Beyond Broken(83)

"Caleb," Maddie whispered, her throat tight and scratchy, her mind reeling from what he'd just told her. Quietly, she said, "You know we wouldn't treat our child the way your parents treated you."

"When my dad died, I lived with my mother full-time. For almost a year," he murmured, staring down at her, yet not seeing her. It was like she hadn't even spoken. It was like he couldn't stop now that he started. "And I try not to remember it. I think a part of her must have hated me. But now, I realize it was pure indifference and somehow that hurt even more. She wasn't present in my life even when I was right in front of her." His eyes narrowed and then he refocused on her. There was something defiant in his gaze when he told her, "My uncle found her in her bedroom one afternoon. She'd OD'ed sometime in the night and I hadn't even realized it."

Shock flooded her body and her hand flew to her mouth to cover a gasp.

"That morning, I got up, got dressed, ate breakfast, and walked to school, in the same house where my mother was dead and I didn't even realize it. And you know what I felt when my uncle picked me up from school that day? I felt relief. I felt relief that my mother was gone." The pain in his eyes was excruciating. "That is the ugliest part of me. And now you know. Are you satisfied?"

He seemed upset with himself. Perhaps upset that he'd even told her. Maybe he hadn't meant to tell her everything, but he had.

Caleb pushed away from her and stalked out of the bathroom, back into her small bedroom and snatched up his keys off the dresser. Maddie was frozen in place but once she realized what he was doing, she followed him quickly.



       
         
       
        

"Caleb, please don't leave," she pleaded, her voice cracking. What he'd told her struck her to the core. "You need to stop running away. One of us is always running away and I don't want to do it anymore!"

Caleb paused at her bedroom door and turned. His expression was blank, but Maddie could sense his pain, his regret. "You're asking me to stay after what I just told you? Don't you have any self-respect? Any sane person would be running."

She refused to be stung and slowly approached him. "Don't do that, Caleb. Not again."

His jaw clenched and he looked away from her, at the carpet, at the walls. Gently, she grasped his face, ignoring his flinch, and tilted it down so he was looking at her. For the first time, she saw how frightened he was and she felt her heart expand in her chest. A part of her had been frightened ever since she first encountered him all those months ago because she recognized that this man had the ability to destroy her. Now, looking into his eyes, she saw that she could destroy him as well.

When he'd asked her to move in with him, she hadn't comprehended what he truly wanted. But after what he'd just revealed to her, now she understood.

"You're asking me for everything, Caleb. Aren't you?" she whispered.

His eyelids fluttered shut as he allowed her to touch him. He was as still as a statue, his breaths shallow and measured. Unable to help herself, even knowing that she shouldn't, she brushed her lips across his eyelids, his cheeks, the tip of his nose.

Right before she reached his full lips, she murmured, "Okay." She sighed, wondering if she was making yet another mistake. "Okay, Caleb … we'll do this."

His arms came around her waist when she kissed him. His hot tongue swept inside and she thought he sagged with relief.

"With conditions," she murmured against him.

Caleb pulled back, wary. "And what are they?"

"We take this slow," she told him. "I'll move in with you, but I'll have my own room. And you won't interfere with my school schedule. I'll do everything as I normally would until the doctor says otherwise."

"Okay," he said, nodding. "Agreed."

She broke out of his arms when his gaze dropped to her lips. "Speaking of which, I need to get to the library."

Caleb frowned, but didn't stop her. "Come by the garage when you're done."

"Maybe if you ask, I will."

He paused. "Will you come by once you're done?"

"Maybe," she said, not even bothering to hide the teasing note in her tone, trying to lighten the mood. She thought the corner of his mouth quirked up. "My car is still at the garage," she reminded him, eyeing the keys in his hand. 

"Damn, I forgot," he murmured.

"You mean, something slipped by you?" she asked, smiling, picking out her clothes for the day.

"Where you're concerned, princess, it seems like a lot does."