is just the most wonderful man."
Rachel rolled her eyes. Jack would never be simply Jack. His full name from now unto eternity would be Rita's Husband Jack. Poor man. But then, she told herself as she crunched quietly on an extra big chunk of chocolate, no one had held a gun to his head. He'd dated Rita for two years. He knew exactly the kind of whacko family he was marrying into.