Beyond Eighteen(11)

“That’s not nothing, Max. Did Nick do this to you?” I demanded as I reached over to pull away his collar.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s over and I’m fine. Come on,” he tried to convince me as he clutched my hand and pushed it away from his neck.

A chill shot down the back of my spine. His cut up hands and bruised neck were my fault. Suddenly my ability to breathe and think clearly vanished. The temperature in the car became unbearably hot and every inch of my skin was drenched. I flung the door open, hoping to find relief from the scorching, crowded space enveloping me.

Before I could welcome the refreshing winter freeze, Max stretched his arm across me, grabbing the door handle. He pulled it closed and pushed down on the lock.

“What are you doing?” I asked, stunned.

“Don’t leave! You can’t walk away from me,” Max growled. His eyes slowly traced my expression as he inhaled heavily.

“What? I wasn’t leav—”

“I just buried my dad; I can’t handle losing anyone else I love. I can’t lose…you. Again,” Max said apologetically.

A simple expanding pause encompassed us until I broke the silence.

“Then I don’t understand why you didn’t come for me,” I carped. I knew my words were going to pierce his heart. But I had to find out why. His earthy green eyes constricted. His cheeks flushed while his ears burned red. He dragged his hands across his head, pulling back on his silken hair.

I continued with my accusations, pummeling him with every question I had. “Why didn’t you come for me? Why didn’t you call me, or at the very least text me. I need you to tell me why!”

“Wilson, I did. I called you but Nick answered your phone. He told me that you’d finally fallen asleep and that I needed to give you time. I had to believe that you were okay and that you’d call me when you were ready,” Max steamed.

“You called?” I mumbled.

“Yes, several times. When I didn’t hear back from you I felt myself tilt back into that spiraling mess I was in before. Wilson, the thought of losing you…” he paused. “So I tried one last time; I had Calvin text Nick and ask him to bring you to my father’s funeral. I thought if it wasn’t me asking…maybe you’d come. It was my last attempt to get you back. I waited for you to show up. And when you never came…” his voice trailed off. He shook his head as he lowered his eyes.

My heart melted into a puddle of complete sadness. And to believe I didn’t think he wanted me.

“Nick never told me you called. He never said anything to me about your father’s funeral. If I had known, I would have been there for you in a heartbeat,” I cried.

I could feel the heat rush to my face as I thought about the words Max was saying to me. If they were true, then Nick intentionally set out to ruin my relationship with Max. I tried to push the button to lower my window. The oxygen in the car suddenly disappeared and I couldn’t breathe deeply enough to keep from hyperventilating. The only thing I could do to avoid either throwing up or passing out was to fling the door open and get out. So that’s what I did.

The freezing evening air sliced across my skin. I hopped out before Max could reach across to close the door again. An ache built steadily from the back of my neck all the way down to the soles of my feet. My body temperature plummeted. The uneven snow under my boots shifted and I fell against the car. It felt like the world kept going and I was left behind. Everything was swirling around me. It wasn’t the death of my grandparents or Frank that hurled me over the edge, but the betrayal by Nick. My world came crashing down.

I heard the car door slam and the snow crunch under Max’s footsteps as he came around to me. I looked up at him through my tear-filled eyes. I felt my heart speed and my breathing increase as my breath rose in vapors which clouded and broke up in front of me. It felt like the whole midsection of my body could fold in half at any minute. A pressure built in the back of my throat and I couldn’t speak. My larynx was hijacked by the unrelenting waves of hiccups that diced through every word I tried to say.

Max stood frozen a few steps away from me. I think he was cautious to come closer until I raised my arms and stretched my hands out to him. It was forever before I felt him press his body against mine. He was the splint for my fractured soul. His arms folded across my upper back as he pulled me away from the car and I could feel the blistering cold assault every part of my body that wasn’t wrapped in him. As I collapsed in his embrace he lowered his head and buried his face in my neck. His warm breath sent chills rippling down my spine. He held me so tight I felt like I could barely breathe. I buried my face in his chest and sobbed.