Get yourself together, she told herself. She had nothing to be ashamed of just because she hadn't slept with other guys before now. She didn't understand why he was so angry.
So, she lifted her chin and said, "I was."
"Fuck!" Caleb burst out, making her jump. "Fuck!"
He shot to his feet, ripping off the condom before flinging it in the trash, and zipping up his jeans. Maddie sat up, huddling in on herself to cover her naked body. She wanted to throw up. She felt the bile rise in her throat.
Caleb ran a hand through his hair, pacing a little. "Why?" he asked, glaring down at her. "Why the fuck would you-"
He cut himself off and cursed again. Then he looked away like he couldn't stand the sight of her and stalked to the office door, throwing it open and then slamming it shut on his way out. Numb, Maddie listened to his footsteps down the stairs and then silence.
He left, was her stunned thought. He just left.
Maddie's mind was reeling. Her ears rang. Everything around her looked like a fuzzy dream-or nightmare, rather-like things weren't real. The office that she'd spent so much time in was now a strange, unfamiliar place and all she wanted to do was leave.
She thought that things would be different between them from now on, after what he'd told her. Remembering the naive hope that had sprouted in her chest earlier, now Maddie just felt like the biggest fool on the planet.
She smelled like him. His scent was all over her skin. When she licked her dry lips, she tasted him. It was too much. She needed to leave.
He left.
Sobs escaped from her throat before she realized it and then she couldn't stop them. She slapped a hand over her mouth to muffle them, but a few escaped. The space between her thighs ached as she pulled on her clothes, a relentless reminder that the last few moments had actually happened and she hadn't just imagined it all.
He left.
He left.
He left.
* * *
Caleb was crouched down in the dark corner of the second garage, staring at the rusted outline of his current work in progress. He'd stripped it almost completely and the next thing he needed to do was some patch-up work. He debated starting now, anything to take his mind off what just happened in his office with Maddie.
She'd been a fucking virgin, you sick bastard, he thought, squeezing his eyes shut. Remorse and revulsion hit him hard, making him want to vomit. He hated himself. He should've known, but how could he have? She didn't tell him. Still, he should've known when she tensed up. He just thought she needed time to get used to his size. She'd been tight; he'd figured it had been a long time for her. Now, he knew she'd been too tight.
"Fuck," he whispered to the empty garage. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."
He groaned, hating the images that assaulted his mind. Images of her, perfectly beautiful and bound, lying down in front of him. The way her whole body was flushed pink and the way those sweet, sweet lips parted for him.
And then he lost control. Before Maddie, he hadn't particularly cared whether a woman came before he did. He didn't care what they thought about him because the women he fucked he never saw again. They were all one night stands, who understood exactly what they were getting themselves into.
But buried inside Maddie … seeing her delicate wrists bound, feeling the softness of her skin, and those perfect fucking breasts upturned just for him … he'd lost his fucking mind. She hadn't orgasmed. And now, he realized just how painful it must've been for her.
He closed his eyes in remorse. Why didn't she say anything?
He'd gotten pissed. Pissed at himself for not realizing what was happening. Pissed at her for not telling him. Pissed for hurting her. Pissed for wanting her so much.
And then he'd handled it badly. He knew that. He'd stormed out like a coward when he should've stayed. He knew he'd eventually hurt her. This was what he was afraid of. He had a temper. He got angry and then he said stupid shit that he couldn't take back.
He knew that he needed to apologize, to explain himself. He didn't know if she'd forgive him because he didn't deserve her forgiveness.
With a steadying breath, he pushed up from his crouch and made his way back towards the office. He'd only been gone a few minutes. Surely she hadn't left yet. Then he saw that her car was gone from the parking lot and his stomach dropped. He ran up the metal staircase and burst through the door, needing her to still be inside.
The office was empty.
Her stuff was gone. The space where they'd been moments before was bare, save for his discarded belt. Panic flooded his veins and he snatched up his phone from the desk, only to realize that he didn't even have her fucking number.
He knew someone who did though.
Dialing Luke's number, he cursed when it went straight to voicemail. Of course, when Caleb actually needed to speak with him urgently, he didn't pick up.