Ever so slightly, she softened against him, as though she couldn't help herself. Maddie felt it too, whatever this weird pull between them was. They were both helpless against it, reduced to nothing more than thoughtless animals.
She mumbled something against his lips. Feeling like he was drugged, he whispered, "What?" Then he kissed her again, not wanting to go a second without feeling her against him.
But she pulled away. With kiss stung lips, she looked up at him, took a deep breath, and said the words that would change his life forever.
"Caleb, I'm pregnant."
His brow furrowed. "What?"
"I was a couple months late, so I took a test last week. And then a doctor confirmed it a couple days ago," she said quickly, eyes turning glassy, words that didn't make sense tumbling from her lips. "I'm pregnant."
Maddie looked terrified, but she watched him carefully. And when her words finally hit home, he backed away, running a hand through his hair. A thousand different thoughts streamed into his mind at once. Overwhelmed, he said, "We used a condom. It can't be mine."
Hurt and hot fury flashed over her face and Caleb already knew he'd said the wrong thing. He winced when he realized what had just come out of his mouth.
"Maddie, wait," he started, reaching for her. But she swatted his hands away, her face turning red. She snatched up her purse off the desk and made her way towards the door. Right when she got it open, he grasped her arm and slammed the door closed with his palm so hard that the doorframe rattled. He pressed his body against hers so she wouldn't be able to leave. He needed some time to think.
"Let go of me," she seethed, struggling against him.
"Will you just stop and let me process this?" he grated, boxing her in.
"I'd never had sex with anyone before you," she said, still beyond angry. "And you have the nerve to question whether or not the child is yours? Who the hell do you think you are?"
He blew out a breath, feeling his temper rise. "You caught me off guard, Maddie. How the fuck did you think I'd react? Did you think I'd be happy about it?"
"No, but I at least expected you to take some form of responsibility!"
"I am!" he exclaimed. Trying to reign in his frustration, he murmured, "Shit, Maddie, I am. Just give me a goddamn second, okay?"
She went silent, but Caleb didn't move an inch. He wanted to make sure she stayed put so he could work through what she'd told him.
The condom must have broke. Despite his words, he knew that Maddie wasn't the kind of girl to sleep around. She'd only ever been with him and he hadn't checked the condom afterwards, he realized. He'd been reeling from seeing the blood, from finding out that she'd been a virgin, that the state of the condom had been the last thing on his mind.
And the condoms. Hadn't Maddie said something about his condoms when she'd been over at his house? That they would need replacing? The condom he used the night they had sex had been from that box and he didn't even remember when he'd put it in his wallet.
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Fuck. This was all his fault. And now, they would both pay for it.
A child.
I'm going to be a goddamn father and I can't even get my shit together, he thought bitterly.
He peered down at Maddie and saw how exhausted she looked. This had been more than hard on her.
"I'm sorry," he murmured. "We'll get through this. I promise."
"This isn't something you just 'get through,' Caleb," she told him. "This is a child. This will change both of our lives. Irrevocably."
He ran a hand through his hair, seeing his options clearly laid out for him. If his uncle was still alive, the old man would have demanded that Caleb made an honest woman out of Maddie and married her before the child was born. John had always been an old-fashioned son-of-a-bitch. Although marriage was a little extreme, Caleb could see the old man's logic. The thought of Maddie pregnant and alone didn't appeal to him. At all. Thoughts of his own childhood, his parents, the broken family he'd come from rose into his mind, even though he'd long suppressed those memories and it made him want to vomit just thinking about it.
No, he didn't want his child to go through what he'd gone through.
And if he was being honest with himself, Caleb wanted Maddie, and not just because he lusted after her either. He'd driven himself mad these past two months, ever since she'd left him.
He made his decision in about three seconds. He only had to convince Maddie that it was a good idea.
Blowing out a breath, he told her, "I bought a house in Walnut Creek last week. We'll move in over the weekend."